RSVP rant

heatherneil1013

Seriously, how hard can it be to RSVP?   They are addressed and stamped, and even have an email address if getting away from the computer is too much work.  With a week to go, and a few unreturned calls later, I guess I should assume they're not coming?    

Had a phone meeting with my reception venue at the 10dy mark, and gave them the headcount for those who did RSVP.   If they just show up, then we'll throw an extra couple of chairs up for them.   

I have enough other stuff going on...can't let a couple of people stress me out.  I just needed to vent.   Thanks for "listening"!!!

banana468

You know you need to call to follow up with those who haven't responded yet right? ? What if it's lost in the mail?

loveislouder

She said "a few unreturned phone calls" so do assume she has called.

RebeccaFlower

I would try facebook next, OP. Or one final voice mail. "If I don't hear from you by 6:00pm tonight, we will be unable to accommodate you." People are jerks. 

thisismynickname2

Is there anyone else that can call for you? For example, we had two sets of cousins not RSVP. One is an out of town family we assumed wouldn't come anyway, and the other set... are just jerks. 

MIL followed up herself via her sisters, so we knew for sure not to expect them.  

abbyj700

heatherneil1013 said:

Seriously, how hard can it be to RSVP?   They are addressed and stamped, and even have an email address if getting away from the computer is too much work.  With a week to go, and a few unreturned calls later, I guess I should assume they're not coming?    

Had a phone meeting with my reception venue at the 10dy mark, and gave them the headcount for those who did RSVP.   If they just show up, then we'll throw an extra couple of chairs up for them.   

I have enough other stuff going on...can't let a couple of people stress me out.  I just needed to vent.   Thanks for "listening"!!!

I'm in this boat as well - except I'm not throwing up another table. We've called, we've facebooked (where you can see that people have looked at your message) and in some cases still - NOTHING. So if they show up, we'll be happy to host them - but I'm not going the extra mile to make them think "Oh it's fine that you literally ignored multiple messages."

southernbelle0915

I think you do need to say "We'd love to have you there, but if I don't hear from you by XX, I will assume you're not coming and we will not reserve a seat for you." Simple and clear. 

lbuet348

Less than half of my guest RSVPed to my wedding so I feel your pain! Most of those were my own family too! Even my wedding party didn't RSVP. Yes, I know they will be there but are they bringing a date? kids? That number adds up and some people just don't get it!! I had one friend who I had assumed wasn't coming RSVP 3 days before the wedding. Argh!!

Either way you will still have a good time and be married with or without those RSVPs!

312Emily

There will always be a few.  We had a couple that made me scratch my head:

1. Frat brother of DH who lives in town. Ignored 2 emails, a phone call from DH and a phone call from a groomsman (also in the fraternity).  DH finally gave him a drop dead date. We heard from him on that day, and he was like, "oh sorry, had a potential conflict and didn't want to disappoint. As far as food, I just don't want pork, and what do you guys want off your registry?" We weren't even serving pork (which he'd know if he picked up the RSVP card ever), and DH was like "whatever" on the gift and literally 20 minutes after we received that call, we noticed he'd bought a place setting of our china.  He ended up showing up in the middle of the ceremony. Weird.
2. Grad school friend of DH RSVP'd with his gf.  Then a couple days later, emailed that she couldn't come. THEN a week before the wedding, emailed that she COULD come. GF was a no-show and we had to eat the cost of her plate. As I was doing table visits, I noticed he had a box of four of our cupcakes to take home to his no-show GF.  I was a little annoyed because he clearly asked for them and took four of them, but whatever. Then, a couple weeks back I was at dinner with my friends, and they told me the guy was weird and was trying to convince everyone at the table to take home boxes of cupcakes too (and we were not doing to-go cupcakes). If everyone at the table also took four cupcakes, there would have been none left on our tower after everyone was served. Super rude all around.