Wedding Party

No head table?

My fiancé and I would prefer sitting at a round table to sitting at a sweetheart table or a king's table. This wouldn't be such a problem except for the fact that we also want our wedding party to sit with their significant others. In order to facilitate this, we would have to have fourteen people sitting around a ten person table.

Our question is this - is it ok if some of the wedding party and their SOs sit at other tables with people they know better? For example, my sister (also MOH) does know our friends because we lived across the country for years. We thought she and her plus one (she's not in a relationship, but we thought it would be best to give her a plus one) could sit with guests that she does know. Also, one of my BMs is a friend from our "new" city and so we thought she and her SO might be more comfortable at a table with other friends from our new city that they know. 

If we did this, then two non-wedding party persons would sit at the so called "head" table with their groomsman SOs and the other four people in our wedding party are either married to one another or in a serious relationship with one another so they'll also be seated together.

We're VERY reluctant to do this because we don't want my sister or other BM to think that they mean any less. I would obviously explain to them why we're doing it this way… 

Not sure what another good option would be… The consensus in our group of friends is that king's tables aren't great because they don't facilitate conversation. That, and, my fiancé really does not want to be "on display" during the dinner.


Re: No head table?

  • Yes, it's fine for them to sit among the other guests.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • My fiancé and I would prefer sitting at a round table to sitting at a sweetheart table or a king's table. This wouldn't be such a problem except for the fact that we also want our wedding party to sit with their significant others. In order to facilitate this, we would have to have fourteen people sitting around a ten person table.

    Our question is this - is it ok if some of the wedding party and their SOs sit at other tables with people they know better? For example, my sister (also MOH) does know our friends because we lived across the country for years. We thought she and her plus one (she's not in a relationship, but we thought it would be best to give her a plus one) could sit with guests that she does know. Also, one of my BMs is a friend from our "new" city and so we thought she and her SO might be more comfortable at a table with other friends from our new city that they know. 

    If we did this, then two non-wedding party persons would sit at the so called "head" table with their groomsman SOs and the other four people in our wedding party are either married to one another or in a serious relationship with one another so they'll also be seated together.

    We're VERY reluctant to do this because we don't want my sister or other BM to think that they mean any less. I would obviously explain to them why we're doing it this way… 

    Not sure what another good option would be… The consensus in our group of friends is that king's tables aren't great because they don't facilitate conversation. That, and, my fiancé really does not want to be "on display" during the dinner.



    Totally fine. We had a GM that didn't know anyone else in the wedding party and had 2 small children, so we knew he'd be happier with his family & their friends.
  • I would clear it with your MOH and other friend first. Just run it by them and gauge their reaction. I'm sure it's fine though. If you're not doing a big head table or kings table, then it won't be obvious that the bridal party isn't all sitting together and no one should feel left out. 
  • We did basically what you're suggesting. DH and I sat with our parents, my sister (MOH) and BIL (usher), and the one couple who came from overseas. 
    The three groomspeople sat at a table with their SO's and a few other friends from their circle. One BM, a college friend, sat with her SO at a table of college friends, and the other BM, a childhood friend, sat with her SO at a table of childhood friends.

    No sweat. General concensus is that everyone was much happier sitting with their circles than at a "head table".  
    ________________________________


  • I just ran this by our friend portion of the WP to be sure it wouldn't offend them or make them sad - as I suspected, they were thrilled, because they'll be with us all day and it'll give them a chance to hang out with their other friends who are usually scattered across the country. We'll just sit with our siblings and their SOs.
  • I think this is up to the people affected, of course. I have a similar problem with the head table, etc.. we have 5 on each side, his son and daughter included, who will not have dates, but everyone else has SO's. That's a big table! Plus, the kids have a few friends/close cousins they would prefer to sit with, and one of the Groomsmen has kids he will sit with, etc, etc... it gets to be a huge table, or we sit alone (ugh!) We opted to not have a special table for us, at all...we plan on eating after pics, while everyone is enjoying cocktail hour, and then just mingling the whole reception.. we can sit whenever or wherever, as there is no assigned seating, just  a few reserved tables for family (our parents, the WP, etc.--mostly to make sure our fathers are not in front of the band). Has anyone done this? I feel like it solves more problems than it creates. We'll see, I suppose... less than 2 weeks, now! 

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