Who Gets A Say In Seating Chart?

southernbelle0915

joyayotte said:

I have never understood the reason for a seating chart. Why can't people just sit where they want. Have a few reserved table for the important relatives, but let others do what they want.

This depends on a lot of things. If it's a crowd that's accustomed to seating charts at weddings, it'd be weird and awkward not to have one. The opposite is also true - if the crowd is used to open seating, it'd be awkward and too structured to have a seating chart.

Another thing is space. Open seating requires 10-15% more chairs so that if people leave space between them, don't fill up tables, etc. it's no big deal and everyone has a place to sit. If the venue doesn't have enough room for those extra tables/chairs, open seating isn't an option. 

Another thing is the size of the wedding. If it's a 400 person wedding, open seating could be cluster.

Open seating only really works well if it's a buffet or cocktail style reception or if there's only one menu choice. Multi-choice plated meals don't work well for obvious reasons. 

And finally, I think it's fine to reserve seats for the WP and immediate family - like 2 tables. But it's odd and kind of rude to reserve seats for half or most guests and make everyone else fend for themselves. 

All this from a girl who did open seating.

ETF words

themosthappy91

cheapchicbride16 said:

I have never understood the reason for a seating chart. Why can't people just sit where they want. Have a few reserved table for the important relatives, but let others do what they want.

Yeah we are having four different plated entrees served so I think it'd be kind of a mess for the servers if we didn't let them know ahead how many of what to bring to each table.  People might like the idea of sitting where they want, but I'm willing to bet they like getting a hot meal in a timely manner even better.

Jen4948

cheapchicbride16 said:

I have never understood the reason for a seating chart. Why can't people just sit where they want. Have a few reserved table for the important relatives, but let others do what they want.

Because guests don't want to walk around looking for places to sit like kids in a school cafeteria.  Too many times people, not just relatives, "reserve" tables for themselves and the people they want to sit with and use more seats to put their things on, leaving other people to have to inquire "Is this seat taken?" and then go on looking for some other place to sit.  And if there are only enough chairs for all the guests and no extras, then it's really uncomfortable for those people.

Not only that, if there is a buffet and people have to not only look around for seats but carry heavy trays of food and drink along with their own personal belongings while they do so, then it's really just inconsiderate not to assign them seats to begin with so they don't have to walk around and fend for themselves.  And if the meal is plated and guests have to choose their meal in advance, then the wait staff needs to know who is sitting where so they can serve them their meals properly.

Knottie30291358

There's actually a lot of academic thinking and research into issues like this because it tends to crop up when implementing pretty much any type of "intervention" (public health catchall for doing or changing something). Even though full-scale implementation isn't really possible or necessary, I'd say light reading up on stakeholder analysis and community-based participatory research and program development membership strategies would help clarify thinking on how to involve family and friends in all aspects of wedding planning.

For this particular topic, keep in mind that many of the people at the wedding will be family and family friends your in-laws will know better than you do and will have more of an emotional connection with. As such, your in-laws will want to both act as assets on how to best handle these guests and advocates for their interests.

Viczaesar

cheapchicbride16 said:

I have never understood the reason for a seating chart. Why can't people just sit where they want. Have a few reserved table for the important relatives, but let others do what they want.

Not treating all of your guests the same is a problem.  Reserving some tables for your guests and leaving the others to fend for themselves with the leftover space is rude.

JellyBean52513

Knottie30291358 said:

There's actually a lot of academic thinking and research into issues like this because it tends to crop up when implementing pretty much any type of "intervention" (public health catchall for doing or changing something). Even though full-scale implementation isn't really possible or necessary, I'd say light reading up on stakeholder analysis and community-based participatory research and program development membership strategies would help clarify thinking on how to involve family and friends in all aspects of wedding planning.

For this particular topic, keep in mind that many of the people at the wedding will be family and family friends your in-laws will know better than you do and will have more of an emotional connection with. As such, your in-laws will want to both act as assets on how to best handle these guests and advocates for their interests.

Am I drunk off half a glass of wine or does this really not make an ounce of sense?

levioosa

JellyBean52513 said:

Knottie30291358 said:

There's actually a lot of academic thinking and research into issues like this because it tends to crop up when implementing pretty much any type of "intervention" (public health catchall for doing or changing something). Even though full-scale implementation isn't really possible or necessary, I'd say light reading up on stakeholder analysis and community-based participatory research and program development membership strategies would help clarify thinking on how to involve family and friends in all aspects of wedding planning.

For this particular topic, keep in mind that many of the people at the wedding will be family and family friends your in-laws will know better than you do and will have more of an emotional connection with. As such, your in-laws will want to both act as assets on how to best handle these guests and advocates for their interests.

Am I drunk off half a glass of wine or does this really not make an ounce of sense?

This is how I feel she writes all of her responses:

Butterflyz419

Viczaesar said:

cheapchicbride16 said:

I have never understood the reason for a seating chart. Why can't people just sit where they want. Have a few reserved table for the important relatives, but let others do what they want.

Not treating all of your guests the same is a problem.  Reserving some tables for your guests and leaving the others to fend for themselves with the leftover space is rude.

How is it any different than reserving seats at the ceremony for the VIPs? This is certainly not rude in the slightest. I am 100% pro-seating chart, but this argument is nonsensical. Not all of the guests are equal and everyone knows that.

BrandNewJ

Butterflyz419 said:

Viczaesar said:

cheapchicbride16 said:

I have never understood the reason for a seating chart. Why can't people just sit where they want. Have a few reserved table for the important relatives, but let others do what they want.

Not treating all of your guests the same is a problem.  Reserving some tables for your guests and leaving the others to fend for themselves with the leftover space is rude.

How is it any different than reserving seats at the ceremony for the VIPs? This is certainly not rude in the slightest. I am 100% pro-seating chart, but this argument is nonsensical. Not all of the guests are equal and everyone knows that.

Reserving seats at the ceremony is different because your closest relatives will be walking down the aisle and if they had to fend for seats, they'd end up in the back and that's not cool. Also, not everyone knows that you've tiered your guests... Who is to say my friend my hs is less important than my uncle? Everyone needs to be treated equally throughout the night. It's really rude and mean if you don't. It's like serving your family lobster while the rest of your guests chicken. Not ok.

lovegood90

levioosa said:

JellyBean52513 said:

Knottie30291358 said:

There's actually a lot of academic thinking and research into issues like this because it tends to crop up when implementing pretty much any type of "intervention" (public health catchall for doing or changing something). Even though full-scale implementation isn't really possible or necessary, I'd say light reading up on stakeholder analysis and community-based participatory research and program development membership strategies would help clarify thinking on how to involve family and friends in all aspects of wedding planning.

For this particular topic, keep in mind that many of the people at the wedding will be family and family friends your in-laws will know better than you do and will have more of an emotional connection with. As such, your in-laws will want to both act as assets on how to best handle these guests and advocates for their interests.

Am I drunk off half a glass of wine or does this really not make an ounce of sense?

This is how I feel she writes all of her responses:

That whole paragraph reminds me of that episode of Friends when Joey had to write that adoption recommendation letter for Chandler and Monica...and he literally just used a thesaurus for every word.

"They're humid, prepossessing Homo sapiens with full-sized aortic pumps." 

Maggie0829

Knottie30291358 said:

There's actually a lot of academic thinking and research into issues like this because it tends to crop up when implementing pretty much any type of "intervention" (public health catchall for doing or changing something). Even though full-scale implementation isn't really possible or necessary, I'd say light reading up on stakeholder analysis and community-based participatory research and program development membership strategies would help clarify thinking on how to involve family and friends in all aspects of wedding planning.

For this particular topic, keep in mind that many of the people at the wedding will be family and family friends your in-laws will know better than you do and will have more of an emotional connection with. As such, your in-laws will want to both act as assets on how to best handle these guests and advocates for their interests.

This is not a fucking business class!  I come here to get away from industry talk, not to have to read posts like this that highlights exactly why I hate talking to half of my managers.

Viczaesar

JellyBean52513 said:

Knottie30291358 said:

There's actually a lot of academic thinking and research into issues like this because it tends to crop up when implementing pretty much any type of "intervention" (public health catchall for doing or changing something). Even though full-scale implementation isn't really possible or necessary, I'd say light reading up on stakeholder analysis and community-based participatory research and program development membership strategies would help clarify thinking on how to involve family and friends in all aspects of wedding planning.

For this particular topic, keep in mind that many of the people at the wedding will be family and family friends your in-laws will know better than you do and will have more of an emotional connection with. As such, your in-laws will want to both act as assets on how to best handle these guests and advocates for their interests.

Am I drunk off half a glass of wine or does this really not make an ounce of sense?

Does it have to be either/or? 

ReginaLambert13

Wow it would not have even occurred to me to show the seating plan to anyone, really.  I mean my FH has been kind of helping me work up a draft (we haven't gotten RSVPs yet but I wanted to at least have an idea) but I don't really see any reason to involve anyone else.  I guess it depends on the wedding, but for us all it really does is determine where people sit for the dinner portion of the evening.  I think people often get too many voices involved in too many aspects of weddings and that's where a great deal of stress comes from.  Unless they mentioned it, I wouldn't bring it up to anyone personally just because I wouldn't think to.  It seems like the kind of thing where if you make people think they have cause to be worried about it, they will be, but if you just take care of it most people wouldn't even take note.