Vow Renewals

Invitations, etc.

For my vow renewal, I have skipped some of the rules people mentioned on here and decided to make it my own (since it is mine). For some reason, I can't seem to make up my mind on if I should send save-the-dates before invites--should I? Also, is it too much to make a website for the renewal so people can RSVP and get other important details about the day? How do I go about announcing that no children are allowed? Thanks!
deannabob77

Re: Invitations, etc.

  • edited October 2014

    I am not the biggest invite expert but I think save the dates are great ideas for those who will need to make travel plans and for those who tend to have pretty busy schedules, which seems to be almost everyone! :)

    As for no kids, you are supposed to simply put the name of the couple on the invite and not the children. When children are invited, their names are included.

    BUT unfortunately, not everyone understands this. We are throwing a baby shower for my SIL. It is for women only, no kids and no men. So naturally only the women's names are on the invites. Easy right? People call to RSVP and guess what- they ask if their kids and even husbands can come. I guess it is better that they are asking "just to be sure" rather than just showing up with them. But... you should be sure when you only see your name on the invite! This is why people in our family/circle have indeed stated "adult only" on wedding invites. Some of these people have had 60 years to discover this but haven't and then the host of an event has to "teach" them and it sucks. LOL Okay... sorry for my rant on your post!

    Happy planning. :)

    mrsdweaver
  • @destinationtake2 Lol it's okay that you went on a rant, I think my family be one of those families that fails to realize that no name on the invite means no invite.lol but thanks for the help--I'll definitely be looking into STDs, especially since the ceremony will be during the summer (vacation season)!
    deannabob77
  • Vow renewals do not usually have Save the Dates sent out.  Those are mostly for weddings.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    mrsdweaver
  • @CMGragain My concern is if I don't let them all know in time, they may have already planned a vacation (it's in June). I just want them to know in enough time. If no STD should be sent, when do you recommend sending out the invites? I don't want to send them too early where they forget, but in advance enough for them to NOT plan summer vacation.
    deannabob77
  • I don't think there's a hard and fast rule about save the dates for a vow renewal. They are still a fairly new thing and while they seem to be mostly for weddings, they're function no matter what the occasion is the same. You just want to inform specific people that on this date and at this place, this event will be happening and that you'll be inviting them. 

    The only rule I've ever heard that actually makes sense where STD's are concerned is that if you send someone a STD you have to send them an invite. It would be kind of rude to leave someone hanging who thought they were going to be invited to something then wasn't.

    If you're afraid your intended guests will made other plans first, not knowing about your renewal, by all means, send them!

    destinationtake2mrsdweaver
  • I will be sending out save the date. I want to make sure everyone have time to found babysitter and such.
    mrsdweaver
  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited October 2014
    @CMGragain My concern is if I don't let them all know in time, they may have already planned a vacation (it's in June). I just want them to know in enough time. If no STD should be sent, when do you recommend sending out the invites? I don't want to send them too early where they forget, but in advance enough for them to NOT plan summer vacation.
    Vow renewal invitations should be sent no earlier than 8 weeks.  They are not second weddings.  I doubt if anyone except very close family would be willing to postpone vacation plans for a vow renewal celebration, and they would probably already be aware of the event.  Vow renewals that I have seen are not huge celebrations.  Anybody should be able to get slight and childcare issues covered in 8 weeks time.  (Do people actually fly to attend vow renewals?  I wouldn't.)
    Typical formal vow renewal:  25th wedding anniversary, hosted by couple's adult children.  Guests include family members and very close friends.  Dinner and drinks with some dancing.  Children definitely included because this is a family event.  I have played at quite a few of these when I was a church organist.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • CMGragain said:
    @CMGragain My concern is if I don't let them all know in time, they may have already planned a vacation (it's in June). I just want them to know in enough time. If no STD should be sent, when do you recommend sending out the invites? I don't want to send them too early where they forget, but in advance enough for them to NOT plan summer vacation.
    Vow renewal invitations should be sent no earlier than 8 weeks.  They are not second weddings.  I doubt if anyone except very close family would be willing to postpone vacation plans for a vow renewal celebration, and they would probably already be aware of the event.  Vow renewals that I have seen are not huge celebrations.  Anybody should be able to get slight and childcare issues covered in 8 weeks time.  (Do people actually fly to attend vow renewals?  I wouldn't.)
    Typical formal vow renewal:  25th wedding anniversary, hosted by couple's adult children.  Guests include family members and very close friends.  Dinner and drinks with some dancing.  Children definitely included because this is a family event.  I have played at quite a few of these when I was a church organist.
    To the bolded: Depending on what my relationship to the couple is and where I'd be flying, yes, I absolutely would fly to attend a vow renewal. I would likely not postpone an already planned vacation but I would make an attempt to schedule things to be able to attend the renewal and go on vacation, if I had the advanced warning that receiving a STD could provide me.

    deannabob77

  • CMGragain said:
     
    (Do people actually fly to attend vow renewals? 
    To the bolded: Depending on what my relationship to the couple is and where I'd be flying, yes, I absolutely would fly to attend a vow renewal. I would likely not postpone an already planned vacation but I would make an attempt to schedule things to be able to attend the renewal and go on vacation, if I had the advanced warning that receiving a STD could provide me.
    Yeah, same here. I think of most vow renewals as a "close family and friends event" so I would definitely fly to one under the assumption that if I'm invited, I am pretty close with the couple. I wouldn't want to miss it just because I am not local to them. In fact, events like this are even more exciting for me if it's long distance because I get the chance to travel and see someone special to me that I don't get to see often. I would save the date if I had enough notice.
    deannabob77

  • CMGragain said:
     
    (Do people actually fly to attend vow renewals? 
    To the bolded: Depending on what my relationship to the couple is and where I'd be flying, yes, I absolutely would fly to attend a vow renewal. I would likely not postpone an already planned vacation but I would make an attempt to schedule things to be able to attend the renewal and go on vacation, if I had the advanced warning that receiving a STD could provide me.
    Yeah, same here. I think of most vow renewals as a "close family and friends event" so I would definitely fly to one under the assumption that if I'm invited, I am pretty close with the couple. I wouldn't want to miss it just because I am not local to them. In fact, events like this are even more exciting for me if it's long distance because I get the chance to travel and see someone special to me that I don't get to see often. I would save the date if I had enough notice.
    I in no way expect people to postpone vacation for my vow renewal, but I do want everyone to attend so I wanted to let them know in enough time so that their vacations could maybe be planned a week before or after (if they've already planned it, then I'd have to miss them). Also, I don't want children involved because while it is a family event, there is no way my HUGE family can fit in the venue with their many children. I want them there but I don't want us all cramped in. I would surely hope that my loved ones would be willing to travel for my celebration, simply because they love us, because I'm sure I would for them if I had no other pressing obligations. I just wanted an idea of if I should or should not send STDs because while I know it isn't a second wedding, my family was upset about our elopement and insisted upon a celebration (that my husband and I had already been putting in the works). Thanks for all the input everyone!
  • It sounds like STDs are your answer. There are people whom you know will want to attend and they will appreciate the courtesy and opportunity to plan ahead. :)
    mrsdweaver
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    I don't see anything wrong with sending STDs for a vow renewal.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    deannabob77mrsdweaver
  • deannabob77deannabob77
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its
    member
    edited November 2014
    There a web site,,, called I do still . They have info about save the date such as how to word them and ect ect. I'm founding this site helpful. :)
    mrsdweaver
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