Plus One and their SO

twitterbird

My mom decided she wanted to add a former co-worker to the list yesterday (we'll call her Beth). Beth and my mom were good friends for many years and recently reconnected. We have the space so I said ok and gave mom an invite to give Beth. Beth has never been married and has no SO although we did give a plus one. Beth recently moved to our town (hence the reconnection) and won't know anyone at the wedding other than my mom. My mom suggested another former co-worker (we'll can Tammy) be her plus one as mom knows they are friends. It was only a suggestion and we don't really care who Beth brings. Anyways Beth says she can't bring Tammy unless we also invite Tammy's new fiance. Mom and Tammy aren't friends and Tammy isn't invited to the wedding - Beth is. Are we obligated to invite Tammy's fiance as we suggested her as Beth's plus one?

I'm confused and need coffee lol.

sarawifenow

In this situation, I don't think you are obligated to extend the invite to Tammy's FI. I may be wrong though.

huskypuppy14

No absolutely not. You made a suggestion to who Beth could bring, but you aren't requiring that she bring Tammy. Beth can bring anyone she wants, but if her plus one has a SO you are not obligated to invite that person.

Maggie0829

No you are not obligated to invite Tammy's FI.  You aren't inviting Tammy you are inviting Beth who is possibly bringing Tammy as her plus one.  Think of it this way.  Say your friend "Jane" gets invited to a wedding with an "and Guest."  She decides to ask you to be her guest.  Would you expect your FI to be invited?

martha1818

Nope, just tell Beth she can bring whoever she wants. If she brings Tammy, Tammy would come alone as she is a plus one and not an original guest. If Tammy has a problem with that then Beth can choose another plus one.

lavenderfields13

Yeah I'd say no. Beth can bring someone else then. plus ones don't get to bring other people. 

banana468

Beth can't multiply her invitation. Just tell her that she's welcome to bring A guest.

theartistformerlyknownas

No, because math. Tammy isn't invited. Beth is invited, and she may bring Tammy as a plus ONE. Not a plus TWO.

southernbelle0915

No. If you were inviting Tammy, you'd need to invite Tammy's FI. But you invited BETH. 

Beth can bring whoever she wants, but only one person. If that's Tammy, fine. But not Tammy AND her FI. If it's her mom, fine. But not her mom AND her dad. KWIM?

twitterbird

Thanks all. That's what I thought but wanted to confirm.

Liatris2010

lolo883 said:

No, because math. Tammy isn't invited. Beth is invited, and she may bring Tammy as a plus ONE. Not a plus TWO.

This. It's a plus one, not a plus two.

Jen4948

A plus one situation is, I think, an exception to the rule that if you invite someone you must also invite their SO.  If you allow someone to bring a person of their choice, that person's SO need not be invited because the plus one is someone who didn't rate their own invitation since they weren't the SO of the invited person.  Of course if they were, they would have to be invited together anyway.

melbenso

No.  You invite Beth.  You politely give her a plus one because she won't know anyone else there.  She invites who she chooses.  If that person has a significant other, the SO is not invited (You didn't give her a plus two).  If that person won't come without their significant other, they aren't coming and Beth can ask someone else to be her plus one.  Lather.  Rinse.  Repeat.

Edited for clarity

lc07

PPs are correct. But why did you suggest who she brings as a plus one? That's kind of strange.

twitterbird

lc07 said:

PPs are correct. But why did you suggest who she brings as a plus one? That's kind of strange.

My mom did that - not me. Now she's talking about taking the invitation back but I told her that its too late and that it would be rude to take it back.

MrsMarende

I would tell her, I understand Tammy may not want to attend without her Fiance, unfortunately I only have enough space for you, (Beth) and your guest. If Tammy is unable to attend on her own please feel free to invite someone else to join you. 

Unfortunately your mom should not be involved in the decision process of who Beth should bring, but that ship has sailed. It may be appropriate for your mom to clarify with Beth that she was only suggesting Tammy and that she should bring whomever she pleases, especially if Tammy is unable to attend alone.