Attire. (Petty vent.)

hikebikebemerry

So I was on the phone with my FMIL last night.  (She is awesome.)  And she was stressing me out because she was telling me how uncomfortable she was going to feel because her dress is far more formal than my Mom's.  At this point, I really can't do anything to make her feel better.

FMIL has a floorlength chiffon dress (oh, and she's been telling people that the wedding, "isn't that formal"; ummmm, ok?  After 5 p.m., full open bar, sit down meal, whatever.).  It is going to look beautiful on her, and it makes me sad that she is going to be at all uncomfortable.  She was also in a spot where she ordered her dress way ahead of time, because she wanted to get it done so that she could make sure to find something she liked without having to rush.

My Mom, (who gives zero shits about my wedding- Seriously, the only way in which she talks about it is stuff relating to her (or her new BF).. but that's another issue) waited until 2 months before the wedding to even start looking.  And everything that she tried on, she bitched about.  I finally found a dress that she didn't complain about that hits just below the knee.

They will both look stunning, and IDGAF if they match.  Now I'm just stressed out that FMIL feels uncomfortable.

I'm also becoming cranky that me not being a domineering bitch about the whole process means that my wedding isn't fancy.

Ugh, sorry.  I'm just really fucking annoyed with people right now.

... and I'm PMSing like it's my job.

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826

OMG preach!  My MIL did the same thang!

Her dress cost more than mine.  Like whaaat?  My mother in the meantime found a MOB set on sale and looked wonderful and spent like 100 bucks maybe.  

I wish your mother in law would just rock the dress.  Tell her to freakin' rock it.  She cares and wanted to find something she liked.  She shouldn't feel self conscious because your mother didn't do the same!

CTYankeeBride

I agree! Your FMIL took the time to choose that dress, and she should definitely rock it and love it, and move on.  She should not at all be self-conscious about it especially when it seems like she put a lot of thought into what she would wear.

My mom also chose a fairly informal dress (it's an ankle length shift dress with a sheer jacket).  She is also in the "let me bitch about every dress I see even though I have 2 months to shop" camp as well.  She has taken to complaining that my aunts will be dressed better than her.  Oh, and she insisted on only shopping at thrift stores at first.  I have absolutely nothing against thrift stores but if you're going to be horribly fussy and time is running out then it might be time to at least consider a department store. 

April192002

Both our moms have been asking me what the other's wearing, and didn't want to get anything until they knew. They both dress similar day to day so I imagine their dress up style is similar too. My mom's a little uncomfortable in super dressy but I told her Sunday best...and she finally picked out a floor length dress that's in gray, black, and white (our wedding colors). If it were more colorful I could see her wearing it to church. Now I have to inform his mom and attempt to describe something I don't remember very well.

jaime232

Is it normal to be expected to have an opinion on what the mothers wear?   Because I just don't, as long as it's not a hideous color.

On the attire note, though, one of my friends was like, "How formal is this wedding, anyway?  I was thinking maybe some nice pants and a short-sleeved polo?"  (for her husband) WHAAAT.   Maybe I've been to FAR too many weddings but my fiance has fairly high standards (for himself) and always, always wears black pants, a collared long sleeve shirt, and a tie.  Our wedding venue is a restored barn, but it's not a LITERAL FARM (though there is a random goose and a couple donkeys... and a turkey.. away from our festivities... haha), so I'm not sure what she was thinking.  But I want people to think about showing up in nice clothes.  Because that's what we'd do.. lol.  

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826

One of my friends showed up in a striped t-shirt and khakis.  She threw me off a bit, lol.

hikebikebemerry

goldchocobo said:

One of my friends showed up in a striped t-shirt and khakis.  She threw me off a bit, lol.

Some people have no idea how to dress themselves, or what "appropriate attire" means.  It does make me sad when my friends look silly, just because they don't know better.

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826

Not to be a total wedding bitch (because this will sound like I am being one) but one of my friends, a different one, is very socially awkward.  She was one the missed the ceremony entirely (because she's ALWAYS late) then left 2 seconds after the cake cutting.  We were going through the cards people sent us and noticed this friend didn't even give a card.  You didn't even need to put anything in it, just a card to acknowledge you were there would have been nice..  We were joking around that she was a wedding crasher because I  barely saw her!  If I blinked I would have missed her!

hikebikebemerry

I don't think that you sound like you're being a wedding bitch.  I'd like to think I could get more than a dine and dash out of my friends*.

*If someone doesn't like drinking, dancing, etc. so they leave early, that is clearly fine, but I'm very selfish and I'm getting to see a lot of my friends that I haven't gotten to see due to vacation limitations/ travel budgets/ etc.. and I want to celebrate with them.. I don't want them to leave early!!

... at least if nothing else I out bratted you.

April192002

I think it's completely normal for the immediate family (especially parents) to want dress in non-clashing colors and to the same degree of formality. Guests I think have a little slack, unless it's Black Tie. I had someone ask me what colors she should wear. I told her "Not nude - I don't want to see anyone naked or at first glance think they are naked."

My dad will at least wear slacks, a button up shirt, and tie. With it being late Nov. he probably will wear a suit. He has several that he wears on occasion to work or church. FI's dad will probably come in slacks/khakis and maybe a button up shirt. I've never seen him dressed up and don't even know if he owns a suit. I will find out in 24 days!

 

When I attend weddings I take into consideration the time, venue, and invitation. I usually wear black heels, black slacks, and a solid darker colored button up cuffed & collared shirt (long or short sleeve depending on the season). If it's jacket cold, I pull out a heavier coat that isn't my everyday wear (so it doesn't have holes). It's office appropriate, church appropriate, and looks nice in pictures.