Invites and Paper

How to word your wedding invitation

CMGragainCMGragain
10000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 25 Answers
member
edited November 2014 in Invites and Paper
There is a lot of confusion about wedding invitations.  Wedding invitations are a simple note to from the hosts to the guests telling them the important information of who, what, when and where.  They are not family trees.  They are not the place to list family members unless they are hosting. They are not the proper place to declare how much you love each other.  It is not an honor to be on a wedding invitation, only to receive one.  Deceased persons are NEVER on an invitation!  NEVER!  The groom's family does not normally appear on the invitation UNLESS they are hosting.

Bride's parents are hosting:

Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesparents
request the pleasure of your company*
at the marriage of their daughter
Bride's First Middle
to
Mr. Groom's Full Name
Saturday, the twentieth of December
two thousand fourteen
at half after one o'clock
Venue Name
Address
City, State (no zip!)

Both Bride's parents and Groom's parents are hosting:

Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesparents
Mr. and Mrs. George Groomsparents
request the pleasure of your company*
at the marriage of
Bride's Full Name
and
Groom's Full Name
(etc.)

If the bride and groom are hosting their own wedding:

The pleasure of your company is requested*
at the marriage of
Bride's Full Name
and
Groom's Full Name
(etc.)

If the family is so confusing that it would take a book to write everybody's name on your invitation:

Together with their parents (families)
Bride's Full Name
and
Groom's Full Name
request the pleasure of your company*
as they are united in marriage
(etc.)

For same sex couples, the wording is the same.  I would put the names of the couple in alphabetical order, but it really doesn't matter.

* If the wedding will be held in a church, or other house of worship, you must use "request the honor (honour) of your presence".  Honour of your prersence is ONLY used for church weddings.

If your reception will be held in the same location as your ceremony, then you simply put "Reception to follow" at the bottom of the invitation.  If the reception is being held in a different location, then you need a separate reception card that gives that information.  Do not describe the food and entertainment at your reception.

If you are having a small wedding, or a courthouse ceremony, it is customary to send out wedding announcements to friends and family who were not invited to the wedding.  This does NOT mean that they should send you gifts.  The usual response is to send a nice note or card of congratulations.  It is like publishing your wedding announcement in the newspaper, but more personal.
Here is traditional wording for wedding announcements:

Bride's Full Name
and
Groom's Full Name
announce their marriage
December 20, 2014
Annapolis, Maryland

or

Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesparents
announce the marriage of their daughter
Bride's First Middle
to
Mr. Groom's First Name
December 20, 2014
Annapolis, Maryland

No other details should be included.  It would be like saying, we had a wonderful wedding with all this stuff, but you weren't invited.

There are many variations to the traditional wording of invitations, but you must be careful that your wording is very clear to your guests.  For instance, inviting someone to "a celebration of love" is very confusing.  It is not at all clear that this is a wedding.  Vow renewals must also be clearly worded so that no one thinks they are being invited to a wedding.  This can cause a lot of bad feelings!

Feel free to ask questions on this board.  There is a wording solution for every family situation.





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Re: How to word your wedding invitation

  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut
    Moderator Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mod

    Thank you so much, CMGragain.

     I appreciate you offering to help with adapting this traditional wording for unusual circumstances.

                
    MrsN2015Knottie74737804Knottie20984316
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    One other thing: No mention of gifts, including registry information, honeymoon funds, no gifts requests, or suggestions of donations to charities, should ever be included in a wedding invitation.  (Shower invitations can include registry information).  To do so makes the couple appear to believe that they are "entitled" to wedding gifts.  They are not.

    That said, if you get a wedding invitation, get the couple a nice gift within your budget-it doesn't have to be listed on a registry-and send it to them either before or after the wedding.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    edited November 2014
    Also:  Hosting is not determined by who is paying for what.  That's none of the guests' business.  It is determined by who is acting as the "point person/s" of the wedding; i.e., issuing the invitations, receiving the replies, acting as "guest contact" for questions and issues, greeting guests at the wedding reception, and making sure that the guests' needs are taken care of.  A person who is not doing these things, regardless of how much s/he is contributing financially, is not a "host" and should not be listed as such on an invitation.
    whovianstarkfelicialcarterAustralian_girl_in_Paris
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member

    There are some invitations samples for brides host wedding and parent host wedding:

    @KnotRiley‌, vendor alert. This is showing up in other threads in Invites and Paper as well.

    @Knottie04752293‌, it's a TOS violation to advertise commercial services in this forum outside the Classifieds folder.
  • KnotRileyKnotRiley New York, NY
    Moderator 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary
    admin
    @Jen4948 banned and content deleted, thank you!!
    MairePoppy
  • "Do not describe the food and entertainment at your reception."

    Does this mean when you put meal choices on RSVP cards?  Sorry if this is dumb, just want to make sure I don't break any etiquette rules!

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member

    "Do not describe the food and entertainment at your reception."

    Does this mean when you put meal choices on RSVP cards?  Sorry if this is dumb, just want to make sure I don't break any etiquette rules!

    @mhoffman17 - no this does not mean you can't list meal choices.  This is talking to stating "cocktails, hors devours and dancing to follow" or "dinner and dancing to follow."

    I personally don't always agree with the "do not describe the food or entertainment" rule because if I am going to an 8pm wedding this could either mean I am served a full meal or just apps and dessert.  At that point I would like to know what I may be getting so I know how to eat appropriately beforehand.  It also doesn't hurt anything by your guests knowing what to expect.  I don't know anyone who would bitch because they were told they were getting a meal and that dancing would be a possibility.

    mhoffman17
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut
    Moderator Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mod

    CMGragain is referring to the invitation, itself, not the additional enclosures that accompany today's invitations.


                
    mhoffman17CMGragain
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut
    Moderator Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mod

    You're welcome @mhoffman17.

    If anyone has questions about invitation wording, please feel free to start a thread.

                
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