Invites and Paper

How to address your wedding invitations

CMGragainCMGragain
10000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 25 Answers
member
edited November 2014 in Invites and Paper
Traditionally, wedding invitations are addressed in cursive by hand.  This is THE proper way to do it.  If you can't write cursive, printed letters are acceptable.  Some brides hire people to address their envelopes (calligraphers).  This is expensive and unnecessary. 
You don't care?  Fine, but you need to know the rules before you decide to break them.  Some brides run their envelopes through their computer printer.  Tracing the letters with a pen is sometimes done.  Please don't use sticky labels!  Those are strictly for junk mail.

These are typical forms of address.  Do not use abbreviations such as "St." for Street.  The post office prefers that we use standard abbreviations for the USA states, so I bow to them.

Married couples:  Mr. and Mrs. John Smith,  or Ms. Jane Smith and Mr. John Smith, or Doctor Jane Jones and Mr. John Smith

Unmarried couples:  Ms. Jane Jones
                               Mr. John Smith   (on separate lines)

The title "Miss" means unmarried woman of any age.  Many ladies prefer Ms.

Divorced woman:  Mrs. Jane Jones or Ms, Jane Jones.

Widow:  Mrs. John Smith  (unless you know she prefers something else.)

Same sex couples are addressed in the same way as any others.  I would suggest alphabetical to determine who is listed first.:

Mr James Jones and Mr. Robert Smith  (married)  (Female couples may both use the title Mrs. if they prefer.)

Ms. Jane Jones
Ms. Sally Smith  (unmarried)

For plus ones, I would try and find out the actual name and write it on the envelope, but otherwise, I suggest inserting a note that says "You are invited to bring a guest."

The inner envelope is an old tradition.  In the old days, the servant would remove the dirty outer envelope when it arrives, and present the inner envelope on a silver tray for the lady of the house to respond.  (Shades of Downton Abbey!)

The inner envelope contains the names of everyone who is invited along with the couple:

Mr. and Mrs. Smith
(Miss) Susan Smith
(Master) Robert Smith
(No address is written on the inner envelope.)
If there is no inner envelope, you can write this on the outer envelope. It is OK to write the children's names on one line together below their parent's names.  Never write "The Smith Family"!  They might bring Grandma and Uncle Ed!  If there are simply too many in the family, and no inner envelope, I would put a note in to clarify that the children are invited.

NEVER, EVER WRITE "NO CHILDREN"!   If you don't want children, then don't write their names on the invitation.  If there is a misunderstanding, you will need to make a telephone call and say, "I'm sorry, but we didn't mean to invite the children."
httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
KatieinBklnNYCMercedesdoeydoMairePoppyJen4948dlz&jtmhaleyk620Annettejucanadianhearts

Re: How to address your wedding invitations

  • @ MairePoppy  Want to sticky this, too?
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • KatieinBklnKatieinBkln (NO SLEEP TIL) Brooklyn!
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    member
    Thank you for this! I'm starring it for when the time comes. 

    What is your take on how to address an invitation to a couple who does not live together (and if you don't have an inner envelope)? Just insert a little note like you would for plus-ones and children?
    image
    This baby knows exactly how I feel
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut
    Moderator Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mod
    Thank you, CMGragain. It's nice to have easy to find information for faqs.
                
  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited November 2014
    Thank you for this! I'm starring it for when the time comes. 

    What is your take on how to address an invitation to a couple who does not live together (and if you don't have an inner envelope)? Just insert a little note like you would for plus-ones and children?
    You could send them each their own invitation, or you could address it to both of them, but send it to the person whom you know the best.  Either is fine.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • As more states get with the program, I think this is an addressing issue that seriously needs to be....addressed. 
    Because Miss Manners and Cranes didn't have my answers, we had to wing it with my daughter's invites, using tradition, courtesy, and common sense as best we could. 
    Our thoughts- married couples on the same line, as is traditional. Unmarried on separate lines.
    Married:

    Mr. Adam Sassypants and Mr. Blake Sassypants

    Dr. (or Mrs.) Anastasia Smartass and Mrs. Elizabeth Smartass
    Unless, of course, Ms. is preferred. 

    And we went alphabetical, because.






    MairePoppyCMGragain
  • Th rules for same sex couples are exactly the same as for others.  Alphabetical is as good a choice as any.  I will add the information to my original post.  Thanks!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    MairePoppyohannabelle
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards