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Father/Daughter dance alternative

I have no relationship with my father and he isn't invited to our wedding. For the obvious reason I wanted to omit the father/daughter dance but my fiancé says I should dance with my mother or grandfather because he doesn't want to have a special dance with his mom if I don't have a special dance with a family member. His mother has done a lot for us and I want her to have her time to shine with her son. I'm not sure if replacing it with someone else would be more awkward than just skipping it. Suggestions please.

Re: Father/Daughter dance alternative

  • This is not your FI's call and he shouldn't pressure you when obviously this is difficult for you. You do not need to do anything, personally I would skip it. If your FI decides to skip his, fine. But he doesn't have to. His mom could walk with him down the aisle if HE wants to find an alternative.

  • Thank you. I'll suggest that to them. I think he just doesn't want me to feel left out.
  • Sugargirl1019Sugargirl1019 Deep in the Heart of Texas member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    Yea, you need to do what you feel is right for you, not what you're being pressured into doing. If you don't want to do a dance with grandfather because you're not THAT close with him, then don't. If you do want to because he has been special in your life then yes do it. Don't be pressure by your FI because he feels "awkward" having one dance. Just be respectful to him when you tell him to butt out :)

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    [Deleted User]
  • I agree. The spotlight dances are only done IF you want to do them.  But it is in no way awkward for you to have a dance with a different family member if your dad is not going to be part of the mix.  You get to dance with whomever you like.

  • If you are having a spotlight dance with your husband, you are most definitely NOT left out.  I applaud your FI for his considerate thoughts and desires for you, good start to a marriage.  Still, you do have to find your own comfort zone, and if a dance with a relative it outside of that box, then so be it.
    [Deleted User]
  • Skip.  My dad doesn't like being put on the spot.  So I gave him a hug.  Then I did first dance with H.  Then dance floor was open to party.  No one likes to sit through a bunch of boring dances anyway.
  • Do what YOU feel comfortable with. 

    I love my dad very much but decided not to do any spotlight dances other than the first dance with H, simply because I don't enjoy spotlight dances. No one missed it. 
  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    If I were to get married, I would dance with my mom, I think.  But, that is because I would want to.  If you do not want to dance with anyone, then don't.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    If you don't feel like doing spotlight dances with anyone other than your FI, then he should respect your decision.

    I'd tell your FI that this is a decision you need to make on your own.
  • I have the exact situation with my father, and i am just skipping it. He will have the mother/son dance, and then we will just move on
  • Is there another male in your life that has made a significant impact in your life?  Like a Godfather?  That's a tough call to make, but it is up to you.  Do what your heart tells you to do.
  • I have a similar situation with my father who is not invited or connected to the wedding at all. I was going to do a dance with my mom but we both don't love being the center of attention. So we decided to just pick a fun song during the dancing and make a point to dance with each other along with the full dance floor. This way we will have that moment together but it can just be ours and not everyone needs to be staring at us to make it a memory we will cherish :)
    My fiance also had a hard time with me not having a spotlight dance but when I explained I would rather have a moment with my mom this way, he understood :)
  • I was adamant I didn't want to dance with anyone since my dad passed away. Hold your ground...this isn't up for your FI to dictate.

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