Reception Ideas

BYO Reception Ideas

Hey ladies! My fiance and I just got engaged last weekend and we are so excited to start planning. I just need a little advice from other brides. 

We want to keep it small and intimate. We just bought our first home together so that will be the location. The guest list is under 100 - made up of close friends and family. The ceremony space is our back yard and the reception will be a combination of in and outdoors. 

We are asking that every one bring a dish and a drink/drinks for the night. We love how personal this touch will be. My only concern is what variety in food choices we will see. Should we post a sign up sheet or just trust our guests to talk amongst themselvesl and bring dishes that complement each other. 

Thanks! 

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Re: BYO Reception Ideas

  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    member
    edited November 2014
    Absolutely not. You are hosting your guests, they are not hosting you. Its not a personal touch, its tacky. "Please bring one dish for 100 people." Why should your guests have to cook? and have you cooked for 100 people? That's a ridiculous amount of work. No no. Absolutely not.

    And 100 guests is not small and/or intimate.

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    doeydofwtx5815adk19PrettyGirlLost
  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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    @tnvolgirl711 Have you thought about any of the questions posed here?
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
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    edited November 2014
    I'm sorry, but this is very rude. If you're going to have a wedding, you're the one that needs to provide food and refreshments, even if it's just cake and punch. You do not put the burden on your guests to basically fund and supply all the food for your wedding. 

    Your reception is a thank you to your guests for witnessing your ceremony. 

    Also, how would you go about keeping all of this food at the right temperature? What about food allergies? My husband is allergic to mango. How would he know if Aunt Susie decided to put mango in her salsa? What if you get 5 of the same dish, and no real entrees? What about set-up and clean up? Do you guests have to do this too? 

    doeydoadk19
  • DaniBitesDaniBites
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
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    edited November 2014

    This is a really bad idea. I hope that you will reconsider.

     

    I went to a potluck wedding once when I was little. By the time we got to the line, there was only chips left. Good thing because the guests who got there before us became violently ill about an hour into the reception. Potluck weddings can lead to all sorts of aweful things. Do not do this.

    This is especially risky since it will be in your house...God forbid a lot of your 100 guests get food poisoning and you only have one or two bathrooms available...

    Edited to add: image

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    KatWAGsarawifenowdoeydo
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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    edited November 2014
    Sorry, but as the answers before mine make clear, this isn't a good idea.

    It really isn't fair or polite to your guests to invite them to a reception, which is supposed to be a thank-you from you to them for attending your wedding, and then expect them to pay for their own thanks. 

    While elsewhere we explain that hosting doesn't equal paying, that doesn't include inviting guests and expecting them to pay for themselves by bringing their own provisions.  You're supposed to make sure that they get provisions they don't have to pay for.

    If the reason you want to do this is financial, then it's up to you to budget and plan a wedding that fits within your own financial resources, but doesn't require you to go into debt or ask others to pay the costs of hosting.  They can volunteer to do that, but etiquette holds that you can't go to anyone else and say "It's your job/role to pay" because it isn't.
    doeydo
  • If you really want a small, intimate wedding, invite 12 people and take them out for a nice dinner afterward. Nothing about your plan/idea is appropriate.

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    adk19
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!)
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
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    No.  No, no, no.  Awful idea.  A reception is a thank you to your guests for attending.  Do you always thank people by asking them to bring their own food?  There are so many things wrong with your plan, and asking people to bring food is just the beginning.

    If you can't afford to host YOUR guests, then you cut back the guest list or elope..  But you only invite the number of people you can afford to host PROPERLY.  

    atlastmrsgdoeydo
  • While i understand your concerns, logistically the house poses no issue. We really wanted a potluck/bbq laid back feel. We also discussed just inviting everyone over under the guise of a housewarming party and then surprising them with a backyard wedding. After reading all the heated responses i received, i think this seems more appropriate.
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya
    Moderator 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary
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    While i understand your concerns, logistically the house poses no issue. We really wanted a potluck/bbq laid back feel. We also discussed just inviting everyone over under the guise of a housewarming party and then surprising them with a backyard wedding. After reading all the heated responses i received, i think this seems more appropriate.
    You can very easily cater that with sandwiches or BBQ or something similar. Your guests should not, under any circumstance, provide for your wedding.

    You can definitely have a "laid back" feel without asking guests to proved food. Like PP says, you could get BBQ or even pizza. Get catering from a grocery store. I think people will be more laid back if they don't have to worry about whatever pot luck dish they brought - is it still at the temperature I should be at, I did it bring enough, is someone going to take my dish by accident - stuff like that.
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    mikenbergerdoeydojenijoyk
  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
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    To be fair to the OP, the way she wrote that reply sounds like she nixed the Surprise!Wedding! idea already.

    If you haven't OP. Nix it. Thats even worse. 

    Look. Your biggest issue here is logistics. In no way is 100 people potluck a good idea. Potlucks are best in small crowds, because nobody wants to make (and few can) that much food.

    Your options are either find cater something for 100 people or cut your guest list and do it yourself. As in you and your FI make food. Do not place it on your guests, and especially don't place it on them for 99 other fucking people.
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    Anniversary
    PrettyGirlLost
  • While i understand your concerns, logistically the house poses no issue. We really wanted a potluck/bbq laid back feel. We also discussed just inviting everyone over under the guise of a housewarming party and then surprising them with a backyard wedding. After reading all the heated responses i received, i think this seems more appropriate.
    You can still have a laid back wedding without asking your guests to pay to cater it.  Buy sandwiches, BBQ catering, etc. Don't asks your guests to pay for your party. Asking them to bring their own food is asking them to pay for it.  

    It's tacky, and rude.
    doeydoadk19PrettyGirlLost
  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    member



    While i understand your concerns, logistically the house poses no issue.

    We really wanted a potluck/bbq laid back feel. We also discussed just inviting everyone over under the guise of a housewarming party and then surprising them with a backyard wedding. After reading all the heated responses i received, i think this seems more appropriate.

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    Those little guys are so cute. Unfortunate that they're now associated with asshattery.

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    lc07PrettyGirlLost
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
    5000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    Hey ladies! My fiance and I just got engaged last weekend and we are so excited to start planning. I just need a little advice from other brides. 

    We want to keep it small and intimate. We just bought our first home together so that will be the location. The guest list is under 100 - made up of close friends and family. The ceremony space is our back yard and the reception will be a combination of in and outdoors. 

    We are asking that every one bring a dish and a drink/drinks for the night. We love how personal this touch will be. My only concern is what variety in food choices we will see. Should we post a sign up sheet or just trust our guests to talk amongst themselvesl and bring dishes that complement each other. 

    Thanks! 

    Sorry, this kind of idea doesn't go over well here.

    It is not a "personal touch" to ask people to bring food to an event that you are supposed to be hosting; it's a rude touch. A reception is a thank you to your guests for attending your wedding. You don't ask someone to bring their own thank you gift. 

    Look into local restaurants if you're trying to save money - Italian, Mexican, and BBQ are all cheap options. 
    Perhaps what she meant was that she wanted to "put the touch on" her guests.
    MairePoppy
  • While i understand your concerns, logistically the house poses no issue. We really wanted a potluck/bbq laid back feel. We also discussed just inviting everyone over under the guise of a housewarming party and then surprising them with a backyard wedding. After reading all the heated responses i received, i think this seems more appropriate.
    stupid stupid stupid. if someone did this to me i would not be their friend anymore. your better off going to the jp and not having a wedding at all. its rude to ask for people to bake for a party you are hosting and its also rude to trick people. just forget about doing anything and go to the jp. 
    image
    atlastmrsgPrettyGirlLost
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