Cash Bar

PrettyGirlLost

redoryx said:

Butterflyz419 said:

ohannabelle said:

It's rude because you are creating an uncomfortable and embarrassing situation for your guests when they go to get their drink, and are told "no." 

What? I can't even figure how even in the most unlikely scenario how this would be embarrassing for the guest, but feel free to give an outrageous hypothetical if you have one. If anyone would be subject to embarrassment it would be the host, not the guest, when the bartender explains that it's only non-alcoholic drinks for the rest of the night as the bar was limited. 

Your guest goes up to the bar and orders a drink. They are then told they need to pay up. The guest, not anticipating this, now has to either go back to their chair and dig money out of their purse or wallet if they brought cash with them. Not everyone does, so if they don't have money the guest has to ask OTHER GUESTS if they can borrow money and hope someone has enough to cover the cost of the drink.

You really don't see how that puts your guest in a very awkward and embarrassing position?

Maybe I'm an asshole, but I personally wouldn't go scrounging around for money.  I'd leave the drink on the bar and walk away and let the bartender/venue/couple sort it out.

Wjat are they going to do, call the cops over a single drink?  Go for it.

beethery

Knottie41717163 said:

I'm the OP. I couldn't keep up with all of the posts but I really appreciated the recent posts where people listed the examples where things went wrong. Lets just say... I'm a self made woman who clawed her way out of a lower socioeconomic status. So I was ok with the answer no that's poor etiquette but I knew it wouldn't matter at all to my family. So the examples were helpful. I've been to every type of bar at a wedding (cash, partially hosted, ect) and I've never had any problems but I'm also not the type that would hoard drinks and I don't drink much but I can see some guests hoarding drinks which isn't good.

Can't take you seriously because you created other posts for purpose of admitted trolling.

Bolded is irrelevant, so are most of the people on here.

theartistformerlyknownas

beethery said:

Knottie41717163 said:

I'm the OP. I couldn't keep up with all of the posts but I really appreciated the recent posts where people listed the examples where things went wrong. Lets just say... I'm a self made woman who clawed her way out of a lower socioeconomic status. So I was ok with the answer no that's poor etiquette but I knew it wouldn't matter at all to my family. So the examples were helpful. I've been to every type of bar at a wedding (cash, partially hosted, ect) and I've never had any problems but I'm also not the type that would hoard drinks and I don't drink much but I can see some guests hoarding drinks which isn't good.

Can't take you seriously because you created other posts for purpose of admitted trolling.

Bolded is irrelevant, so are most of the people on here.

Oh dammit, I can't keep the Knottie###s straight! 

Go away, troll. I tried to help you.

novella1186

lolo883 said:

beethery said:

Knottie41717163 said:

I'm the OP. I couldn't keep up with all of the posts but I really appreciated the recent posts where people listed the examples where things went wrong. Lets just say... I'm a self made woman who clawed her way out of a lower socioeconomic status. So I was ok with the answer no that's poor etiquette but I knew it wouldn't matter at all to my family. So the examples were helpful. I've been to every type of bar at a wedding (cash, partially hosted, ect) and I've never had any problems but I'm also not the type that would hoard drinks and I don't drink much but I can see some guests hoarding drinks which isn't good.

Can't take you seriously because you created other posts for purpose of admitted trolling.

Bolded is irrelevant, so are most of the people on here.

Oh dammit, I can't keep the Knottie###s straight! 

Go away, troll. I tried to help you.

Guys. I'm starting to think that two particular people are the same person with two different accounts. Tag-team trolling by themselves. 

PrettyGirlLost

beethery said:

Knottie41717163 said:

I'm the OP. I couldn't keep up with all of the posts but I really appreciated the recent posts where people listed the examples where things went wrong. Lets just say... I'm a self made woman who clawed her way out of a lower socioeconomic status. So I was ok with the answer no that's poor etiquette but I knew it wouldn't matter at all to my family. So the examples were helpful. I've been to every type of bar at a wedding (cash, partially hosted, ect) and I've never had any problems but I'm also not the type that would hoard drinks and I don't drink much but I can see some guests hoarding drinks which isn't good.

Can't take you seriously because you created other posts for purpose of admitted trolling.

Bolded is irrelevant, so are most of the people on here.

Well, I mean, I married rich sooooo. .. dos that count?

beethery

PrettyGirlLost said:

beethery said:

Knottie41717163 said:

I'm the OP. I couldn't keep up with all of the posts but I really appreciated the recent posts where people listed the examples where things went wrong. Lets just say... I'm a self made woman who clawed her way out of a lower socioeconomic status. So I was ok with the answer no that's poor etiquette but I knew it wouldn't matter at all to my family. So the examples were helpful. I've been to every type of bar at a wedding (cash, partially hosted, ect) and I've never had any problems but I'm also not the type that would hoard drinks and I don't drink much but I can see some guests hoarding drinks which isn't good.

Can't take you seriously because you created other posts for purpose of admitted trolling.

Bolded is irrelevant, so are most of the people on here.

Well, I mean, I married rich sooooo. .. dos that count?

Sure does!

lovegood90

novella1186 said:

lovegood90 said:

Knottie41717163 said:

I'm the OP. I couldn't keep up with all of the posts but I really appreciated the recent posts where people listed the examples where things went wrong. Lets just say... I'm a self made woman who clawed her way out of a lower socioeconomic status. So I was ok with the answer no that's poor etiquette but I knew it wouldn't matter at all to my family. So the examples were helpful. I've been to every type of bar at a wedding (cash, partially hosted, ect) and I've never had any problems but I'm also not the type that would hoard drinks and I don't drink much but I can see some guests hoarding drinks which isn't good.

You're still not getting it. Your reasoning for not having a cash bar should be because it's BAD HOSTING and RUDE to your guests, not because you're afraid that they'll take advantage and hoard drinks.

Considering how the rest of this thread went, I'd still call it a win that OP took those examples to heart and didn't come up with long, rambling, nonsensical arguments as to why it should still be OK to do a partially hosted bar. 

Yeah very true!

slothiegal

Knottie41717163 said: I'm the OP. I couldn't keep up with all of the posts but I really appreciated the recent posts where people listed the examples where things went wrong. Lets just say... I'm a self made woman who clawed her way out of a lower socioeconomic status. So I was ok with the answer no that's poor etiquette but I knew it wouldn't matter at all to my family. So the examples were helpful. I've been to every type of bar at a wedding (cash, partially hosted, ect) and I've never had any problems but I'm also not the type that would hoard drinks and I don't drink much but I can see some guests hoarding drinks which isn't good.

-------
Oh see, I guess there's the difference.  I never earned anything for myself, never worked hard for anything, and grew up with a silver spoon in my mouth in Detroit.  Also, my family members are pieces of shit, so I made sure to have an open bar because they just wouldn't love me otherwise.

Oh wait....no....

eta wtf boxes?

whovianstark

OP again.

 I was on my phone so I kept my last post brief and I think that led to some confusion and I just wanted to clarify.

For the socioeconomic part: I was just trying to keep my family situation vague. Please believe me I was not intending that to offend anyone. I know there are many people here who went through the same things (or worse) and were either raised with better etiquette or made the effort to learn. That is what I am trying to do here. I posted here to learn. All I meant by my post, is that since I am still learning it is one thing to say "no that's poor etiquette" but the example posts help me see why it could create problems for my guests and why that would be poor hosting.

For the hoarding the drinks part, that was just one example I liked. I now see it would make me a poor host because people would either not get enough to drink and be upset with those that hoarded, or they would feel like they have to hoard and maybe feel guilty later. Either way, that's on me as the host.

theartistformerlyknownas

Knottie41717163 said:

OP again.

 I was on my phone so I kept my last post brief and I think that led to some confusion and I just wanted to clarify.

For the socioeconomic part: I was just trying to keep my family situation vague. Please believe me I was not intending that to offend anyone. I know there are many people here who went through the same things (or worse) and were either raised with better etiquette or made the effort to learn. That is what I am trying to do here. I posted here to learn. All I meant by my post, is that since I am still learning it is one thing to say "no that's poor etiquette" but the example posts help me see why it could create problems for my guests and why that would be poor hosting.

For the hoarding the drinks part, that was just one example I liked. I now see it would make me a poor host because people would either not get enough to drink and be upset with those that hoarded, or they would feel like they have to hoard and maybe feel guilty later. Either way, that's on me as the host.

Well good!

And if you're not a troll, can you PLEASE change your username to something distinctive so we can keep track of who you are? I think there are instructions on the tech board.

whovianstark

This is the OP. Just changed my username, looks like it won't change my original posts but from here on out it should be easier.

whovianstark

GAH this is still the OP. I swear I'm not trollin'! I thought I had switched my username but I will tonight.

Cookie Pusher

beethery said:

Knottie41717163 said:

I'm the OP. I couldn't keep up with all of the posts but I really appreciated the recent posts where people listed the examples where things went wrong. Lets just say... I'm a self made woman who clawed her way out of a lower socioeconomic status. So I was ok with the answer no that's poor etiquette but I knew it wouldn't matter at all to my family. So the examples were helpful. I've been to every type of bar at a wedding (cash, partially hosted, ect) and I've never had any problems but I'm also not the type that would hoard drinks and I don't drink much but I can see some guests hoarding drinks which isn't good.

Can't take you seriously because you created other posts for purpose of admitted trolling.

Bolded is irrelevant, so are most of the people on here.

I think that was a different Knottie### that started that what do guests want thread and said they were trolling.

slothiegal

Cookie Pusher said:

beethery said:

Knottie41717163 said:

I'm the OP. I couldn't keep up with all of the posts but I really appreciated the recent posts where people listed the examples where things went wrong. Lets just say... I'm a self made woman who clawed her way out of a lower socioeconomic status. So I was ok with the answer no that's poor etiquette but I knew it wouldn't matter at all to my family. So the examples were helpful. I've been to every type of bar at a wedding (cash, partially hosted, ect) and I've never had any problems but I'm also not the type that would hoard drinks and I don't drink much but I can see some guests hoarding drinks which isn't good.

Can't take you seriously because you created other posts for purpose of admitted trolling.

Bolded is irrelevant, so are most of the people on here.

I think that was a different Knottie### that started that what do guests want thread and said they were trolling.

The danger of being a Knottie######  

(OP, if you're still having trouble chancing your username, feel free to PM a mod or post to the Tech board, someone should be able to help you out!)

beethery

slothiegal said:

Cookie Pusher said:

beethery said:

Knottie41717163 said:

I'm the OP. I couldn't keep up with all of the posts but I really appreciated the recent posts where people listed the examples where things went wrong. Lets just say... I'm a self made woman who clawed her way out of a lower socioeconomic status. So I was ok with the answer no that's poor etiquette but I knew it wouldn't matter at all to my family. So the examples were helpful. I've been to every type of bar at a wedding (cash, partially hosted, ect) and I've never had any problems but I'm also not the type that would hoard drinks and I don't drink much but I can see some guests hoarding drinks which isn't good.

Can't take you seriously because you created other posts for purpose of admitted trolling.

Bolded is irrelevant, so are most of the people on here.

I think that was a different Knottie### that started that what do guests want thread and said they were trolling.

The danger of being a Knottie######  

(OP, if you're still having trouble chancing your username, feel free to PM a mod or post to the Tech board, someone should be able to help you out!)

Yup. My bad!

whovianstark

Yay! It looks like my username is changed now! I think it just took a while to update or something.

theartistformerlyknownas

whovianstark said:

Yay! It looks like my username is changed now! I think it just took a while to update or something.

Yay! Stick around. Lots of cool chicks (and dudes) here with lots of experience to help you with things you might not have witnessed before or thought about. And I do believe lots of Dr. Who lovers! (although I haven't gotten on that wagon just yet.)

Viczaesar

So, speaking of booze, I had a delicious cocktail tonight.  It was some kind of specialty vodka, cointreau, freshly squeezed blood orange pulp, and fresh lime juice.  It was not too sweet and had a strong booze presence (but not too strong) and absolutely fabulous.  Plus it was a pretty color.  Win/win/win!

novella1186

whovianstark! 

tammym1001

PrettyGirlLost said:

tammym1001 said:

Butterflyz419 said:

ohannabelle said:

It's rude because you are creating an uncomfortable and embarrassing situation for your guests when they go to get their drink, and are told "no." 

What? I can't even figure how even in the most unlikely scenario how this would be embarrassing for the guest, but feel free to give an outrageous hypothetical if you have one. If anyone would be subject to embarrassment it would be the host, not the guest, when the bartender explains that it's only non-alcoholic drinks for the rest of the night as the bar was limited. 

I don't have an outrageous hypothetical, but I have a real life situation that happened at a wedding I attended:

DH went to the bar and ordered us both a mixed drink. When he came back to the table he told me to drink it slow because those two drinks cost $24! Someone at our table overheard him and when the groom came by to greet us the other person said something along the lines of "holy shit dude those two drinks cost $24! That's crazy!"

I was embarrassed that someone had overheard DH complaining about the cost of the drinks and I was even more embarrassed for the groom that someone said something to him about it. It was a very uncomfortable situation for everyone involved. 

Good on them!

What did the Groom say?

He stammered a little bit and was like uhhhh and my DH quickly changed the subject to try to lessen the embarrassment. 

mrstrevor3

whovianstark said:

So it would still be considered a cash bar even if you are covering all of their drinks up to $2000 (or whatever?) The weddings I've been to before I got plenty to drink with the $2000 tab.  I'd just prefer not to have any surprises after my wedding.

It's called a "capped bar"

The hosts will decide on an amount of money they want to spend for the bar, a lot of places have minimums set in place. If the hosts do it right the guests will never have to pay for a thing. Some people are scared of way overpaying for the bar because they have under estimated their guests appetite  for alcohol.

IDK, I'm having a complete open bar....I have just heard of this.

mrstrevor3

southernbelle0915 said:

A cash bar in any form is against etiquette. Basically, if your guests are opening their wallets for anything, there's something wrong from an etiquette perspective. If you have a low budget, see if your venue would work with you to just host beer and wine. Or just a signature cocktail. Or have a dry wedding - there's nothing wrong with that.

Not if you make sure to set a high enough cap so that there is no possible way that their guest would drink that much.

Liatris2010

mrstrevor3 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

A cash bar in any form is against etiquette. Basically, if your guests are opening their wallets for anything, there's something wrong from an etiquette perspective. If you have a low budget, see if your venue would work with you to just host beer and wine. Or just a signature cocktail. Or have a dry wedding - there's nothing wrong with that.

Not if you make sure to set a high enough cap so that there is no possible way that their guest would drink that much.

Well, if that is the case it wouldn't be a cash bar. AND if you set the limit that high, you aren't saving any money. When venues set their open bar price, they have a pretty good idea of how much people will drink and what to charge to still make a profit. If you do a capped bar well above what your guests can drink, you actually just did a consumption bar, which is etiquette approved.

LadyMillil

Liatris2010 said:

mrstrevor3 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

A cash bar in any form is against etiquette. Basically, if your guests are opening their wallets for anything, there's something wrong from an etiquette perspective. If you have a low budget, see if your venue would work with you to just host beer and wine. Or just a signature cocktail. Or have a dry wedding - there's nothing wrong with that.

Not if you make sure to set a high enough cap so that there is no possible way that their guest would drink that much.

Well, if that is the case it wouldn't be a cash bar. AND if you set the limit that high, you aren't saving any money. When venues set their open bar price, they have a pretty good idea of how much people will drink and what to charge to still make a profit. If you do a capped bar well above what your guests can drink, you actually just did a consumption bar, which is etiquette approved.

I have a friend that did this. She set a low cap based on how much she thought the guests would drink and a high cap based on the maximum they could afford. I know they reached the low cap with 15 minutes left in the reception so they did last call and closed the bar. She said the high cap was really high and very unlikely to be reached so I think she just had the low cap so she would be informed when they reached it to try to eliminate end of night bar bill surprises.

WinstonsGirl

Our venue made us do a capped bar.  We said no cap, it's an open bar.  Our coordinator suggested we set a limit to be notified of as many couple in the past had said no limit and then freaked when they got the bill, or hit the "limit".  We finally set a number to keep her happy, but planned on telling them to keep serving anyway.  We never reached our number.