Snarky Brides

Planning a wedding brings out the real bitch in some people

theycallmelinztheycallmelinz Georgia
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edited November 2014 in Snarky Brides
One of my BMs (we'll call her Jessica) is also a BM in another wedding a month before mine. That bride (lets call her Leslie) was a mutual friend of me and Jessica in college, but me and Leslie kind of drifted apart over the years. I'm invited to her wedding and she is to mine, but we aren't BFFs anymore. Me and a handful of my BMs that could make it went to find bridesmaid dresses for them this weekend. I was talking to them to get an idea of what they liked/didn't like/would feel comfortable in. I knew a strapless dress is out of the question because several of my girls are very well blessed in the breast department, and strapless bras-no matter how fancy, just don't cut it for them. While discussing our options, Jessica tells me that she has to 'figure out a way' to wear the bm dress Leslie picked out for her wedding, because it's one-shoulder and not very supportive up top. Jessica goes on to tell me about their appointment to find bridesmaid dresses, and that at the end of that appointment, she(Jessica) was crying in the dressing room because her breasts are so large that she felt uncomfortable in almost all of the dresses Leslie picked out. It's important to note that Leslie is also big-chested, so she (should) understand what this is like. Leslie also said she does not want Jessica to wear a bra with clear straps, because you will still be able to see those. Jessica made a comment about how she had considered breast-reduction surgery, and perhaps she could have that done in January to have enough recovery time before Leslie's wedding. Leslie's response: "Well it's up to you, but you just do what you need to to fit in the dress."

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
I almost lost my mind. The thought of Jessica crying in a dressing room during something that should be FUN broke my heart, and then I wanted to hunt Leslie down and punch her in the face. And maybe Leslie didn't realize how upset Jessica was, but please take your bridesmaids' opinions into consideration at least. No, you can't please everyone and yes it is your wedding, but you should at least want your girls to be comfortable. I was absolutely outraged, especially at the face that Leslie thinks it's no big deal for Jessica to have a major surgery with 6 weeks recovery time just to look good in her wedding.

I don't know, maybe I'm over-reacting. I'm just super close to Jessica and it really hurt me to know her feelings had been hurt like that, and Leslie doesn't seem to care. Bitches.  
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Re: Planning a wedding brings out the real bitch in some people

  • I'm a DD/DDD, I'm in a wedding with a bunch of As and Bs. The bride picked strapless dresses that come with attachable "shoe string" straps. No seriously, that's what they're called. And everyone went "OMG straps yay this is perfect!!" um...no. These are not straps. 

    So I found some other strap options for myself, showed the bride what they looked like and very patiently explained that I needed real straps so I could wear a real bra because strapless at my size is a fucking bitch. It took some doing, she didn't get it since some of the girls aren't even doing bras as there is enough boning in the dress to hold them up. That nice. And she'd seen strapless bras in bigger sizes. Yes, they exist, they're hardly supportive and uncomfortable as hell, but yeah they exist. Finally she looked through my pictures and decided one version looked awesome and she really liked it.

    I got my straps. When I finally pick girls I hope I can keep in mind different body types and comfort levels. Cause it's just a fucking dress. I'd rather my friends feel awesome then everyone where the exact same dress and look exactly the same and whatever else is supposed to be achieved from everyone dressing identically.
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  • peachy13peachy13 in my cubicle, doing very important work
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    I applaud you for going shopping with your BMs to see what they like and feel comfortable in. I plan on doing the same for my wedding. I was in a wedding over the summer and the bride picked BM dresses that sound a lot like Leslie's BM dresses. One shoulder and no support up top (and ungodly expensive but that's not the point). Needless to say, one of my boobs was nearly popping out the entire night... classy. Maybe Jessica has been interested in getting this surgery for a while and the thought of her doing it soon may be stressing her out and making her anxious. Can't say I blame her... but she's really lucky to have a friend in you!
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  • Many brides get through a whole wedding without bringing out "the real bitch" - this chick just isn't considerate. Being a bride hasn't changed her - she's probably never nice to her friends and cares only about herself.
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  • theycallmelinztheycallmelinz Georgia
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    abbyj700 said:
    Many brides get through a whole wedding without bringing out "the real bitch" - this chick just isn't considerate. Being a bride hasn't changed her - she's probably never nice to her friends and cares only about herself.
    You're absolutely right. I will be changing the title of this thread, because this definitely doesn't define all brides, or nice people in general. 
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  • lmcooper86lmcooper86 Toronto
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    What the actual fuck? "Do what you need to fit into this dress that I have chosen, even if that means having major surgery"? I applaud you for NOT finding this girl and smacking her, that's absolutely insane.

    This is exactly why I'm picking a designer (who has dresses available in the price range my BMs gave me) and colour, and telling them to pick whatever style they like. Unless your entire bridal party is a bunch of clones, the same dress isn't going to look good on everyone. WHY would you decide on a dress that reduces someone to tears because it straight up does not fit/support them? UGH.

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  • theycallmelinztheycallmelinz Georgia
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    What the actual fuck? "Do what you need to fit into this dress that I have chosen, even if that means having major surgery"? I applaud you for NOT finding this girl and smacking her, that's absolutely insane.

    This is exactly why I'm picking a designer (who has dresses available in the price range my BMs gave me) and colour, and telling them to pick whatever style they like. Unless your entire bridal party is a bunch of clones, the same dress isn't going to look good on everyone. WHY would you decide on a dress that reduces someone to tears because it straight up does not fit/support them? UGH.

    Exactly! I chose these girls because I LOVE them and the last thing I want to do is make them sad or uncomfortable. I get pissed off all over again just thinking about this. Also just found out one of my BM's is pregnant, and will be about 6 mos. along when the wedding gets here. God forbid one of Leslie's BMs gets pregnant before the wedding... 
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  • It sounds like this other bride is over the top. But at the same time your mutual friend and BM kind of needs to stand up for herself and express that she is not comfortable. If she wants breast reduction, that's fine, but she certainly shouldn't be doing it to be a bridesmaid. 

    Even women with similar body types don't have the same comfort level. I was in a wedding where cleavage seemed to be the main ingredient, including in the bride's gown and the mother of the bride's gown (I am a C, they are D-DD). I wore a lace cami under my dress during the ceremony because, though I'm not demure, I was afraid of my nipple popping out during the church ceremony in the dress the bride picked. The bride didn't really like that I wore that cami, and her nipple did pop out during the father-daughter dance. It didn't seem to bother her, I think that family just likes to see boobs. 
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  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago
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    Leslie does sounds like she sucks at  life. But if Jessica is so upset about this she should stand up for herself and tell her friend how she feels. Leslie is supposed to be her friend. I am going to give Leslie the benefit of the doubt, and hope that she was so wrapped up in her "vision" that she ddi realize how upset Jessica was.

    But I will agree with Leslie that clear bra strap are the worst. They stand out more than regular bra nude bra straps. And I would be tempted to ask my BM to refrain from wear the clear straps.

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  • esstee33 said:
    It sounds like this other bride is over the top. But at the same time your mutual friend and BM kind of needs to stand up for herself and express that she is not comfortable. If she wants breast reduction, that's fine, but she certainly shouldn't be doing it to be a bridesmaid. 

    Even women with similar body types don't have the same comfort level. I was in a wedding where cleavage seemed to be the main ingredient, including in the bride's gown and the mother of the bride's gown (I am a C, they are D-DD). I wore a lace cami under my dress during the ceremony because, though I'm not demure, I was afraid of my nipple popping out during the church ceremony in the dress the bride picked. The bride didn't really like that I wore that cami, and her nipple did pop out during the father-daughter dance. It didn't seem to bother her, I think that family just likes to see boobs. 
    What. the. fuck. 

    THERE IS NO PLACE IN A WEDDING FOR NIPPLES. 
    I mean, I wouldn't have thought so. I wonder if the photographer captured my face when the nip popped out and she didn't seem to notice as she waltzed with her dad. 
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  • It sounds like this other bride is over the top. But at the same time your mutual friend and BM kind of needs to stand up for herself and express that she is not comfortable. If she wants breast reduction, that's fine, but she certainly shouldn't be doing it to be a bridesmaid. 

    Even women with similar body types don't have the same comfort level. I was in a wedding where cleavage seemed to be the main ingredient, including in the bride's gown and the mother of the bride's gown (I am a C, they are D-DD). I wore a lace cami under my dress during the ceremony because, though I'm not demure, I was afraid of my nipple popping out during the church ceremony in the dress the bride picked. The bride didn't really like that I wore that cami, and her nipple did pop out during the father-daughter dance. It didn't seem to bother her, I think that family just likes to see boobs. 
    It ain't a party until a tit pops out, right?

    I'm so classy.

    Seriously, though, that's gross.  And during the father daughter dance....that's gross to the power of a thousand grossnesses.
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    esstee33theartistformerlyknownasBubblegum5586[Deleted User]
  • larrygagalarrygaga Czechoslovakia
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    Your friend probably should think about dropping out of the wedding instead of getting a surgery to fit into the dress. Since when do you alter your body to fit a dress? You alter the dress to fit your body, is what you do. 
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  • larrygagalarrygaga Czechoslovakia
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    esstee33 said:
    It sounds like this other bride is over the top. But at the same time your mutual friend and BM kind of needs to stand up for herself and express that she is not comfortable. If she wants breast reduction, that's fine, but she certainly shouldn't be doing it to be a bridesmaid. 

    Even women with similar body types don't have the same comfort level. I was in a wedding where cleavage seemed to be the main ingredient, including in the bride's gown and the mother of the bride's gown (I am a C, they are D-DD). I wore a lace cami under my dress during the ceremony because, though I'm not demure, I was afraid of my nipple popping out during the church ceremony in the dress the bride picked. The bride didn't really like that I wore that cami, and her nipple did pop out during the father-daughter dance. It didn't seem to bother her, I think that family just likes to see boobs. 
    What. the. fuck. 

    THERE IS NO PLACE IN A WEDDING FOR NIPPLES. 
    There sure is but it's at the end of the night in bed with your spouse. 
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    beetheryesstee33novella1186SarahWins
  • BSC sis was this kind of bride. When I said that I wasn't comfortable wearing the dress she picked she lost it and rambled on about her wedding vision and that this was the dress she wanted and that if I wouldn't wear it I couldn't be in her wedding and clearly didn't care about her. 

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  • Wow. That is such a horrible way to treat anyone, let alone a close friend. 

    This is exactly why I told my BMs to go pick their own dress. One of them is very large-chested, another hates her hips and tries to hide them, one is very tall, one is very short, etc. There was no way to make them all comfortable in the exact same dress. So I wanted them to get any dress that made them comfortable. I guess that's weird of me, to care more about how they feel and their comfort than I do about my Grand Vision. 
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  • tammym1001tammym1001 Akron, Ohio
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    While I agree that a bride should take into consideration what her BM's will be comfortable in, I don't think the bride is completely in the wrong here. I'm a DD and it would never occur to me that someone with big boobs would be uncomfortable in a strapless dress. I wear strapless stuff all the time without a problem. Someone would have to tell me that they weren't comfortable before we started trying on dresses or else I would have no clue.

    Also, your friend is the one that said she wanted breast reduction and could get it before the wedding. It isn't like the bride told her to do that. 

    I feel bad for your friend, but she really should have said something about the dresses before she was having a breakdown in the dressing room. 
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  • theycallmelinztheycallmelinz Georgia
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    While I agree that a bride should take into consideration what her BM's will be comfortable in, I don't think the bride is completely in the wrong here. I'm a DD and it would never occur to me that someone with big boobs would be uncomfortable in a strapless dress. I wear strapless stuff all the time without a problem. Someone would have to tell me that they weren't comfortable before we started trying on dresses or else I would have no clue.

    Also, your friend is the one that said she wanted breast reduction and could get it before the wedding. It isn't like the bride told her to do that. 

    I feel bad for your friend, but she really should have said something about the dresses before she was having a breakdown in the dressing room. 
    Probably should have mentioned this because it's important and your point makes sense, but Jessica did tell Leslie before-hand that strapless wouldn't work because she's a size G. And Leslie kept saying they would find one that would work, but they never did, so Leslie just picked the one she liked best, and that's when Jessica got upset in the dressing room. And Jessica wasn't necessarily upset by Leslie's actions, Jessica is upset that her body type is preventing her from being comfortable/looking decent in the dress Leslie wants. I'm more pissed at Leslie for not being sensitive to this, and encouraging Jessica and making her think it's necessary to have a major surgery for her wedding.  
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  • tammym1001tammym1001 Akron, Ohio
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    While I agree that a bride should take into consideration what her BM's will be comfortable in, I don't think the bride is completely in the wrong here. I'm a DD and it would never occur to me that someone with big boobs would be uncomfortable in a strapless dress. I wear strapless stuff all the time without a problem. Someone would have to tell me that they weren't comfortable before we started trying on dresses or else I would have no clue.

    Also, your friend is the one that said she wanted breast reduction and could get it before the wedding. It isn't like the bride told her to do that. 

    I feel bad for your friend, but she really should have said something about the dresses before she was having a breakdown in the dressing room. 
    Probably should have mentioned this because it's important and your point makes sense, but Jessica did tell Leslie before-hand that strapless wouldn't work because she's a size G. And Leslie kept saying they would find one that would work, but they never did, so Leslie just picked the one she liked best, and that's when Jessica got upset in the dressing room. And Jessica wasn't necessarily upset by Leslie's actions, Jessica is upset that her body type is preventing her from being comfortable/looking decent in the dress Leslie wants. I'm more pissed at Leslie for not being sensitive to this, and encouraging Jessica and making her think it's necessary to have a major surgery for her wedding.  
    Yeah if she told her beforehand then that bride is being a bitch. She should have found something that would work for her.
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  • theycallmelinztheycallmelinz Georgia
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    edited November 2014
    While I agree that a bride should take into consideration what her BM's will be comfortable in, I don't think the bride is completely in the wrong here. I'm a DD and it would never occur to me that someone with big boobs would be uncomfortable in a strapless dress. I wear strapless stuff all the time without a problem. Someone would have to tell me that they weren't comfortable before we started trying on dresses or else I would have no clue.

    Also, your friend is the one that said she wanted breast reduction and could get it before the wedding. It isn't like the bride told her to do that. 

    I feel bad for your friend, but she really should have said something about the dresses before she was having a breakdown in the dressing room. 
    Probably should have mentioned this because it's important and your point makes sense, but Jessica did tell Leslie before-hand that strapless wouldn't work because she's a size G. And Leslie kept saying they would find one that would work, but they never did, so Leslie just picked the one she liked best, and that's when Jessica got upset in the dressing room. And Jessica wasn't necessarily upset by Leslie's actions, Jessica is upset that her body type is preventing her from being comfortable/looking decent in the dress Leslie wants. I'm more pissed at Leslie for not being sensitive to this, and encouraging Jessica and making her think it's necessary to have a major surgery for her wedding.  
    Yeah if she told her beforehand then that bride is being a bitch. She should have found something that would work for her.
    Yeah I'm more upset at Leslie's seemingly 'whatever' attitude. Because had this happened at my bridal appointment, I would have hugged Jessica and said YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL regardless of your bra size and we sure as hell aren't picking a dress that makes you feel less than perfect.

    ETA: And we didn't. We found fabulous dresses that she and everyone else loved and looked amazing in.
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  • It's so funny that people with all kinds of different sizes aren't happy with their size.  I'm an A/B and I can frequently go bra-less and wear all kinds of strapless stuff without any issue, but I've ALWAYS wanted bigger boobs. And all my friends with D cups are like omg I wish I was smaller! haha!
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  • theycallmelinztheycallmelinz Georgia
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    It's so funny that people with all kinds of different sizes aren't happy with their size.  I'm an A/B and I can frequently go bra-less and wear all kinds of strapless stuff without any issue, but I've ALWAYS wanted bigger boobs. And all my friends with D cups are like omg I wish I was smaller! haha!
    True story. I'm like, "Your boobs are huge? That's the best problem to have!" lol 
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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake
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    It's so funny that people with all kinds of different sizes aren't happy with their size.  I'm an A/B and I can frequently go bra-less and wear all kinds of strapless stuff without any issue, but I've ALWAYS wanted bigger boobs. And all my friends with D cups are like omg I wish I was smaller! haha!
    Truth. Though I'm a barely-A and haven't worn strapless in like, 5 years. 

    I really wish and hope the mismatched trend truly becomes the norm.  I'm finding either one of two things happen with matching dresses. 1) The "flatters everyone" dress is strapless and rouched at the empire waist and flowy to hide all perceived flaws, or 2) with a variety of women wearing the same dress you really notice the women who look better in the chosen dress than others. I very much hate to say number 2, but it's true. You have someone like me who doesn't fill out a dress at all, you have women whose cups runneth over, and then everyone has the "perfect" friend who just rocks the dress. I really like to see everyone looking amazing in whatever cut they chose than have 1 of 5 women looking perfect with the other 4 looking uncomfortable. 
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    novella1186short+sassyBubblegum5586
  • It's so funny that people with all kinds of different sizes aren't happy with their size.  I'm an A/B and I can frequently go bra-less and wear all kinds of strapless stuff without any issue, but I've ALWAYS wanted bigger boobs. And all my friends with D cups are like omg I wish I was smaller! haha!
    Truth. Though I'm a barely-A and haven't worn strapless in like, 5 years. 

    I really wish and hope the mismatched trend truly becomes the norm.  I'm finding either one of two things happen with matching dresses. 1) The "flatters everyone" dress is strapless and rouched at the empire waist and flowy to hide all perceived flaws, or 2) with a variety of women wearing the same dress you really notice the women who look better in the chosen dress than others. I very much hate to say number 2, but it's true. You have someone like me who doesn't fill out a dress at all, you have women whose cups runneth over, and then everyone has the "perfect" friend who just rocks the dress. I really like to see everyone looking amazing in whatever cut they chose than have 1 of 5 women looking perfect with the other 4 looking uncomfortable. 
    Yep. Could not agree with this more. For the wedding I was in, every time I looked at the photos of all us bridesmaids I would inadvertently compare things like our boob sizes, cuz some of us were totally spilling out and then others barely filled out the top and then yeah there was that perfect chick who looked awesome in it. When you put way different women in the exact same dress they're going to get compared even if that's wrong. When they all get to wear a dress they can rock as an individual, there's no comparison cuz everyone just looks awesome. 
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  • KahlylaKahlyla Moncton, NB
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    Leslie sure sounds like a real prize, but just in case this helps anyone:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Av4ZQT0D1M&index=1&list=LLjN08LxS8jOe3mlsRgL81zg

    It includes options for wearing a bra with a one-shouldered dress. I'm about an E cup and thought a lot of this was rather brilliant!
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  • Ugh what a piece of work.

    I also hope the matchy bridesmaid trend is on its last breath. I really think they look so much better in different dresses! From barely A to H cup to a nursing mom, my girls each got to show a little personality and were all comfortable and loved their dresses.

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    hellohkbnovella1186penguin44aleighbaker
  • This is why I'm telling my bridesmaids to pick their own dresses. I want them to pick a dress that works with their body and personal style! I don't get when brides get lIke that.


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  • @Lolo - the bridesmaid farthest to the left has The Most Amazing Shoes on!!! I love that everyone found a dress and shoes they liked! But that girl has serious shoe game.
  • JenLD2015 said:

    @Lolo - the bridesmaid farthest to the left has The Most Amazing Shoes on!!! I love that everyone found a dress and shoes they liked! But that girl has serious shoe game.

    That's my SIL from NYC. I'll let her know you said that. :)

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  • @Lolo - the bridesmaid farthest to the left has The Most Amazing Shoes on!!! I love that everyone found a dress and shoes they liked! But that girl has serious shoe game.
    That's my SIL from NYC. I'll let her know you said that. :)
    Also, I love the dresses! I'd be chomping at the bit to find excuses to wear everyone of those dresses again. They are so cute.
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