Early Save the Dates?

ajabara

Hi all,

I am currently about 20 months away from our wedding and we already have the venue and date booked (it's destination, so we wanted to be efficient). Recently, a few of our friends and family members have been getting engaged, and we would like everyone to know not to choose our date (is that paranoid? It might be a little paranoid...). My question is, how early is too early to send a Save the Date? Would 16 months early be too much? Do you have suggestions for other ways to let people know early?

Thanks!

NicRen17

I believe average is 6 months to send out Save the Dates. For a destination wedding, I would go with 9 months to a year. 16 months would probably be too early. 

mikenberger

WAY TOO EARLY. Definitely spread the date by word of mouth but 6-8 months ahead of the wedding is appropriate. If you have a lot of people traveling or a destination wedding then yes, 12-9 months is acceptable. 16 months is way too early.

mikenberger

And yes, its paranoid. You do not dictate the wedding dates of others.

huskypuppy14

It's find to tell your VIPs by word of mouth or email. But wait for the STD till at least a year out if not 9 months. 6-9 months before the wedding is the norm.

lyndausvi

There is not stopping you from telling your VIPs your date.   I would send out the STD 9-12 months out.

Remember anyone who gets a STD MUST be invited to the wedding.    With 20 months out something could happen on your end financially and you would still be stuck inviting everyone.   

Just something else to think about.  We have seen a lot of couple get so excited they send the STD out way too early and then something happens and they are stuck with a bigger guest list then they can now afford.

fwtx5815

Also try to keep in mind that you can't call dibs on a wedding month or even wedding weekend (re: paranoid remarks).

Just tell the people closest to you. If you informally tell EVERYONE, it will sort of come off like you're trying to mark your territory which isn't cool.

ReginaLambert13

If the people you know that are getting engaged are close friends than I would just mention the date to them in person.  I just picked my date not too long ago and I would have been crushed if I'd found out later that I'd picked the same date as a good friend.

I personally would just mention the date to everyone that is VVVIP as I talked to them.  For me, that's a pretty big percent of the guest list but that's because we're only having about 45 people total.  So for our wedding next sept we are sending out STDs in a month or so and I've already told the girls I plan to ask to be BMs (though I haven't asked anyone yet) and my immediate family.

I wouldn't send cards yet, but if you're sending holiday cards out then you could mention maybe the month at least in a casual way.  Like, "X and I are engaged (if you haven't been engaged long and announced formally elsewhere) and starting to plan our wedding for [month, year]."  Be careful not to make it sound like an invitation unless you only send it to those you know 100% you will invite (and even then be careful because a few people I would have invited a year ago I am now not) but in a holiday card everyone sends out general life updates so it would be a relatively safe place to mention it.  Then if someone sees it and they are planning something around the same time they might ask you about your date.  It's not foolproof but it's better than nothing and if you already send out cards then it's no extra effort.

[Deleted User]

Too early to send save the dates because if something happens and you need to make changes to your guest list, your stuck once the STD have been sent out. I would probably just let family & friend know word of mouth when talking to them. Chances are with the holidays coming up when you see family you'll be asked "have you set a wedding date yet?" which will give you the perfect window to go, "The wedding is on xxxxx, make sure you leave the date free and it's going to be a destination wedding at xxxxx"

Not only then will people be aware of it, the people you want to come can start to plan accordingly for vacation with saving up money & planning for their vacation time. But I wouldn't send out your official STD until you have less then 12 months to go. Or depending on when your ceremony is, no later then the October before you are getting married. I know many companies, especially factories & hospitals in my area, the staff have to have their vacation requests in for the next year by the end of November.

badbnagdway

Erikan73, a million people are going to ask you if you have set a date yet/how wedding planning is going if you are recently engaged. Very good opportunity to say, "It's going really well, our date is X and we are so excited!"

Our engagement is only going to be about eight months or so long but as soon as we had a date I told my VIPs -- my immediate family and best friends. Our wedding is in about five months and we are getting our save the dates ready to go out in the next couple weeks (before the end of December).

fwtx5815

ReginaLambert13 said:

If the people you know that are getting engaged are close friends than I would just mention the date to them in person.  I just picked my date not too long ago and I would have been crushed if I'd found out later that I'd picked the same date as a good friend.

I personally would just mention the date to everyone that is VVVIP as I talked to them.  For me, that's a pretty big percent of the guest list but that's because we're only having about 45 people total.  So for our wedding next sept we are sending out STDs in a month or so and I've already told the girls I plan to ask to be BMs (though I haven't asked anyone yet) and my immediate family.

and I wouldn't send cards yet, but if you're sending holiday cards out then you could mention maybe the month at least in a casual way.  Like, "X and I are engaged (if you haven't been engaged long and announced formally elsewhere) and starting to plan our wedding for [month, year]."  Be careful not to make it sound like an invitation unless you only send it to those you know 100% you will invite (and even then be careful because a few people I would have invited a year ago I am now not) but in a holiday card everyone sends out general life updates so it would be a relatively safe place to mention it.  Then if someone sees it and they are planning something around the same time they might ask you about your date.  It's not foolproof but it's better than nothing and if you already send out cards then it's no extra effort.

I would be really careful with the bolded. I would think these life updates would be sent to those you speak with less frequently and it wouldn't be a good idea to mention the wedding at all if you aren't 100% sure about whether they'll make the guest list cut.