Bridesmaid Dress Guilt

dragonavicious

Okay so I went with the whole "everyone wear whatever they want" shtick. I picked a dark teal color and preferred long, satin dresses but my bridesmaids all wanted to go and try on dresses together. We went to David's Bridal first and they asked me and my sister/MOH (who is a wedding dress consultant) to pick out some dresses we thought would look good on them. I picked different styles, they tried them on, and they ended up picking the ones we thought they would. One of my BMs "Amy" loved her dress so much she didn't want to take it off. 

Well recently Amy was talking about how she's in another wedding and that bride wants her to wear a specific 200 dollar dress (the dress for my wedding was 180). She said she's not upset about my dress costing that much at all but that this bride was just having a courthouse wedding and a reception the following week so she's not sure why she even needed bridesmaids or coordinating colors... but she also told me she had to borrow money from her mom to pay for my bridesmaids dress and that she's a little strapped for cash right now. 

So now I feel really guilty like I forced them into the dresses when all I wanted was for them to pick them themselves. I'm terrified of being a bridezilla. So do you guys think I'm over thinking it or that I shouldn't have suggested that dress to her? 

hellohkb

I think it's super sweet that you are concerned about your BM. Your heart is in the right place. However, you did not make her buy the dress- She loved it and chose to buy it. You did not force her push her, or require that dress. Don't stress it.

Maggie0829

It is nice that you are concerned.  It shows that you care more about your friends then your wedding vision.  But like PP said, you didn't force Amy to buy anything.  She decided that all on her own.  Just because she is pissed that she had to buy a dress for a party where she shouldn't have even been a BM since it won't be the actual wedding is not your problem.  She could have said no to that bride or she could have told that bride that the price was too much.  But she didn't.  So now it is on her to deal with the financial aspect.

peachy13

Of the two weddings that Amy is in, it sounds like you're far from being a bridezilla. I think it's awesome that you let your BMs pretty much pick out their dresses (I am doing this as well) and that you're so concerned for your friend's financial situation. Being in a wedding is pricey and it's very nice that you're concerned, but don't feel guilty.

[Deleted User]

I think you're being a great Bride. She loves the dress you helped her find that met your color & length requirement. David's Bridal has a nice variety of dresses in a variety of prices. Keep going the way you are and you'll be a great bride and friend to your BM.

nicole4793

You're being so sweet. Since you told them any style but a certain color, she could've picked a cheaper dress if she wanted to. I think you're fine; don't worry too much about it!

CMGragain

dragonavicious said:

Okay so I went with the whole "everyone where whatever they want" shtick. I picked a dark teal color and preferred long, satin dresses but my bridesmaids all wanted to go and try on dresses together. We went to David's Bridal first and they asked me and my sister/MOH (who is a wedding dress consultant) to pick out some dresses we thought would look good on them. I picked different styles, they tried them on, and they ended up picking the ones we thought they would. One of my BMs "Amy" loved her dress so much she didn't want to take it off. 

Well recently Amy was talking about how she's in another wedding and that bride wants her to wear a specific 200 dollar dress (the dress for my wedding was 180). She said she's not upset about my dress costing that much at all but that this bride was just having a courthouse wedding and a reception the following week so she's not sure why she even needed bridesmaids or coordinating colors... but she also told me she had to borrow money from her mom to pay for my bridesmaids dress and that she's a little strapped for cash right now. 

So now I feel really guilty like I forced them into the dresses when all I wanted was for them to pick them themselves. I'm terrified of being a bridezilla. So do you guys think I'm over thinking it or that I shouldn't have suggested that dress to her? 

Bride #2 is being totally tacky.  You can't have a wedding reception a week after your wedding, and courthouse weddings do not usually have bridal parties at all, much less fancy dressed ones!
How nice that she loved the dress she is buying for your wedding!  You should feel very good about yourself.

dragonavicious

Okay cool. My MOH told me the same thing but I always concerned that they just want me to be happy so maybe they wouldn't tell me if I was being inconsiderate. And she does love her dress. She wants us to like hang out around the house after the wedding in the dresses cause she said she loves how she feels in it. 

I was just afraid cause I see a lot of people who act rude without meaning to and then don't realize it until someone is sorely offended.  Thanks.