Wedding Fundraiser?!

yogapants

hyechica81 said: we call them stags where i am from new england. and they are the normal for guys to get together the best man and groomsmen plan a party they rent a hall they get booze food and raffle off prizes its to come out and support the groom and have a good time. my hubby had one but he wanted one just to celebrate with all his guy friends and family. yes he had to sell tickets but it paid for the food and venue. he was not looking to make  money on it but he did end up with a few hundred dollars after it was all said and done.. 

Quote box not working

  Yeah, my parents used to throw lots of parties when I was younger - Halloween parties with hayrides, New Years parties, Fourth of July parties, and they always sold tickets to cover the cost of food and boo--

Wait, no they didn't, because that's tacky as fuck. If you're going to host a party then you need to actually host the party.

MobKaz

lovegood90 said:

we call them stags where i am from new england. and they are the normal for guys to get together the best man and groomsmen plan a party they rent a hall they get booze food and raffle off prizes its to come out and support the groom and have a good time. my hubby had one but he wanted one just to celebrate with all his guy friends and family. yes he had to sell tickets but it paid for the food and venue. he was not looking to make  money on it but he did end up with a few hundred dollars after it was all said and done.. 

Most people do this other thing, maybe you've heard of it, it's called paying for your own wedding.

So, every time your husband wants to celebrate something with friends and family, charges incur?  I know many people who celebrate events without charging their friends and family, because.....they're friends and family.  We tend to do things for free in our circle.

hyechica81

lovegood90 we did pay for our own wedding we had everything paid off before he had his party  the 150 he got from the party went to help pay off his nephews tux. we were not expecting any money at all from it it was more like a good time for him and his guys. 

 his bm organized it i had nothing to do with it it was his deal

 

MGP

hyechica81 said:

lovegood90 we did pay for our own wedding we had everything paid off before he had his party  the 150 he got from the party went to help pay off his nephews tux. we were not expecting any money at all from it it was more like a good time for him and his guys. 

 his bm organized it i had nothing to do with it it was his deal

 

If he wasnt expecting to make money from it he should have given the money back when he did. Or declined the offer for the party in the first place. There are many ways to go out with friends that do not involve selling people tickets or making a profit from them.

This sounds like the "no gifts" shower brides try and pull off when they claim "I just want to celebrate with my friends" but people still bring gifts (you know, because a shower is a gift giving event and no one wants to be the one a hole that shows without a gift) so they end up getting exactly what they want without actually saying it. Its gross.

peachy13

hyechica81 said:

we call them stags where i am from new england. and they are the normal for guys to get together the best man and groomsmen plan a party they rent a hall they get booze food and raffle off prizes its to come out and support the groom and have a good time. my hubby had one but he wanted one just to celebrate with all his guy friends and family. yes he had to sell tickets but it paid for the food and venue. he was not looking to make  money on it but he did end up with a few hundred dollars after it was all said and done.. 

This is definitely not a normal New England thing. I'm from Mass and have never heard of this. Like many others have said, it's not a regional thing, it's a rude thing.

And how was he not looking to make money despite the fact that he had to sell tickets? WTH

MandyMost

peachy13 said:

hyechica81 said:

we call them stags where i am from new england. and they are the normal for guys to get together the best man and groomsmen plan a party they rent a hall they get booze food and raffle off prizes its to come out and support the groom and have a good time. my hubby had one but he wanted one just to celebrate with all his guy friends and family. yes he had to sell tickets but it paid for the food and venue. he was not looking to make  money on it but he did end up with a few hundred dollars after it was all said and done.. 

This is definitely not a normal New England thing. I'm from Mass and have never heard of this. Like many others have said, it's not a regional thing, it's a rude thing.

And how was he not looking to make money despite the fact that he had to sell tickets? WTH

I'm from Mass too, and never seen this done. And I have a LOT of tacky and/or frugal and/or poor relatives from around here, who would probably totally do that if they thought they could get away with it. Never seen it. 

Yeah, we'd all like to be super rich and throw extravagant parties, or have super rich friends who would throw extravagant parties and invite us, and/or throw them for us. But that's not real life. In real life you should do what you can afford. If that means cases of cheap beer in someone's parents backyard, then that's what it is. Or for that same money invite less people, get cheap wine, and do it in a house. Seriously---whether you want a big bash or a classy upscale gathering, there's a way to do it that you can afford. 

LadyMillil

teddygirl9 said:

Yeah it's just Manitoba lol.

 

I went to HS with a girl who got engaged to a guy from Manitoba and they invited me, which was super weird. a) we werent very close b) im not going to manitoba for your party c) wasn't invited to the wedding.

 

I mean, if people want to that's fine, I dont care. Most people look at it as a 'night out', so instead of going to a club that night you just goto this person party. You get drunk, they get money, win win.

They are super common in the area of Ontario I grew up in - as in people were SHOCKED that I wasn't having one to help pay for my wedding.

In my area it is common for the B&G and most of the WP to invite everyone on their FB friends list to the stag and doe. I've moved across the country and still receive invites. I receive invites from people I haven't spoken to since high school. There is no way in hell I'd be invited to their wedding, but if I should definitely "support them" by buying tickets to the stag and doe. 

sophhabobopha

larrygaga said:

I would like to speak for all polite younger brides and say that this is not a normal or new "trend" this is something nasty that a very small group of people thought to do. This is not representative of the 21-24 crowd. Just thought I would cover that really quick!

Resident teenage bride also confirms this.

lyndausvi

Wedding and fundraiser should never be in the same sentence.  

slothiegal

lyndausvi said: Wedding and fundraiser should never be in the same sentence.  





"You should never have a fundraiser for your wedding, because if you're mature enough to get married, you're mature enough to figure out how to pay for it without begging for money, dumbass."

Does that work?

ETA box

mrscomposer

amelisha said:

NYCMercedes said:

I've only heard of this in Canada on TK. They call it a stag and doe. It has always sounded horrendous!!

Oh, no, don't tar Canada with that brush, lol. I've only ever heard of that in Manitoba (where they call it a "social"); we are NOT down with that in the West.

loveislouder said:

I'm from Manitoba, and literally everyone has a social. You sell tickets for 10 bucks, people come, buy more tickets for a silent auction (which isn't really a silent auction, by definition) and you sell booze for like, 3 bucks a drink.  People go to them because the drinks are cheaper than the bar.

That being said, I'm not having one. No way in hell.

Don't even tar Manitoba with that brush!  Some of us aren't even down with it - so not literally everyone in Manitoba has them.

[Deleted User]

sjf2715 said:

I've heard of this once before on these boards. There was whiny bride who complained about her bridal party not selling enough tickets. Thank goodness the lovely ladies on this forum shut her down fast!

I remember that girl.  She was also pissed that it was a themed party and none of them came in costumes.  Double shudder.

teddygirl9

LadyMillil said:

teddygirl9 said:

Yeah it's just Manitoba lol.

 

I went to HS with a girl who got engaged to a guy from Manitoba and they invited me, which was super weird. a) we werent very close b) im not going to manitoba for your party c) wasn't invited to the wedding.

 

I mean, if people want to that's fine, I dont care. Most people look at it as a 'night out', so instead of going to a club that night you just goto this person party. You get drunk, they get money, win win.

They are super common in the area of Ontario I grew up in - as in people were SHOCKED that I wasn't having one to help pay for my wedding.

In my area it is common for the B&G and most of the WP to invite everyone on their FB friends list to the stag and doe. I've moved across the country and still receive invites. I receive invites from people I haven't spoken to since high school. There is no way in hell I'd be invited to their wedding, but if I should definitely "support them" by buying tickets to the stag and doe. 

Haha well at least I wasn't alone in feeling awkward then, she probably invited our whole graduating class.

SP29

Stag and Does are VERY popular where I'm from in Southern Ontario. Like everyone and their dog has one.

I KNOW they are poor etiquette, but I don't hate them. You pay $10 (usually) to get in, and that gets you food. Drinks are cheaper than a bar. There is a DJ or live band. You can choose to enter the raffles or games, or not. $10 is the same as a lot of covers at clubs where you don't get food and cheaper than a night out at the bar (where I'd spend more than $10 for a plate of nachos). So I don't hate them. If I was invited to a friends, I'd go again. But I don't recommend or promote them. I think they are more stress and effort than they are "worth". 

mcmahontobe121

I actually cringed reading this. Who would think that is a good idea?!

TayanaC

lmao!

Not exactly the same but I've heard of people doing similar things to that before. My mom's best friend got invited to a wedding in Canada and the INVITATION (yes, you hear that right the actual formal invitation compete with ceremony location, family names, satin bow et al) said that if you're attending please send $85 (cost of the guests meal) in the form of check or money order to xyz address. I'm stating Canada because I wanted to point out that the person will be traveling out of the country, paying for a hotel in addition, to missing work and they're required to give you $85 to come eat pepper crusted chicken at your wedding? #Bye

That's the worst breach of wedding etiquette I've ever seen and if anyone ever does that to me I'm sending the invite back with a note telling them I can get a much better meal in my city for that price which is preferable to me subsidizing their affair.

SP29

OMG Tayana C! (haha, that rhymed!)

I have NEVER heard of that, and hope I never do. I would absolutely decline if I got that message.