Not Engaged Yet

It's Time for the Airing of Grievances!

2

Re: It's Time for the Airing of Grievances!

  • When I got the job, I texted my mom excitedly to tell her and her response was "okay". I'm super annoyed because it put a bit of a damper on my excitement. I don't really know what to make of that response.

    I can't remember who it was, but I'm still annoyed that at one point it was requested that regs here not post about their wedding planning. I always love hearing about everyone's wedding planning. 

    @Phira - I'm glad to hear you are still in therapy and you feel like it's working for you :)


  • @GoldenPenguin signature makes me want to stare at it all day... it's annoying... like did the goat really do that? Was that computer generated? Is the goat ok? Did he hurt himself/herself?

    It's more funny than annoying & @swazzle I want to also co-sign everything you said.

    Anniversary

  • Hahaha! @Peaseblossom55.......

    I don't know who it is, but one TK poster has that gif of the cat shaking its butt, followed by Shaq shaking his shoulders, followed by the cat again, and Shaq again, and so on....... I always have to watch it go through 10 or 15 iterations before I snap out of it and continue scrolling.

  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2014
    @AlPacina - That siggy is the most distracting gif ever! I'm mesmeried by it! 


  • lilacck28lilacck28 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2014
    I'm annoyed that I don't get to post much on here anymore. I'm annoyed that I had to work on the weekend with no overtime pay for a month. I'm annoyed with myself that I don't feel as grateful for all the awesome things I have as I should (ie, a job!)

    I'm seriously annoyed by Christmas music. Usually, I'm not. There are some songs which are fun and catchy, some that are beautiful. And some that are awful. When I catch any of them out and about or on a commercial, I don't mind. But at work, we have the radio playing pretty much all day long. And it's been on a station that plays Christmas music (and one REALLY BAD Hanukkah song) on repeat. That's it. Just the same Christmas songs over and over and over and over..... AHHHH.

    I'm annoyed that lots of you guys have met each other....Because I want to meet you tooo!!!! I'm jealous.

    Also, @eilis1228 @twodimes I like pet names. Or at least, I like the pet name I have for FI. I call him lovey. Occasionally lovabug. It's weird and schmoopy. And I called him lovey in public by accident at a thing we went to with friends recently. A friend misheard and exclaimed "did you call him BOOBIE?!!" (as in buh-bie...) which is the Yiddish word for grandma. It was funny/ embarrassing. SO NEENER NEENER.  ;)

    And I write too much too. I'm not apologizing to you @swazzle. 'Dems the facts. I own it.

    ETA: I love posting about my wedding updates. I try hard to keep that in and not bug my IRL friends with it too much. I don't want to be a bridezilla who can't talk about anything else.  So it was nice to have a community here that wouldn't get sick of it. But since someone mentioned that it annoys them, I do it less, or get self conscious about it when I do. That makes me sad/ teensy bit annoyed.  I do acknowledge that its nice to put WR at the title of the post. I try to do that.
  • @phira - I'm glad you stuck with therapy and you feel it's helping.

    @bethsmiles‌ - Agreed! I know I can't really have an opinion since I'm now an OMH but I really enjoyed sharing my wedding plans with NEY when I was engaged and I've always loved seeing/hearing about other people's plans.

    @lilacck28‌ - Nobody ever needs to apologize to me for their novels.



  • @bethsmiles - My mother has similar reactions to things.  I'll be SUPER excited about something and she's all like, 'That's nice."  It drives me nuts.

    My current grievance is with two of my students.  One: plagiarized the final, asked me if he could rewrite it (I'm a pushover and so said yes), but I can't submit a grade change form until I'm back on campus.  He emailed me no fewer than 3 times asking me if it was possible for me to change his grade by today (Yeah, no, I'm 900 miles from home.)  Two: didn't turn in anything all semester and then asked me to give him an incomplete.  No, you failed.

    I don't have any grievances with NEY-ers.  I don't think I've been around long enough.  But...can I have a grievance with myself?  Every time @futuremrshistorian posts something, she's moaning about how hard it is to have Mr. Historian far away.  She needs to GTFO and put on her big girl panties and deal.
  • @futuremrshistorian - When I was in grad school one of my fellow teaching assistants had a student completely flip out over her grade. He entered grades and had apparently made a mistake with hers. He was out for the day and had a big thing planned with friends to see the premiere of The Hobbit so he wasn't easily reachable. She called him at least 10 times, sent like 20 e-mails, and then came to the school looking like a maniac demanding to see him. It was actually somewhat frightening. Thankfully one of the professors stepped in and was like you need to calm the fuck down (okay she didn't actually say that but her tone implied it). 

    Some students don't seem to get that we have lives and don't just sit at our computers waiting to comply with their every command. 


  • @bethsmiles @futuremrshistorian I haven't had any students do or say anything unbelievably drastic since final grades were posted, but I've been incredibly irritated with the ones who've emailed me (for the most part). Especially:

    1) One student pretty much demanded that she get to look over her final exam because she could not possibly have done that badly. She left for break tonight and when the professor in charge of the course said that he couldn't meet with her today but could meet with her Monday, she begged to be able to meet with me. We went over the exam, and she was really upset because she kept insisting that the questions were written unfairly and that she understood the material and just got screwed over by the question wording.

    In her defense, the final was very challenging, and I do hope that next year, the prof spends more time and effort deciding what material to teach, how to teach it, and how to test it on the exam. The final exam average should not be a 50%. But this student spent a long time arguing with me about questions being unfair when, honestly, it's that she is good at memorizing material but not as good yet at thinking critically about it.

    2) There's a student who came to me during the semester not to ask questions about the material, but to whine about participation or quiz grades. I explained how she could improve her already-fine participation grade. I made it a point to try to call on her more often, but she didn't raise her hand all that much, and her participation grade ended up remaining the same. She emailed me to ask about it, even though I had told students exactly how participation was calculated, and that these were their final participation grades and were not subject to any changes. "I don't understand why I only got a 4 out of 5," is an unnecessary email to send.

    3) A student was confused as to how she got a C in the class when she had a B- average on the exams. She emailed the professor, who was initially also confused, until he and I talked and he looked at the student's discussion score, which was worth 20% of the final grade. This student had failed discussion spectacularly, with a 25% average on the quizzes and no participation. What irritates me is that this student has all of her grades available to her; she knows how she did on every exam and every quiz, and she knows her participation score, so there's zero reason she should be confused about her final grade.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
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  • @bethsmiles @futuremrshistorian @phira

    Wow. I am so grateful I never had to TA (department policy, the profs pride themselves on teaching their own classes and guard this privilege like it's the freaking One Ring and heaven help you if  you try to make any suggestions - that's tantamount to taking it to Mordor).
  • @keptinstitches So many profs are so out of touch. Like, I think it's a terrible policy to let grad students be 100% in charge of a course without any faculty oversight, but professors are not fucking gods, and so many of them suck at teaching.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
    image
  • @phira and @keptinstitches - The bad part is that I actually am the instructor of record for this class--once we're ABD, it's possible for us to get our own classes.  So there's nobody I can pawn this off onto.  I usually don't have any trouble with this because I'm pretty clear about communicating grades throughout the semester, but this hasn't been my best one, I'll admit.  But...the student who plagiarized the final got a B even without getting any credit for that exam.  I feel like I've been nice enough.
  • @futuremrshistorian, why not just flunk him? I mean, does your college have a mulligan policy? He chose to cheat, he reaps the consequences.
  • @futuremrshistorian Honestly, flunk him and report him to the dean or whatever for plagiarism. There's no excuse for that.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
    image
  • @keptinstitches and @phira - Usually for plagiarism I flunk for the assignment but...he's an international student whose English is limited, and I really think he didn't realize what he was doing.  My guidelines for the final really were a little vague (I never said "No outside sources," and he used them but didn't cite them) so I decided to let him rewrite.

    Our university plagiarism policy is...vague as well.  Sort of a "consequences can range from x to y" sort of thing.  And my department gives me no help.  I got thrown in the classroom with precisely 30 minutes of "orientation" and 3 semesters of TA-ing.  My department is sort of a mess right now in general, actually...I'd get support from them if I wanted to attack the kid and fail him outright, but not if I want to work to resolve the core issue (he doesn't know what he's doing and needs a little grace).

    Out of all the cases of plagiarism I've seen, this one is one of the less severe...I once had a student take his friend's paper and change the name.  They were both in my TA section.  I grade in alphabetical order (which they knew)...first student's name was "C" and the other one was "E."  Needless to say, I caught that shit.
  • @futuremrshistorian I think it's kind of hilarious when students either 1) panic that they'll be accused of "accidental plagiarism," or 2) when students think that we won't notice real plagiarism. I taught a lab section a couple years back where one student who was a so-so student would let his best friend copy off of his lab reports. It was really obvious, since I knew (from their interactions in class) that they were best friends, and even more obvious since the plagiarized portions were really obviously the only coherent parts of his lab reports.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
    image
  • Lately I've been pretty chatty. Sorry about that.

    As for the pet names, I wasn't aware I referred to him as goober on here outside of my sig . Usually he's just "FI." The pet names are an expression of love, so I see nothing childish or immature about that. To each their own, though.

    @lilacck28‌ LOL at boobie!


    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • I'm irritated with my uterus for being empty. I know I sound like a broken record, but some days I am floored that after 30 months, this is our life. On a happier note, I do feel like if this month doesn't work, we will be able to move on with our lives as a childfree couple, and will focus on our niece and nephew, and on travelling.

    @mssparky - Oof, that's a tough one when your direct reports do something like that, especially in front of other employees.

    @swazzle - I use parentals but not any of the others. I also don't really get your grievance about 'MY mom, MY grandad'? RE: Phira. Yes, it seems like you lost your voice and also swept SO MUCH STUFF under the rug. I just can't get over the fact that his response to you wanting to work on your issues was 'we get married or we break up.' I am very happy to hear that you are continuing therapy together.

    @bethsmiles - You got the job??!?! Congrats! I also remember a poster saying that about regs and their weddings, and I side-eyed that sentiment. I mean, we're a community and are excited for each other. As long as they start the thread with 'WR', everyone has fair warning.

    My on-board grievance is with @peaseblossom55 - Holy one-track mind, cowboy... it went from 'getting engaged' to 'planning wedding' to 'getting pregnant.' I feel like during those stages, that is all you ever talk about and it's all OMG. Now, I know I am the queen of 'OMG this is happening to me!!!!' and I also talk about TTC a LOT, but complaining after your first month of trying to get pregnant just put me over the edge.
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    "You are made of win." -SopChick
    Still here and still fabulous!

  • I'm annoyed with myself. I keep meaning to AW my wedding pictures since not everyone has seen them if I don't have them on FB. But I keep forgetting. I fail guys.
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  • I guess it's more of an irrational irritation? Like: Mom and I are making cookies tonight. Grandmom and I went shopping yesterday. It just irks me. They're not my mom or my grandmom and leaving off the "my" feels like that's being implied? I would probably say it that way to a sibling or a cousin because it's both our mom or both our grandmom. Not even sure that my explanation makes sense, honestly. 



  • Swazzle said:
    I guess it's more of an irrational irritation? Like: Mom and I are making cookies tonight. Grandmom and I went shopping yesterday. It just irks me. They're not my mom or my grandmom and leaving off the "my" feels like that's being implied? I would probably say it that way to a sibling or a cousin because it's both our mom or both our grandmom. Not even sure that my explanation makes sense, honestly. 

    MY :) sister-in-law calls my mother-in-law Mom and that feels weird to me. I mean, that is their thing, but like SIL, YOUR mom is Mom. And they all live together.

  • Swazzle said:
    I guess it's more of an irrational irritation? Like: Mom and I are making cookies tonight. Grandmom and I went shopping yesterday. It just irks me. They're not my mom or my grandmom and leaving off the "my" feels like that's being implied? I would probably say it that way to a sibling or a cousin because it's both our mom or both our grandmom. Not even sure that my explanation makes sense, honestly. 

    MY :) sister-in-law calls my mother-in-law Mom and that feels weird to me. I mean, that is their thing, but like SIL, YOUR mom is Mom. And they all live together.

    I think this is kind of sweet. Although I just can't even think about calling my in laws mom and dad. MY parents are mom and dad. I call my (almost) in laws by their names.
    My dad calls my mom's mom Ma and I like it. His parents passed away when he was in his late teens though so it's not like they're living and he's calling two women Ma or Mom.

    and your BIL & SIL live with the parents? ahhh I could NEVERRRRRRRRR
     




  • Swazzle said:
    I guess it's more of an irrational irritation? Like: Mom and I are making cookies tonight. Grandmom and I went shopping yesterday. It just irks me. They're not my mom or my grandmom and leaving off the "my" feels like that's being implied? I would probably say it that way to a sibling or a cousin because it's both our mom or both our grandmom. Not even sure that my explanation makes sense, honestly. 

    MY :) sister-in-law calls my mother-in-law Mom and that feels weird to me. I mean, that is their thing, but like SIL, YOUR mom is Mom. And they all live together.

    I think this is kind of sweet. Although I just can't even think about calling my in laws mom and dad. MY parents are mom and dad. I call my (almost) in laws by their names.
    My dad calls my mom's mom Ma and I like it. His parents passed away when he was in his late teens though so it's not like they're living and he's calling two women Ma or Mom.

    and your BIL & SIL live with the parents? ahhh I could NEVERRRRRRRRR
    haha I could never either! And I love my MIL.

    That is what works best for their situation, so I can't knock it. But it would be a last resort, for me, to share a home with any of them. Looove tuarceatha.
  • I have a new grievance... Baby it's cold outside is the creepiest song ever!  It used to be my favorite Christmas song, until I really listened to the lyrics.  
    image
  • I have a new grievance... Baby it's cold outside is the creepiest song ever!  It used to be my favorite Christmas song, until I really listened to the lyrics.  


    It is quite rapey, isn't it?

  • AlPacina said:
    I have a new grievance... Baby it's cold outside is the creepiest song ever!  It used to be my favorite Christmas song, until I really listened to the lyrics.  


    It is quite rapey, isn't it?

    It really is!! What did he put in her drink!?! Why will the neighbors wonder what's going on?!
    image
  • AlPacina said:
    I have a new grievance... Baby it's cold outside is the creepiest song ever!  It used to be my favorite Christmas song, until I really listened to the lyrics.  


    It is quite rapey, isn't it?

    It really is!! What did he put in her drink!?! Why will the neighbors wonder what's going on?!
    Have you heard the one where the male and female roles switch?
  • AlPacina said:
    I have a new grievance... Baby it's cold outside is the creepiest song ever!  It used to be my favorite Christmas song, until I really listened to the lyrics.  


    It is quite rapey, isn't it?

    It really is!! What did he put in her drink!?! Why will the neighbors wonder what's going on?!
    Have you heard the one where the male and female roles switch?
    No, but I will have to look it up when I'm not at work.  
    image
  • @swazzle - now I see what you mean
    @tuarceatha - I call my MIL mom. It still feels a little weird, but at the same time, we have that kind of relationship and she is like 95% similar to my mom. I know how much she truly loves and cares about me, so I'm totallly cool with it. She definitely never asked me to do it. Meanwhile, you will never ever ever see me calling my SFIL 'dad'. Nu uh no way no sir.
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    "You are made of win." -SopChick
    Still here and still fabulous!

  • I call H's mom "Mummy" which is what they call her.  I thought it was funny at first and asked him if he meant to say "Mommy" but, no, they call her "Mummy".  First time I went to India to visit we stayed with her and I got a little sick so took a nap.  H had left the house and the door bell rang and I went around calling for his mom by her first name (she ended up having left for tea so I didn't find her).  I told H when he got back to the house what happened and he told me his mom (and most elders in India) would be offended if I called her by her first name so "Mummy" it was after that.  :)  It was a little odd at first but I've gotten used to it.
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