Say what? You want to have individual family pictures?

ou81also

I guess it depends on what you mean by "photo shoot"??? I specifically wanted my spouse and his family together for one shot, me and my family together for another. We forgot about adding each other into the family shots... Oh well!

I don't think it's a big deal if its one or two shots or a family you're marrying into. Or like a lot of others have said, photographers always grab group pics of people at the reception. They can do it there!

twitterbird

Your photographer is there for wedding photos and it's not a formal family picture session. I didn't have any problems with that at my wedding but a friend of mine did. She was married last summer and there were pictures that came back that she didn't know were taken. Seems family members got the photographer to do family shots at the reception....something the bride and groom were not aware of. Also her sister in law insisted in a family photo with her, her husband (the bride's brother), and their 3 kids as they were all in the wedding and dressed up.

Maggie0829

twitterbird said:

Your photographer is there for wedding photos and it's not a formal family picture session. I didn't have any problems with that at my wedding but a friend of mine did. She was married last summer and there were pictures that came back that she didn't know were taken. Seems family members got the photographer to do family shots at the reception....something the bride and groom were not aware of. Also her sister in law insisted in a family photo with her, her husband (the bride's brother), and their 3 kids as they were all in the wedding and dressed up.

This.  I think there is a big difference of scheduling time for certain families to have posed shots taken as opposed to the photog going around the reception and snapping shots of family as they are chit chatting with each other ("hey, look over here for a quick picture") or dancing or whatever.  I think taking the photographer away from the wedding stuff (which he/she is being paid for) to have an impromptu family photo session is the main issue here. 

photokitty

As a photog I think it is fine if she wants a family portrait of FI's brother's family assuming

1) The photo is taken in the same location as the other family portraits

2) it is taken immediately after the family photos with the B&G

3) Brother's family stands there and patiently waits for their turn.

It would take all of 45 seconds to take the photo. Honestly it's as simple as the photog saying "OK, mom, dad B&G step tot he side and I'll take a photo of brother's family. Everyone smile. Ok, got it. Next."

Now if they want a portrait in front of a special tree or down the hall - no. But right then and there after you had them stand in the family photo, it's no big deal and no big ask of the photog. If you take the family portraits in front of the alter at the church, then that's the background in brothers' family photo too.

I had my photo take a family shot of each of our siblings families and I included them in our wedding album. I wanted photos of them, not just one big photo - which we got and I included as well. But I like variety and options.

I would give zero fucks about my guests asking the photog to take pictures of them during the reception. As long as he captures the key moments (first dance, cake cutting, toasts) I don't care if they pull him aside during the general dancing portion and do a family portrait. I don't need a dude with a camera in my face for 5 hours of dancing. I'm paying him to be there and to take pictures, film costs or no longer and issue, so have at it - take any and ally he photos my guests want.

tammym1001

twitterbird said:

Your photographer is there for wedding photos and it's not a formal family picture session. I didn't have any problems with that at my wedding but a friend of mine did. She was married last summer and there were pictures that came back that she didn't know were taken. Seems family members got the photographer to do family shots at the reception....something the bride and groom were not aware of. Also her sister in law insisted in a family photo with her, her husband (the bride's brother), and their 3 kids as they were all in the wedding and dressed up.

Not being snarky (even though this is the board for that), but was it really a problem if she didn't even know until after she got her pictures back? Obviously the photog didn't miss any shots of the bride and groom and they didn't notice that he spent a couple minutes taking pictures of other people.

I encouraged our photographer to get posed shots of all the guests at our wedding if they wanted them. He didn't miss anything important and I had some great photos to give to our family and friends. I realize not everyone wants to do that, but there are so few times that everyone is together and all dressed up that I wanted to utilize the photographer for as much as we could.

abbyj700

tammym1001 said:

twitterbird said:

Your photographer is there for wedding photos and it's not a formal family picture session. I didn't have any problems with that at my wedding but a friend of mine did. She was married last summer and there were pictures that came back that she didn't know were taken. Seems family members got the photographer to do family shots at the reception....something the bride and groom were not aware of. Also her sister in law insisted in a family photo with her, her husband (the bride's brother), and their 3 kids as they were all in the wedding and dressed up.

Not being snarky (even though this is the board for that), but was it really a problem if she didn't even know until after she got her pictures back? Obviously the photog didn't miss any shots of the bride and groom and they didn't notice that he spent a couple minutes taking pictures of other people.

I encouraged our photographer to get posed shots of all the guests at our wedding if they wanted them. He didn't miss anything important and I had some great photos to give to our family and friends. I realize not everyone wants to do that, but there are so few times that everyone is together and all dressed up that I wanted to utilize the photographer for as much as we could.

How do you know that?

DH's uncle and his fiance took it upon themselves to have our photog take several posed pictures of them at our wedding. I had no idea. And honestly, I don't care much. But he was there to take photos of our wedding, not photos of them. Tons of other couples and families had quick posed moments and candids that this couple could have also participated in rather than dragging the photographer to several rooms in our venue for what was obviously a photo shoot. I highly doubt he missed anything but this wasn't the uncle's choice to make. More annoyingly - said uncle asked the photog (who he knows) for his pictures before ours. That made me angry like no other. 

huskypuppy14

abbyj700 said:

tammym1001 said:

twitterbird said:

Your photographer is there for wedding photos and it's not a formal family picture session. I didn't have any problems with that at my wedding but a friend of mine did. She was married last summer and there were pictures that came back that she didn't know were taken. Seems family members got the photographer to do family shots at the reception....something the bride and groom were not aware of. Also her sister in law insisted in a family photo with her, her husband (the bride's brother), and their 3 kids as they were all in the wedding and dressed up.

Not being snarky (even though this is the board for that), but was it really a problem if she didn't even know until after she got her pictures back? Obviously the photog didn't miss any shots of the bride and groom and they didn't notice that he spent a couple minutes taking pictures of other people.

I encouraged our photographer to get posed shots of all the guests at our wedding if they wanted them. He didn't miss anything important and I had some great photos to give to our family and friends. I realize not everyone wants to do that, but there are so few times that everyone is together and all dressed up that I wanted to utilize the photographer for as much as we could.

How do you know that?

DH's uncle and his fiance took it upon themselves to have our photog take several posed pictures of them at our wedding. I had no idea. And honestly, I don't care much. But he was there to take photos of our wedding, not photos of them. Tons of other couples and families had quick posed moments and candids that this couple could have also participated in rather than dragging the photographer to several rooms in our venue for what was obviously a photo shoot. I highly doubt he missed anything but this wasn't the uncle's choice to make. More annoyingly - said uncle asked the photog (who he knows) for his pictures before ours. That made me angry like no other. 

Well, that's a problem with your photographer. He should have a backbone and say I'll take a few photos, but not be dragged to different rooms. 

And our photographer gave us all the pictures to distribute as we saw fit. He was paid by us, not anyone else. Did your uncle get his pictures first? If so, I'd have a little word with your photographer.

At our wedding, we saw on our wedding video that SIL is talking to the photographer right before the toasts. It seems she wanted a picture of the table or something. You can see our photographer telling her something and then coming over to us where the toasts were being done. It was obvious he was telling her something like he'd get the pictures she wanted later, but had to get the picture's he was hired to get.

photokitty

abbyj700 said:

tammym1001 said:

twitterbird said:

Your photographer is there for wedding photos and it's not a formal family picture session. I didn't have any problems with that at my wedding but a friend of mine did. She was married last summer and there were pictures that came back that she didn't know were taken. Seems family members got the photographer to do family shots at the reception....something the bride and groom were not aware of. Also her sister in law insisted in a family photo with her, her husband (the bride's brother), and their 3 kids as they were all in the wedding and dressed up.

Not being snarky (even though this is the board for that), but was it really a problem if she didn't even know until after she got her pictures back? Obviously the photog didn't miss any shots of the bride and groom and they didn't notice that he spent a couple minutes taking pictures of other people.

I encouraged our photographer to get posed shots of all the guests at our wedding if they wanted them. He didn't miss anything important and I had some great photos to give to our family and friends. I realize not everyone wants to do that, but there are so few times that everyone is together and all dressed up that I wanted to utilize the photographer for as much as we could.

How do you know that?

DH's uncle and his fiance took it upon themselves to have our photog take several posed pictures of them at our wedding. I had no idea. And honestly, I don't care much. But he was there to take photos of our wedding, not photos of them. Tons of other couples and families had quick posed moments and candids that this couple could have also participated in rather than dragging the photographer to several rooms in our venue for what was obviously a photo shoot. I highly doubt he missed anything but this wasn't the uncle's choice to make. More annoyingly - said uncle asked the photog (who he knows) for his pictures before ours. That made me angry like no other. 

Did it occur to you that perhaps your photog offered to take them since he knows them? This sounds like more of a vendor issue than an overbearing relative. Most photogs I know would have taken a few nice shots in one location of the reception room or whether the couple stopped and requested the photo - not a photo shoot touring the facility. I would have been ticked if my vendor gave any of the guests photos from my wedding before I received my proofs, too.

badbnagdway

I think we can just all agree that the pictures FMIL wants potentially are or are not an imposition based entirely on the timing of the shots and time required. OP (or OP's FI) needs to address this prior to the wedding with the vendor and with FMIL. 

Lulawife

A surprising number of the photographers I researched had picture limits within packages. I questioned one about the limit: what happens if you've taken the x amount of pictures we are contracted for and we haven't cut the cake yet? Do you leave without capturing that moment? His answer was most people never reach the limit then he changed the subject. That answer was not good enough for me because what if we are the ones that do? We went with a photographer without a limit but if you did happen to have a photo limit, that is when I would be annoyed by family wanting to arrange posed portraits. 

Maggie0829

emoc625 said:

A surprising number of the photographers I researched had picture limits within packages. I questioned one about the limit: what happens if you've taken the x amount of pictures we are contracted for and we haven't cut the cake yet? Do you leave without capturing that moment? His answer was most people never reach the limit then he changed the subject. That answer was not good enough for me because what if we are the ones that do? We went with a photographer without a limit but if you did happen to have a photo limit, that is when I would be annoyed by family wanting to arrange posed portraits. 

I have never heard of a photo limit.  Especially now when everything is digital, they should be able to take as many pictures as possible without running into additional expenses because of film.

badbnagdway

emoc625 said:

A surprising number of the photographers I researched had picture limits within packages. I questioned one about the limit: what happens if you've taken the x amount of pictures we are contracted for and we haven't cut the cake yet? Do you leave without capturing that moment? His answer was most people never reach the limit then he changed the subject. That answer was not good enough for me because what if we are the ones that do? We went with a photographer without a limit but if you did happen to have a photo limit, that is when I would be annoyed by family wanting to arrange posed portraits. 

It's pretty surprising to me that some photographers still have photo limits and/or charge you for the actual print release in addition to the package. In the age of digital it just seems like a scheme to get more money. 

Lulawife

@maggie0829 and @badbnagdway I agree with both of you. I didn't understand why a limit was necessary with digital photography and it most definitely seemed like a way to upcharge. But I do know people have used a couple of the photographers who had photo limits so it could be a concern for some. 

tammym1001

abbyj700 said:

tammym1001 said:

twitterbird said:

Your photographer is there for wedding photos and it's not a formal family picture session. I didn't have any problems with that at my wedding but a friend of mine did. She was married last summer and there were pictures that came back that she didn't know were taken. Seems family members got the photographer to do family shots at the reception....something the bride and groom were not aware of. Also her sister in law insisted in a family photo with her, her husband (the bride's brother), and their 3 kids as they were all in the wedding and dressed up.

Not being snarky (even though this is the board for that), but was it really a problem if she didn't even know until after she got her pictures back? Obviously the photog didn't miss any shots of the bride and groom and they didn't notice that he spent a couple minutes taking pictures of other people.

I encouraged our photographer to get posed shots of all the guests at our wedding if they wanted them. He didn't miss anything important and I had some great photos to give to our family and friends. I realize not everyone wants to do that, but there are so few times that everyone is together and all dressed up that I wanted to utilize the photographer for as much as we could.

How do you know that?

DH's uncle and his fiance took it upon themselves to have our photog take several posed pictures of them at our wedding. I had no idea. And honestly, I don't care much. But he was there to take photos of our wedding, not photos of them. Tons of other couples and families had quick posed moments and candids that this couple could have also participated in rather than dragging the photographer to several rooms in our venue for what was obviously a photo shoot. I highly doubt he missed anything but this wasn't the uncle's choice to make. More annoyingly - said uncle asked the photog (who he knows) for his pictures before ours. That made me angry like no other. 

Because she said the couple didn't even know the photographer took those pictures until they got their pictures back so obviously they didn't know the photog took the pics at the wedding. I'm sure in a post about a photographer taking extra pictures if the bride and groom didn't get pictures that they wanted then she would have said that. 

larrygaga

I thought the photo limits were how many you can expect to get back. The photographer shouldn't be limiting how many they take, because most take a whole bunch of shitty photos to get the golden one. 

The photographers in our area either set a number of how many edited you will get back, or at least gave an estimate. Mine said we could expect around 800 photos (holy shit, right?)

lyndausvi

I don't see the a big deal.  My photographer took shots of each of my siblings' family without me.  Shots of all my aunts together, again without me.   Shots of all my dad's cousins together, again without me.     I could go on and on.   

  

DH was the first to get married, so there were none of any of his sibling's families, there were ones of MiL and her sister, MIL and her BFF.    At SILs wedding a few months ago the photographer took a shot of DH and I and we didn't even ask.    They did us, one of BIL and his fiancée.  The groom's brother and his GF.

My sister has a great shot of her family from her SIL's wedding.  

Out photographers took something like 1500 shots during the TEN HOURS they were at my wedding.    A few formal shots of without me was not an issue at all.  

IDK, I just do not get what the issue is here.

lovesclimbing

The photog at my sisters' weddings was super awesome and would take quick portraits of couples. Like my H and I were both in the bridal party in one of the weddings. So in between BP shots, she had us stand up there and took a formal posed shot. The other wedding, I was in the BP and H was an usher and she (same photog) did the same thing.

I think that's fine and would have no problem (I had the same photog at my wedding and I'm pretty sure she did the same thing.) if they're trying to get numerous shots in numerous spots, the photog should put the kibosh on that. She's a professional.

kaitlynmichelle

My photographer got shots of the couples that were at our wedding but they weren't posed. She took them while we were all canoeing so she got some really nice ones of everyone else. They were unexpected and one of them made a lovely Christmas gift to my MOH/BIL.

BIL's gf had commented before the wedding about getting shots of just the two of them taken and I politely said if our photographer took any she was welcome to them but that it wasn't on our specific list of wants for photos. Our photographer was very good at getting the pictures we wanted, and plenty of others, but never got tied down focussing on photos that H and I weren't in. Instead she took beautiful individual photos of our parents and siblings all seeing me walk down the aisle. I don't know how she worked so damn fast!

twitterbird

As a follow up - I don't think my friend would have minded too much if it was something she knew about ahead of time. She certainly didn't say anything to her SIL. She was pissed when she got them back because that's not what she paid her photographer to do. Frankly I think her photographer was a little inexperienced. Great pictures but not so great wrangling people. The family pictures took forever and many of the shots the bride listed on her shot list simply didn't get done.

MandyMost

thisismynickname said:

thisismynickname said:

Do you really expect, as a bride, to be in every single photo for 8 hours?

I don't get the sense that is what the OP is saying. 

But what I mean is, family are wedding guests. The couple won't be in every photo. Taking 10-20 minutes to take group shots of family shouldn't be a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

It is a big deal, though, when you get down to the scheduling of the day. We did a first look and the majority of the family shots before the ceremony, then after the ceremony we did just a couple family shots and more couple portraits. The time goes very quick. We did actually get some individual family and couple shots during our pre-ceremony shoot, which I had specifically requested. But there was no time for people to start asking for more, or different poses or backgrounds.

I've never been a part of a wedding where there wasn't pressure/stress regarding the timeline for taking photos, both before and/or after the ceremony!

twitterbird

My pictures were actually pretty stress free. Kept involved family members limited (parents, grandparents and siblings only) and I had a small wedding party. We did large group family pictures with aunts, uncles and cousins later in the evening.

[Deleted User]

This is utter nonsense. So sorry you have to deal with this.

lyndausvi

My 93 year old great-died of a heart attack in her sleep about 4-5 weeks after I got married.  About week later I got my pictures back.  There was an amazing formal shot of my great-aunt and her children and their spouses.  Aunt F had the biggest smile, she really looked great.  

 When I saw that picture I did not say "WTF?   I can't believe the photographer took a formal shot of family without telling me!."     Nope, I realized I had the last known formal shot of the family would ever have of their mom.  I happily made a copy and sent it to them.

Unless the photographer is being dragged all over the place for the right background shot wasting time then I really do not understand the issue here.    Not saying you need to have formal pictures of ever single guest. Just saying that if you are doing a formal shot of the whole immediate family it takes little time to do one of each individual shots at the same time.  When my siblings were doing theirs I took a sip of water the reapplied some lip stick.  3 families took all of 3 minutes because they were right there and I got a welcomed break.

MnHGirl

Thanks everyone for the feedback! Sorry for the delay in response time slipped with the holidays and busy work schedule!

I think what worries me the most is the FMIL was not going towards a quick "here is brothers family" pic and go. She wants a few pictures of each daughter (two total) and shots of them together. Like something you would get from doing a private photo shoot and the oldest daughter already miss behaves (she is 7 and can be a huge brat) so it could take a bit of time to get her to even listen. 

We are doing first look photos along  with the wedding party pictures at my dads farm (located 10 miles from the church) and then plan to have extended family shots in the church yard and in the Church. So with this I think we will be tight on time and I do not want to worry about staged photos that are non-wedding related. Also I have three siblings with family so then it will just start stuff and them wanting photos too. 

I think I will suggest that if they want family photos then they can grab the 2nd photographer during the reception and set something up. I am not against having candid/impromptu shots what so ever! Sometimes those are the best photos. I also never expected to be in every shot for the entire day either.

I am very grateful that my FI family gifted us some money, but they also have an extensive guest list that they would like to invite and as we all know- things get expensive with food and drinks when guests are added! 

Thanks again!

runsonveggies

Sounds like FI's mom needs to get her family to a photographer for pictures. I think she's out of line and you right to feel the way you do. If you're comfortable with your photographer then let them know what pictures you want taken and let them know the potential issue with people wanting lots of extra individual pictures and cue them in to tell them "so sorry, no time".