40-Plus Brides

bouquet toss and garter toss

I am first time 40ish bride. I really never liked the garter toss and now that I am the bride and most of our friends and family are married, is it really necessary to do the bouquet toss and garter throw? I would like to just give my bouquet to my mother who never had a formal wedding. What is everyone's thoughts please?

Re: bouquet toss and garter toss

  • Denise40Denise40 Montgomery County, Tx
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
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    You can do whatever you want. It's your twos wedding. Have fun
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
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    No, neither are required, and many people find the tosses ridiculous anyway. I think giving your bouquet to your mother is a lovely idea. Congrats on your upcoming wedding!
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • More and more brides are ditching the garter/bouquet ideas out the window. The last two weddings have been to (one bride in her 30s and another in her 20s) didn't do the tosses at all. If you want to give your bouquet away, giving it to your mother is a very sweet idea.
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  • I agree with the other respondents.  I'm in my 30s and will not be doing the toss either.  I attended a very elegant wedding in Miami recently with a very young bride and she did not do it either.  I think it has less to do with age and more with trends that may be fading or falling out of favor.  After all, no one does the "Chicken Dance" anymore either and I'd be hard pressed to find anyone who misses that!  I think gifting your mother with the bouquet is a lovely gesture.  Congratulations and happy planning.  
  • Do make it a special moment by having your dj play a lyrical soft tune, announce that you, your groom and your mother come to the dance floor and present her with the bouquet - take photos and have your bridal party toss up petals.  should be so extra special and she will be so appreciative.  
  • I didn't do either. I was married at 41 and it just didn't really fit with our wedding. Plus, most of my friends are married and I didn't want those who were single to feel uncomfortable or on display. One actually thanked me afterwards. I love the idea of giving your mom your bouquet.
    image
  • We didn't do it either as we were in a similar situation. Giving it to your mother is beatiful. I've also seen couples do an anniversary dance to celebrate all the married couples that attend and then gave the couple that had been married the longest the flowers
    Knottie1439300019
  • Yeah don't feel like you have to do it if you don't want to. Lots of people today forgoe those two traditions so I don't think people will think it's weird. I think it's bad when the bride & groom are so out of touch with their guests that they still include the bouquet and garter toss when there is less than 5 participants. Good luck!
  • Erikan73 said:
    We didn't do it either as we were in a similar situation. Giving it to your mother is beatiful. I've also seen couples do an anniversary dance to celebrate all the married couples that attend and then gave the couple that had been married the longest the flowers
    I've seen the anniversary dance/bouquet presentation as well, and I'm thinking about doing that at my wedding.
    hpubride
  • I have a lot of single friends so I might do the bouquet toss and the garter thing.
    hpubride
  • I love the idea of giving your bouquet to your mother. Really sweet. One of the nice things about being an older bride is the confidence that comes with age to make your wedding however you want it to be.


    hpubride
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