Unsure of my standing with Catholic church...

ashdking

My boyfriend is from a devout Catholic family and wants to have a Catholic wedding. I'm not opposed to it but I am trying to find out more details about how the ceremony would be and I'm not sure how the church would consider me. I am Christian but have not attended church on a regular basis and years and I was never baptized. Does anyone have any idea how a ceremony would run with this in mind as well as how the church would handle the marriage?

agapecarrie

Catholics can marry someone who is not baptized, with dispensation from the Bishop. The Liturgy would be a liturgy of the word  (without a mass). It looks like the first half of a mass. It would be considered a valid, but not a sacramental marriage. (as both need to be baptized).

MesmrEwe

Begin with talking to the parish priest that would be performing the service.  Oftentimes they will put your mind at ease about the whole process as it's a lot more involved than say hiring the local JOP or minister to simply perform the ceremony.  In the state I'm from, the interesting thing is that the marriage prep in the Catholic church qualifies as premarital counseling (as it would if this was done with another counselor) so we got a discount on the cost of our marriage license.  In a way they do the prep to "force the issue" of a lot of topics surrounding marriage and family life, and the ways of the church. 

nicole4793

Talk with your FI's priest. There shouldn't be any issues with having a Catholic wedding, but don't be surprised if the priest constantly brings up converting. If that's not for you, then politely brush it off! My priest did this many years ago to my father (he's Methodist & my mom is Catholic). One option that might be better for you is not having a full mass. The ceremony wouldn't be the full 50-60 mins. like a mass. Instead, it would only be about 25-30 mins. without communion. Then you wouldn't have to be left out at your own wedding during communion. Like PP said, you'll have to go through pre-marriage counseling, which is kind of cut and dry. They're most likely going to go on and on about family planning, sex is bad, birth control is horrible, having children is necessary for successful marriages, etc. Take it with a grain of salt. Good luck planning!

agapecarrie

nicole4793 said:

Like PP said, you'll have to go through pre-marriage counseling, which is kind of cut and dry. They're most likely going to go on and on about family planning, sex is bad, birth control is horrible, having children is necessary for successful marriages, etc. Take it with a grain of salt. Good luck planning!

The church regards marriage and sex VERY highly-- Not bad. Your information is incorrect about "having children is necessary for successful marriages". It's one must be open to children, and a permanent intention against children is an impediment to a valid marriage. 

Telling someone to take their marriage prep "with a grain of salt" isn't really cool. 

nicole4793

@agapecarrie I just wanted her to be prepared for if her experience was anything like the pre-cana in my diocese, especially since she isn't quite sure where she stands with the church. I like my religion, but don't agree with every single belief. My particular church constantly tells people that having children is necessary to have a good marriage. I'm not saying I agree with that thought by any means. 

ashdking

Thank you everyone for clearing it up for me. I just didn't know how the church would view the marriage but all my questions have been answered.