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I think it just definitely depends on the situation. My FH asked, but I'm still young and I supported by my parents, and it was more of an "asking for his blessing" than asking for my hand like I'm a possession. It also made him feel happy and gave him the opportunity for him to talk to him about his expectations for us together (i.e. "Please take care of me when I'm old.") Also-just a thought-if it's your opinion that your FH shouldn't ask for your hand, then do you want you dad to "give you away" at the alter? That sounds kind of opposite to me.
(NEY) I wouldn't want SO to ask. He would never ask my father (not in the picture), but I feel like he might ask my mom. We have been together for almost 9 years, own a house together, and I definitely do not need my mothers permission to get married lol. She would never say no though, so I guess it doesnt really matter.
FWIW, my mothers boyfriend talked to me before he decided to buy a ring for her. He wasn't asking permission so much as keeping me in the loop. He is going to ask her valentines weekend.