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Please tell me I'm being dumb and ridiculous-- Update!

2

Re: Please tell me I'm being dumb and ridiculous-- Update!

  • Ladies I thought of another piece of advice if you don't like flying. 

    If you go overseas, you'll be on one or two brands of jet: Boeing or Airbus. I can't explain this, and my apologies if anyone works for Airbus, but I think Boeing is far better. Airbuses seem clunky even if the plane is brand new. I always notice it rattles more on take-off or landing. The fuel lines clunk around too, which is freaky to me. 

    Some booking websites (usually if you go directly to the airline's website) show you the expected equipment (not guaranteed). (Also, this is why if you choose your seat it's not guaranteed- they might change the equipment last minute.)

    If you can, get on a Boeing jet. Just being on a less clunky airplane makes me feel a lot better. 
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  • (Can I take this a tiny bit off track to insert that I love airports? I know it's weird but I actually like the bustle and the weirdness of, like...buying magazines and drinking at noon in airport bars and watching people in their pjs and all the other weird time-killers that I'd ordinarily not do. I find something about it to be part of the fun of travelling.)

    I also wanted to add that if it's a control thing, I assume you are sometimes the passenger in cars or on public transit and that is also really no different from not being the one flying the plane, if you know what I mean. So I think reminding yourself of that can be helpful too. And @charlieyankee03 made the very good point that commercial aircraft especially are incredibly safe even compared to small planes too (and both of those things are, as you know, much safer than ground travel.)



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  • I'm going to be incredibly tacky and point out the obvious: you're not flying a Malaysian airline. You are not flying over Ukraine. Therefore your statistics of staying alive just went up significantly!

    Ahaha. No but seriously. Get your FI to press the button booking the tickets (and do it ASAP- gas prices are low and the dollar is strong in Europe!) and some Xanax for the flight(s). That way you don't have to worry about your premonition because HE'S doing it and not you, and you can get on that damn plane and go to Italy! I am remarkably jealous!
  • I have only flown once in my life and it was an awful experience. I don't have any desire to fly ever again except I do want to travel. I've just said that I want to take Xanax before and go to sleep and maybe that will help. 

    But like Lolo suggested, have your FI book the flight. That way it gets done in time and you aren't dealing with the back and forth right now.

  • You're being silly. I understand where you're coming from because we had to change our honeymoon plans due to the plane crashes and the scare they incited (we were planning our honeymoon around the area where all of those planes were disappearing and would've had to take one of those problem airlines) but overall, there's less chance that you'll be in danger in a plane than in a car. Going to Italy should be perfectly safe. 

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  • hahaha @novella that was exactly what came to mind when I said that! That movie is fantastic.

    Sidenote/threadjack: When that first came out I recommended it to a somewhat more conservative friend. She watched it and told me "Bridesmaids was about as funny as a puppy being kicked in the face. I cried." My brain apparently couldn't process that someone could hate that movie, so I misunderstood and responded "I told you! I loved it!" We're not friends anymore...

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  • amelisha said:
    (Can I take this a tiny bit off track to insert that I love airports? I know it's weird but I actually like the bustle and the weirdness of, like...buying magazines and drinking at noon in airport bars and watching people in their pjs and all the other weird time-killers that I'd ordinarily not do. I find something about it to be part of the fun of travelling.)

    I also love airports! People don't get it, they just look at me weird. I'm always the first to volunteer to pick someone up from the airport and I always meet them inside. They'll try to tell me to just pick them up outside of baggage claim at the curb side pick up and I'm like "No I'll meet you outside the security check point, don't worry" and I'm gonna be there like an hour early making up stories about where everyone is going and why they're traveling. 

    Also @novella, I have weird things about traveling. I have to bring a favorite pair of fuzzy socks, even if it's summer and I'll never wear them, I have to have bubble gum flavored gum, I need to have red vines as a snack, I have to call my mom/dad/grandma/FI before I board the plane and once I'm off the plane, I need a bottle of water (even though I probably won't drink from it), and despite not being at all Catholic I have to have my rosearey and St. Christopher medal (gifts from a friend who is Catholic). And as long as I have those things and make my phone calls, everything will be totally fine.

    My friend told me once when I was freaking out about all the planes crashing and how they never talk about planes not crashing, she says "That's because thousands of planes take off and land without incident all day long. It'd take all fucking day to report on and being the most boring fucking story ever. A plane took off, then it landed, nothing happened. Another plane took off, it also landed, nothing happened. See? And I've only done two planes!" and well I try to think of that because it's funny and also true.
  • amelisha said:
    I also wanted to add that if it's a control thing, I assume you are sometimes the passenger in cars or on public transit and that is also really no different from not being the one flying the plane, if you know what I mean. So I think reminding yourself of that can be helpful too. And @charlieyankee03 made the very good point that commercial aircraft especially are incredibly safe even compared to small planes too (and both of those things are, as you know, much safer than ground travel.)


    I get what you're saying and for some reason it doesn't affect me as a passenger in a car. I am illogical, for sure. 

    I rationed with myself yesterday that the main cause of a car accident is a driver. A singular driver. Commercial flights have two pilots. So if one makes a mistake there is someone who I assume still has some sense and can save us from death. Therefore, a plane is safer. I know there are statistics about this, but I had to break it into illogical terms for my brain to accept. 

    I think the moral of the story is, don't fly with me. 
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  • I HATE flying. I am terrified of takeoffs. I just got a prescription for xanax for our trip a couple months ago. Life changing. Seriously! I don't know why I waited so long.
  • Came here to say you should have your FI book it but I see everyone's beaten me to it.

    I don't think you can logic yourself out of a phobia--all you can really do is manage the symptoms of it, which might involve mindful breathing, deliberately imagining you're somewhere else, and a shitload of alcohol (OR Xanax. No to both at once!). Once you get yourself on the aircraft it'll be out of your hands, and when you "survive" the flight, that will be one more chip in your fear's armor, I would think. I'm not an expert by any means, though, so maybe you could ask about coping mechanisms at one of your therapy appointments? (I mean, if you're already there, why not?)
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    This baby knows exactly how I feel
  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited January 2015
    I LOVE flying, and my favorite parts are the takeoff and landing, but I understand your fear. H is terrified of flying and can't even walk into an airport, let alone get on a plane. The last time we flew somewhere, he had combined Xanax with a couple shots of Jack, and he still shook like he was having a seizure. I felt so bad for him that I vowed I'd never ask him to fly anywhere again.

    I second/third/fourth the nomination for Xanax. If your doctor will give you Klonopin (clonazepam), ask for that. I find it's a bit stronger than Xanax, and it makes some people pretty sleepy. Try to book a red-eye, and stay up as late as you can the night before. Between the lack of sleep, the red-eye, and the anti-anxiety medication, you should be able to fall asleep shortly after takeoff. Just have your H (he'll be your H at that point! Yay!) hold your hand through takeoff, and then get all snuggle-bugged until you land in Italy.

    Oh, that brings me to my other point - if you can fly directly, do so. The fewer take-offs/landings you have to deal with, the better. Plus, you'll get more sleep, which will help your body adjust to the time difference.
  • I LOVE flying, and my favorite parts are the takeoff and landing, but I understand your fear. H is terrified of flying and can't even walk into an airport, let alone get on a plane. The last time we flew somewhere, he had combined Xanax with a couple shots of Jack, and he still shook like he was having a seizure. I felt so bad for him that I vowed I'd never ask him to fly anywhere again.

    I second/third/fourth the nomination for Xanax. If your doctor will give you Klonopin (clonazepam), ask for that. I find it's a bit stronger than Xanax, and it makes some people pretty sleepy. Try to book a red-eye, and stay up as late as you can the night before. Between the lack of sleep, the red-eye, and the anti-anxiety medication, you should be able to fall asleep shortly after takeoff. Just have your H (he'll be your H at that point! Yay!) hold your hand through takeoff, and then get all snuggle-bugged until you land in Italy.

    Oh, that brings me to my other point - if you can fly directly, do so. The fewer take-offs/landings you have to deal with, the better. Plus, you'll get more sleep, which will help your body adjust to the time difference.
    Thank you! And also, I love the bolded phrase! Adorable 
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  • Ladies I thought of another piece of advice if you don't like flying. 


    If you go overseas, you'll be on one or two brands of jet: Boeing or Airbus. I can't explain this, and my apologies if anyone works for Airbus, but I think Boeing is far better. Airbuses seem clunky even if the plane is brand new. I always notice it rattles more on take-off or landing. The fuel lines clunk around too, which is freaky to me. 

    Some booking websites (usually if you go directly to the airline's website) show you the expected equipment (not guaranteed). (Also, this is why if you choose your seat it's not guaranteed- they might change the equipment last minute.)

    If you can, get on a Boeing jet. Just being on a less clunky airplane makes me feel a lot better. 

    The saying in our house is:

    If it ain't Boeing, we ain't going!




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  • Guys, I did it! I booked our plane tickets! WE'RE GOING TO ITALY! :D

    WOOHOO! Good job lady!

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  • Go live out your dream!  Don't let your fear of flying hold you back.  You know you will regret it, and flights are not only much safer than driving, but time wise they are also a very short portion of your trip.

    You might want to see a doctor and have him prescribe you an anti-anxiety for the flights. It sounds like they might really help you.  Other options are margaritas in the airport pre-flight (don't mix with drugs, duh, and don't get too drunk, lol) or taking a sleep aid if you get a red eye so you sleep through most of the flight.  

    Things to avoid on your flight:  the news, caffeine, pumped up music.  

    Italy is going to be beautiful, and you're going to have a great time.  Don't let your fear hold you back!  


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  • Yay! You're going to have such an amazing time!
  • You sound exactly like me!!! Italy is where my boyfriend and I want to honeymoon, but the 14 hour cross Atlantic flight absolutely terrifies me. I think you should try getting a psychologist to talk about your fear and possibly try to get prescribed something. That is my plan of action.

    Good luck and I hope you have a great time no matter where you go!

  • Yay! Have fun, take the happy pills and so on and so forth.

    Third vote on Boeing vs Airbus.
  • Yay! You'll have a blast!

    I find the older I get the more worried about flights I become. But so long as you're traveling between countries that have strict safety protocols for their aircraft, and you are, you have nothing to worry about.

    Also, I'm glad I'm not the only one who carries a St. Christopher medal when flying. I'm a "recovering Catholic" yet it still gives me a sense of security.
  • Glad you went for it!

    Maybe I just don't pay enough attention to the news, but there haven't been 'tons of plane crashes.' There are certainly multiple (deadly) car wrecks daily in any given part of the U.S., but I only know of maybe two plane crashes in the last year or so, and weren't both of those on Asian airlines? I mean, somebody correct me, please, because I honestly do not read/watch much news. I do listen to the radio going to/from work and there's always several car wrecks reported.
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  • Thanks, everyone! :) 
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  • Yay!  Italy is next on our list of Places to Visit in Europe, as soon as we finish with Northern Ireland.

    A few other suggested items you will likely need in order to have an enjoyable flight:
    Noise cancelling headphones- Until airlines begin offering child free flights, you really should invest in a good pair.  Yeah, yeah, I know the kids can't help it, but I certainly don't want to be stuck listening to their wailing for 14hrs.

    Eye Mask- It may help you sleep if you are like me and need darkness to fall asleep in, lol.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • You can do it girl!
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  • amelisha said:
    (Can I take this a tiny bit off track to insert that I love airports? I know it's weird but I actually like the bustle and the weirdness of, like...buying magazines and drinking at noon in airport bars and watching people in their pjs and all the other weird time-killers that I'd ordinarily not do. I find something about it to be part of the fun of travelling.)

    I also wanted to add that if it's a control thing, I assume you are sometimes the passenger in cars or on public transit and that is also really no different from not being the one flying the plane, if you know what I mean. So I think reminding yourself of that can be helpful too. And @charlieyankee03 made the very good point that commercial aircraft especially are incredibly safe even compared to small planes too (and both of those things are, as you know, much safer than ground travel.)


    While I won't say I love airports, I do find they are great for people-watching.  I've got some photos of people sleeping in airports that are pretty funny.  I have a "series" called The Art of Train Sleeping that I expanded into Airport Sleeping.
  • Ladies I thought of another piece of advice if you don't like flying. 


    If you go overseas, you'll be on one or two brands of jet: Boeing or Airbus. I can't explain this, and my apologies if anyone works for Airbus, but I think Boeing is far better. Airbuses seem clunky even if the plane is brand new. I always notice it rattles more on take-off or landing. The fuel lines clunk around too, which is freaky to me. 

    Some booking websites (usually if you go directly to the airline's website) show you the expected equipment (not guaranteed). (Also, this is why if you choose your seat it's not guaranteed- they might change the equipment last minute.)

    If you can, get on a Boeing jet. Just being on a less clunky airplane makes me feel a lot better. 

    The saying in our house is:

    If it ain't Boeing, we ain't going!
    No joke, I have a sticker from Boeing that says that.

    Yay Novella!
    ________________________________


  • amelisha said:
    (Can I take this a tiny bit off track to insert that I love airports? I know it's weird but I actually like the bustle and the weirdness of, like...buying magazines and drinking at noon in airport bars and watching people in their pjs and all the other weird time-killers that I'd ordinarily not do. I find something about it to be part of the fun of travelling.)

    I also wanted to add that if it's a control thing, I assume you are sometimes the passenger in cars or on public transit and that is also really no different from not being the one flying the plane, if you know what I mean. So I think reminding yourself of that can be helpful too. And @charlieyankee03 made the very good point that commercial aircraft especially are incredibly safe even compared to small planes too (and both of those things are, as you know, much safer than ground travel.)


    While I won't say I love airports, I do find they are great for people-watching.  I've got some photos of people sleeping in airports that are pretty funny.  I have a "series" called The Art of Train Sleeping that I expanded into Airport Sleeping.
    Do you have these photos on a blog or Tumblr somewhere? I travel by train and plane all the time, and I love photography.

    Or are they just fun, candid snaps for your personal amusement?
  • Ladies I thought of another piece of advice if you don't like flying. 


    If you go overseas, you'll be on one or two brands of jet: Boeing or Airbus. I can't explain this, and my apologies if anyone works for Airbus, but I think Boeing is far better. Airbuses seem clunky even if the plane is brand new. I always notice it rattles more on take-off or landing. The fuel lines clunk around too, which is freaky to me. 

    Some booking websites (usually if you go directly to the airline's website) show you the expected equipment (not guaranteed). (Also, this is why if you choose your seat it's not guaranteed- they might change the equipment last minute.)

    If you can, get on a Boeing jet. Just being on a less clunky airplane makes me feel a lot better. 

    The saying in our house is:

    If it ain't Boeing, we ain't going!
    No joke, I have a sticker from Boeing that says that.

    Yay Novella!
    I want that sticker!

    Boeing is like the Toyota of planes. Can be fancied up to a Lexus, but, safe, sturdy and reliable.

    Airbus is like a public transport bus. It'll get you there safe in all likely reality, but it's sketchy feeling.

    I've paid to change flights to Boeing. If it's over two hours, I will not be on Airbus. Under two hours flight, I will seriously consider driving.
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