Facebook" Friends " Etiquette

Eddy&Jenny

  I'm getting married for the second time, 17 years have passed and of course I don't have the same relationships with people I invited to my first wedding.  However,....I have developed, and keep up with some friendships on Facebook with old family friends and school friends, some of which did attend my fist wedding. We "like" and comment on each others lives and have known each other for years...some since we were kids.  I'm not sure if an invite to my second wedding under those circumstances is the right thing to do??  Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you,

J

WhatawagSBNy

Do you ever actually see any of these people, and have you had them to your home within about 3 years? If so, maybe invite.

Others are like former co-workers , people from clubs or activity groups of the past. If you haven't seen them in this long, start up by entertaining them in your home or elsewhere after you are married.

Maggie0829

I don't constitute a random comment here and there and "liking" people's post as a real friendship but rather an acquaintance you are only still in contact with because of social media.  I have people on my FB that I sometimes comment on their posts and like things but they certainly aren't people I would invite to my wedding.

If these people lived close by would you hang out regularly?  Or talk on the phone?  Go out to the bar for some drinks?  Maybe even go on a vacation with?  Because those are the people who you should be inviting to your wedding.

ETA:  There are some people that have friends solely through social media and come to know them well and feel close to them without even meeting in real life. I have some of these friends.  But I am thinking that this is not what you are talking about, but rather fellow high school buddies that you have found on FB.

Eddy&Jenny

I have run into a few of them, but no, nothing planned.  One of the gals I was thinking of I have never met in person, I know her husband, we are old family friends.  Thank you for your input.  

princessleia22

My sister had a lot of trouble trying to cut her guest list down.  Some of them were friends she USED to hang out with often, but now they just talk on Facebook.  Some were people that she hasn't seen often, but she had gone to their wedding.  Things like that.  I told her: 1) if you haven't even talked to them in over a year, don't invite them.  2) if you haven't seen them, in person, in over 2-3 years, don't invite them. Granted, in her case she needed to make some major guest list cuts. But, I think of weddings as an event to be shared with those closest to you... not the people the USED to be close to you... or "kind of" close to, or that person you talked to that one time at that party 5 years ago.  I have one of my best friends from high school and we do the liking and random comments on facebook still, but I haven't directly seen or talked to her in about 5 years.  She is still very close to my MOH though. I debated inviting her to my wedding, but ultimately decided against it.  If we aren't good enough friends anymore for me to actually call her on occasion, or even get together when I'm in my hometown, then it just felt odd inviting her to my wedding.

LondonLisa

A good rule is: would you call this couple (not FB message) tonight and ask them to go to an expensive restaurant just them and you/your Fi, entirely paid for by you? If not, then don't invite them.

mlg78

These people you describe aren't friends, they're acquaintances.  You're cordial and friendly in your interactions with each other...but do you call them up when you're having a crappy day?  Do you celebrate things with them outside of social media?  No...so don't invite them.  I'm sure there are plenty of people you do have frequent interactions with that would love to be there with you on your wedding day.

climbingsingle

I wouldn't consider people like that friends and I wouldn't invite them to my wedding. Those are just acquaintances.

Eddy&Jenny

Thank you everyone for your responses, Very helpful.  I know I will have a hundred and one more questions before this is all done. 

agenevieve22016

Yea definitely don't invite people you haven't seen in years or speak or text with often. If I did this I'd have 200 people at my wedding. There has to be a limit at some points