choosing a first dance song when you don't agree on genres?

Knottie6260593

Hi everyone!

My fiance and I are having a hard time agreeing on a first dance song. I like more of the newer pop or classic romantic songs, but I also don't want something that's been overdone. My fiance really dislikes anything mainstream or 'poppy' and likes more of the classic rock songs, which I don't mind I just haven't been able to fall in love with any of them yet. I was just wondering if anyone else has had this problem or has any song suggestions or sites to look at? 

Thanks! 

ElcaB

I'd suggest compromising --- maybe you choose a classic rock song he likes, but choose a cover version by an artist you like. 

blushingbride8888

I agree with @ElcaB - there are some amazing covers out there. I say go by the lyrics first. Try googling top wedding songs first dance or something and find one more classic you can tolerate but like the lyrics to and then find a great cover. There are also some more indie type songs that are less mainstream on lists like I suggested.

allispain

DH and I had this problem - we compromised by each picking music that was important to us for different things. I wanted Pachelbel's Cannon for my entrance to the ceremony (which he strongly dislikes), so I traded that for letting him pick the first dance song (he went with a classic jazz tune). We both kept coming up with songs for our entrance to the reception that the other didn't like - we finally settled on "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" by the Beatles :-)

vulpiepop

FI and I had this same problem. We just have very different tastes in music. We found one song that he really liked and that I was ok with but then when we tried to dance to it, it was way to fast paced and there was a lot of foot stepping. It wasn't going to work for us.

In the end, we decided on a more classical song when my violin teacher offered to play at our wedding. It became more important that we get our first dance played live from our musicians than what the actual song would be at that point. We're pretty happy with our choice.

As PPs said, maybe there are covers for songs your FI likes that are done by artists you like. Or maybe you or your FI likes the instrumental version but not the original version of a song the other likes. Whatever song you end up choosing, definitely look at the lyrics and try actually dancing to it to make sure it'll work for you both.

MandyMost

Try searching for some current artists/songs that have the feel of older music as well. Our second choice was something by Ray LaMontagne, which my now-husband liked just for that reason. It didn't sound like a modern pop song. 

thisismynickname2

Two thoughts:

1) Each make separate lists of 10-15 songs that you each think are first dance appropriate. Sit down with your computers and play them for each other- at least 30 seconds each song. This may help you each find a song that maybe you wouldn't have considered before just because you generally don't like the genre. 

2) Do a combo! Start with a minute of one song and have the DJ or band segway into a minute of the other person's choice.  Tread carefully with this so it's not clunky but a good DJ or band could help.

Kahlyla

I'm wondering if any of the existing Glee mashups would actually address this, hehe. But I love the cover suggestion. I've heard rock songs covered in a pared-down, acoustic way, dark grunge songs made to sound like a lounge act, and the inverse too - cheesy 80s tunes redone with a bit of an edge. Hopefully you can find something that works for you guys!

If you have any specific song ideas, I'd be happy to hunt down covers, that's one of my favourite things. You never know what might be out there.

erinlin25

do your best to compromise.  If he is wanting to give input, here him out and at least get some songs in there he likes.  End of the day don't put too much pressure on the first dance song.  If he loves it, go with it and pick another song you love for another element.  PP had a good suggestion to see if you can find a classic rock with a recent cover that may appease both of your tastes.

what songs does he like vs. the ones you like? If you give specifics (so we know your music taste) we can suggest some other songs you both may like. 

Off the top of my head, classic rock, first dance song that comes to mind is "Faithfully" from Journey.  I bet there are a lot of covers of that song.

AnnoymouseBride124

My fiancé and I could not agree either. I wanted "How Long Will I Love You" from Ellie Goulding and my fiancé wanted "The Adventure" from Angels and Airwaves. So, we are doing both!

PrettyGirlLost

Ugh, this would be tough.  I guess you pick a song from a genre you both hate! ;-)

Can you compromise and do one of the songs one of you likes as the 1st dance and then have the other played later in the reception and you can dance together again?  I mean with all the other guests of course too.

Knottie6260593

Thanks everyone! Sorry I haven't been on in a few days, not ignoring your comments! I really wanted to use 'I won't give up' by Jason Mraz, but my fiance doesn't like the new pop stuff and he thinks that song is kind of cheesy and mushy. We both love the 90's music as that's what we both grew up listening to, a lot of the 80s I like but to me they're kind of corny and reminds me of my mom's wedding. We have talked a bit and are considering using 'Fix You' by Coldplay, it's different and not something I think our guests would except  

Knottie6260593

**expect  

AnnoymouseBride124

We are doing two first dances. I really wanted a traditional first dance-"How Long Will I Love You" by Ellie Goulding and he said he had always wanted "The Adventure" by Angels and Airwaves. So we are just doing them both!

esstee33

EcktoberWedding said:

We are doing two first dances. I really wanted a traditional first dance-"How Long Will I Love You" by Ellie Goulding and he said he had always wanted "The Adventure" by Angels and Airwaves. So we are just doing them both!

You already commented on this thread back in January, you know. 

Also, how can you have two first dance songs? Are you playing them both at the same time? Because any other situation must involve one of them being played first.