Dear Prudence,
My 12-year-old daughter has been invited to two birthday parties that take place a few weeks before her own birthday party. Although she is not close friends with either of the girls, she is happy to attend and bring a gift. The problem is that she does not want to invite them to her birthday party. She tells me that the two girls don’t get along with her friends. I know the two girls and I understand what she is talking about. When I told her that she should decline their invitations if she was not willing to reciprocate, she explained that she was afraid that they wouldn’t have many people at their parties and she didn’t want to make them sad. So, which is kinder: to decline an invitation when you don’t want to reciprocate, or to go and make them unhappy when they don’t get an invitation in return?