Reception Food

Knottie07416629

Hey y'all! 

I need some feedback because I am not finding ANYTHING on google about it at the moment.

Our original reception menu was:

BBQ (with buns and variety of sauces)

slaw

baked beans

sweet potato casserole

fruit bar

sweet tea

water

lemonade

wedding cupcakes

We just made our own baked spaghetti tonight that was amazing!! We made the joke of how easy and more simple this would be for wedding food, and then we actually started considering it. So this would be our new menu:

Bake spaghetti

Salad (with variety dressings)

toast (garlic bread, texas toast, etc. whatever you want to call it)

fruit bar

tea 

water

lemonade

wedding cupcakes

People would begin eating around 5:15pm. Our wedding is May 17th, 2015. Our wedding isn't anything super fancy but it's not super duper casual either. I believe we are expecting about 125 guests. It is really not in our budget to get someone to cater our wedding so we are catering ourselves and having family help serve the food.

I am just wanting some feedback on if baked spaghetti would be tacky. Please don't be rude though, I am just asking for help, not judgement! 

Thanks for your input!!!

lyndausvi

Baked spaghetti is not tacky, but cooking for 125 is harder than you think.  Where are you going to store baked spaghetti for 125?  Who is going to cook the food?  Make sure it stays hot? 

mlg78

The bbq, to me, is SUPER casual.  BBQ makes me think of wearing shorts and flip flops in the backyard, not attending a wedding...so I would lean towards your Italian menu.  I do share the above concerns though...

chibiyui

Knottie07416629 said:

Hey y'all! 

I need some feedback because I am not finding ANYTHING on google about it at the moment.

Our original reception menu was:

BBQ (with buns and variety of sauces)

slaw

baked beans

sweet potato casserole

fruit bar

sweet tea

water

lemonade

wedding cupcakes

We just made our own baked spaghetti tonight that was amazing!! We made the joke of how easy and more simple this would be for wedding food, and then we actually started considering it. So this would be our new menu:

Bake spaghetti

Salad (with variety dressings)

toast (garlic bread, texas toast, etc. whatever you want to call it)

fruit bar

tea 

water

lemonade

wedding cupcakes

People would begin eating around 5:15pm. Our wedding is May 17th, 2015. Our wedding isn't anything super fancy but it's not super duper casual either. I believe we are expecting about 125 guests. It is really not in our budget to get someone to cater our wedding so we are catering ourselves and having family help serve the food.

I am just wanting some feedback on if baked spaghetti would be tacky. Please don't be rude though, I am just asking for help, not judgement! 

Thanks for your input!!!

I would highly recommend finding a way to find room in your budget for a caterer. It can be pasta dishes cooked at your local supermarket. You are not going to want to cook on your wedding day. Beyond that, do you have an experience cooking for 125 people? It's an entirely different beast then cooking for 12.

esstee33

Baked spaghetti isn't tacky, but I have the same concerns as everyone else about the actual undertaking of cooking for 125 people. You're going to need to make sure you have the equipment to keep the hot food hot and cold food cold, as well as serving utensils and plateware, which could all be not necessarily inexpensive. Not to mention that your family are your guests and shouldn't be put to work. In short, self-catering for that large a group is likely going to be a nightmare that's going to have you running around like crazy on your wedding day. 

I'm also wondering about your venue -- presumably they allow outside food to be brought in? Do they have anything there to use for serving food? Can you hire banquet servers somewhere? 

ETA: Also concerned about the lack of non-bread or pasta food options. What other options will you have for people who can't / don't eat bread or pasta? Salad alone doesn't make a very filling meal. 

atlastmrsg

Having a caterer would be wise.  You need to keep the food an appropriate temperature, replenish it, clean up spills, have person clearing plates, have person emptying trash when it gets full...

Also, check and see if your event venue will allow you to self cater.  This may not be okay with them.

ETA: this menu is not vegan or gluten free friendly at all.  I'd be eating salad (if cheese isn't on it yet) and/or just fruit since I'm on a no-dairy food isolation diet right now and baked spaghetti has bubbly cheese on top and the bread is already buttered and potentially cheese-d.  Which means I'd come to ceremony, stay long enough to congratulate you, maybe grab a snack if the fruit looks really good, then leave and get a full meal somewhere that I can actually eat the food.

MGP

Knottie07416629 said:

Bake spaghetti

Salad (with variety dressings)

toast (garlic bread, texas toast, etc. whatever you want to call it)

fruit bar

tea 

water

lemonade

wedding cupcakes

we are catering ourselves and having family help serve the food.

Menu wise, it to too heavy on gluten, carbs and sugar.  You need to add more proteins and veg otherwise your guests managing these things are pretty much left with lettuce and water.

Logistics wise, self catering is a very bad idea.  There are too many issues between food safety, transport, handling, serving, cleanup, and overall time invested.  Even if you are a trained professional, self catering your own wedding is quite literally a recipe for disaster.

Etiquette wise, it is very inappropriate to have your family serve as your labor.  This is horribly rude.  Please explain why you think their time is better spent doing work than enjoying your wedding.

Cost wise, you will probably not save as much money as you think once you cost out ingredients, equipment, serve ware, utensils, and storage.  Did you also budget for plates, glasses, and flatware?

Please, please, please get a caterer.

lovegood90

It's completely inappropriate to have your family (who are guests at your wedding) serve food at your wedding. You need to find room in your budget to hire someone to do this. Your guests should never be 1) opening their wallets 2) doing ANY kind of work at your wedding. Period.

climbingsingle

I legitimately have an allergy to wheat. So the only thing I'd be able to eat at your wedding is salad and fruit. Please consider having another option. 

Have you and and your family ever fed 125 people? It is a HUGE undertaking. Just because cooking up some spaghetti for you and your FI is easy doesn't mean it's easy to do in a larger scale. 

Your family members shouldn't have to work your wedding. Cooking/serving is a lot of work! Are these people also going to have to clean up? It's rude to put your guests to work. 

southernbelle0915

I have no problem with either menu. I would add more greens/veggies (less starch) to the BBQ one and more protein to the Italian one, but outside that, they both sound really good!

However, are you planning to cook food for 125 people? That is a logistical NIGHTMARE. Are you planning to hire people to set up/serve/tear down? Who will do that if you don't hire people? It's inappropriate to ask your guests to help since the reception is supposed to be your way of saying "thanks for attending our ceremony" - you don't want it to be "thanks for attending our ceremony - now get to work!"

jacques27

Your menu it too carb heavy.  As someone who is gluten-free, I could only eat the fruit and maybe the salad if you didn't put croutons on it.  As someone who has a family full of diabetics, they would have a hard time making a diabetic friendly meal out of that.

We recently had a work event where we bought large pans of penne in red sauce and penne in alfredo sauce.  Then we brought in crockpots and large temp-controlled roasters and had meatballs and baked chicken breasts on the side that were originally purchased from Costco.  We also had steamed broccoli and green beans held in crocks.  This way, vegetarians could opt out of meat and it was WAY cheaper to do it this way than our original plan of getting trays of meat and vegetarian lasagna.  Restaurants and delis may be cheaper than you think - remember to factor in the cost of your time and stress, too.

As others have said, your reception is a thank you to your guests for coming to your ceremony.  Your family is included as "guests".  Do not make your family work for their own thank you.  They deserve to enjoy their thank you the same as any other guest.  Rework your budget and pay people to help serve and clean up - they don't have to be caterers.  I guarantee you will one day look back and not give a darn about whether you had centerpieces or boutonnieres or programs, but you will likely regret that you and/or your family was stuck in the kitchen for some or all of your reception and unable to truly enjoy the party. 

Do you belong to a church - maybe the high school youth group is saving for a trip somewhere and would appreciate working for a donation to that?  Do your friends or family have high school age kids/friends saving up for a school trip?  My high school orchestra went to Europe every three years and my high school marching band did summer trips - maybe some of those kids would jump at the chance to earn a little money towards that.  Put up a flyer at your local technical school that has a culinary program.

Knottie07416629

Thank you for ALL of your responses, even some of the snarky ones. 

Having other options: The 125 guests we are inviting, we actually know quite personally. We know that they do not have any gluten, vegetarian, diabetic, etc. issues. 

The venue does allow us to self cater as they do not require a licensed caterer. The venue has a full service kitchen along with the heater things you place the food on when its out on buffet. We bought all of our plates, utensils, napkins, etc. from Costco. They aren't the cheap plastic stuff though, they actually are very nice. The ONLY thing we don't have is the serving utensils. 

About the family helping serve food thing, I agree. Which is what made us start looking for caterers when we first started planning our wedding. However, when my family asked about the cost a caterer and I told them, they were the ones who expressed wanting to help and would serve the food. I am still bouncing around the idea because I want the family to be able to celebrate with us. 

Again, thank you all for your help. Even though the main point is this was if baked spaghetti was tacky or not, I will continue to search for caterers. 

Thanks. 

southernbelle0915

Knottie07416629 said:

Thank you for ALL of your responses, even some of the snarky ones. 

Having other options: The 125 guests we are inviting, we actually know quite personally. We know that they do not have any gluten, vegetarian, diabetic, etc. issues. 

The venue does allow us to self cater as they do not require a licensed caterer. The venue has a full service kitchen along with the heater things you place the food on when its out on buffet. We bought all of our plates, utensils, napkins, etc. from Costco. They aren't the cheap plastic stuff though, they actually are very nice. The ONLY thing we don't have is the serving utensils. 

About the family helping serve food thing, I agree. Which is what made us start looking for caterers when we first started planning our wedding. However, when my family asked about the cost a caterer and I told them, they were the ones who expressed wanting to help and would serve the food. I am still bouncing around the idea because I want the family to be able to celebrate with us. 

Again, thank you all for your help. Even though the main point is this was if baked spaghetti was tacky or not, I will continue to search for caterers. 

Thanks. 

I don't even think you have to search for caterers. Hire a few high school kids you know who want to make some money to do this. Or some kids from a local culinary school. Or as @jacques27 suggested, some kids from a local youth group wanting to make some money.

I understand your family offered. My family offered to do lots of stuff that would have taken them away from celebration and into a service role, too. But, even if they're willing, just tell them thanks but no thanks. Everyone will be happier this way.

MGP

Knottie07416629 said:

About the family helping serve food thing, I agree. Which is what made us start looking for caterers when we first started planning our wedding. However, when my family asked about the cost a caterer and I told them, they were the ones who expressed wanting to help and would serve the food. I am still bouncing around the idea because I want the family to be able to celebrate with us.

It sounds like deep down you know this isn't appropriate.  Even though your family offered, be the bigger person and find a way to pay non-guests to do the work.  People have given you some great suggestions.

Good luck.

Jen4948

Knottie07416629 said:

Hey y'all! 

I need some feedback because I am not finding ANYTHING on google about it at the moment.

Our original reception menu was:

BBQ (with buns and variety of sauces)

slaw

baked beans

sweet potato casserole

fruit bar

sweet tea

water

lemonade

wedding cupcakes

We just made our own baked spaghetti tonight that was amazing!! We made the joke of how easy and more simple this would be for wedding food, and then we actually started considering it. So this would be our new menu:

Bake spaghetti

Salad (with variety dressings)

toast (garlic bread, texas toast, etc. whatever you want to call it)

fruit bar

tea 

water

lemonade

wedding cupcakes

People would begin eating around 5:15pm. Our wedding is May 17th, 2015. Our wedding isn't anything super fancy but it's not super duper casual either. I believe we are expecting about 125 guests. It is really not in our budget to get someone to cater our wedding so we are catering ourselves and having family help serve the food.

I am just wanting some feedback on if baked spaghetti would be tacky. Please don't be rude though, I am just asking for help, not judgement! 

Thanks for your input!!!

I like your first menu, but your family should not be serving or otherwise "working" your reception.

My family had to help set up and clean up after my cousin's wedding because she didn't hire anyone. We were livid.

mikenberger

Allow me to share my cautionary tale about self catering.

My best friend, I was her MOH. She informs me, "We're doing all the food ourselves, but don't worry my Mom and aunts are going to take care of everything. We got servings trays/warmers, there's a full kitchen etc. It'll be so easy and SO much cheaper." She was all about cheap that one (So much that she actually got mad I didn't use her $2 off coupon for my hair. Another story.) So we get to the venue, nothing has been set up. Her aunt didn't want to bail out of the ceremony to go and set up anything. 

So we waited in awkward silence because there was no DJ until the food could be put out. Then the MOB comes up to me "I need your help in the kitchen." By the end of the evening, my dress is dirty, my hair is flat from all the steam and running around, my make up has all but ran from my face. Did I get to enjoy the reception? No. Did I get to look cute for the reception? No. Did I get to dance around with my newly married best friend? No. I looked a hot f'n mess all because she wanted to save some money and do it herself. Nevermind that the food wasn't served properly, some was hot, some was cold. Pretty sure the mayo dressed salads got too warm, I refused to touch them.

It was awful. It sounds like from your posts you're already thinking about catering. Please. Please do. Even the best of organizers can't pull off a catering event for that amount of people. It's best left to the professionals.

Coalette2013

Have you thought about inquiring at your local grocery store? A lot of grocery stores offer a lot of services that you might not think of. Our grocery store did all of our flowers (they were gorgeous and a fraction of the price) and they offered up to a certain level of catering services but we already had a caterer. Just a thought. 

Good luck with everything!

ohannabelle

Have you ever cooked for 125 people before, or planned a menu, shopping list, scheduled prep time, organized serving for that many people?

This will cost you more than you probably imagine.

Italian restaurants can frequently cater for the same or less than the cost of DIY.  They're buying food in large wholesale quantities, for much less than you can buy it. They already have the cooking and serving equipment that you don't, and you'll have to buy. 

Do your math, first. Sit down and really figure out your purchasing cost.

Example:

If I make an average company coming decent quality spaghetti for 6 people, meat, tomatoes, tomato sauces, onions, peppers, garlic, herbs, seasonings, wine (less than a cup for flavor) parmigiana cheese, all purchased either on sale or at a discount grocery store, being frugal, I'm spending about 24.00. 

Multiply x 6 for 120 guests, so I'd count on a very modest 168.00 for spaghetti ingredients.

12 loaves of French bread, about 25.00. That's only one 1/2 inch slice per guest, so I would double it. Call it 50., and another 5 for butter. 55.00

If you save yourself trouble and buy a premixed bag salad, at about 69 cents per serving, about 82.00 on green salad. Add another 12 for dressing. About an even 100. Nobody got croutons, or any extras that I usually do at home. I'm being frugal. Bare bones salad. 

I'm already at roughly 400.00 in ingredients, and I haven't even bought the fruit for the fruit bar, the beverages, the cupcakes, the 8-10 serving pans you'll need for the spaghetti, the trays or baskets for bread, serving utensils, ice, beverages, pitchers, glasses, napkins, flatware, plates. Does your venue have the oven space for heating 10 pans? And then you need to broil or toast your bread. 

If you're serving buffet style, you should count in about 20 extra servings per hundred, because some people will take a little more than a calculated serving. People who can't eat meat or pasta or whatever will eat extra fruit or salad. People who don't care for tomato based spaghetti will take extra bread.

(Do you have a headache, yet? I'm almost there.) 

Just roughly estimating, I'm looking at an easy 1100 dollars. And I'm a damned good frugal shopper.

You're going to be shopping prepping cooking for an easy three full days. 

Go over to Olive Garden and check out their catering menu. You can order a pan of spaghetti that feeds 6 from Olive Garden for 26.00. A combination meal with bread, salad, assorted pastas and ice tea starts at 7 dollars per person. (My family would disown me if I served Olive Garden, but lots of people like it, and it's a mid priced range, so I'm using it as a pricing example.) 

Cheaper than doing it myself, without question. I can give everyone bread salad pasta dinner for less than the cost of ingredients and disposable serving ware. 

And I'm not cooking. Shop around, talk to Italian restaurants. 

Edit to fix crappy math. 

Knottie07416629

Thanks again for all of your input! Yesterday, my fiance' and I went to a (this sounds totally opposite of what you would think) fancy BBQ restaurant! We asked them about catering and found that we could feed 125 people for EVERYTHING we want and with 3 hours of service for a great price and only $200 more than we would have paid for doing it ourselves. BBQ may not be everyone's idea of wedding food, but it best represents my fiance' and I and I'm so glad we stuck with the original menu! Thanks again for all of your help! 

mikenberger

Knottie07416629 said:

Thanks again for all of your input! Yesterday, my fiance' and I went to a (this sounds totally opposite of what you would think) fancy BBQ restaurant! We asked them about catering and found that we could feed 125 people for EVERYTHING we want and with 3 hours of service for a great price and only $200 more than we would have paid for doing it ourselves. BBQ may not be everyone's idea of wedding food, but it best represents my fiance' and I and I'm so glad we stuck with the original menu! Thanks again for all of your help! 

BBQ is fantastic wedding food. If it's wrong, I don't want to be right. Sounds awesome!

lyndausvi

My DH is an executive chef.  That is his profession.   He has done banquets for THOUSANDS of people.  He knows his shit.

One day a bunch of his chef friends and food and beverages friends (bartenders, managers, etc) were sitting around talking and self-catering a wedding came up. Now these are people who do this for a living, then know their shit.   Every single one of them them said "oh hell NO!".      EVERY ONE.

Number one reason?    They all wanted to be able to enjoy their wedding.  They also want their friends/family to enjoy the wedding too.

 They all know how time consuming it is.  They know it's not "easy".  They know prep work starts DAYS before.  Finding space for all the items is a chore in itself.   Then know they have to work in the morning to start to setup.  Yep, my DH(and/or his staff) show up at 8am for a 6pm wedding to start getting ready.   Other staff start showing up as early as 1-2 pm to start to setup. 

Just something to think about.

Knottie091071

So happy for you! It's so hard to stick to what YOU and your fiancé want for your wedding. BBQ is delicious, and (not sure if this evidence is valuable) I've seen girls win on the show Four Weddings with BBQ food. SO basically, people will love it, and if they don't, Oh well!! Its your day and you should be happy with all the choices you make. (Spaghetti would've been awesome too!) Congrats on finding a great deal. Hope you have a great wedding!

esstee33

Knottie07416629 said:

Thanks again for all of your input! Yesterday, my fiance' and I went to a (this sounds totally opposite of what you would think) fancy BBQ restaurant! We asked them about catering and found that we could feed 125 people for EVERYTHING we want and with 3 hours of service for a great price and only $200 more than we would have paid for doing it ourselves. BBQ may not be everyone's idea of wedding food, but it best represents my fiance' and I and I'm so glad we stuck with the original menu! Thanks again for all of your help! 

Oh, AWESOME!!! This is going to be SO much better for you guys and your families. 

Also I love BBQ. I would do unholy things for BBQ. A+.

Casadena

We had a local grocery store cater, and it ended up being about 1/3rd of the cost of any other caterer we looked at. The food was fantastic and it was super affordable.  

[Deleted User]

Knottie07416629 said:

Thanks again for all of your input! Yesterday, my fiance' and I went to a (this sounds totally opposite of what you would think) fancy BBQ restaurant! We asked them about catering and found that we could feed 125 people for EVERYTHING we want and with 3 hours of service for a great price and only $200 more than we would have paid for doing it ourselves. BBQ may not be everyone's idea of wedding food, but it best represents my fiance' and I and I'm so glad we stuck with the original menu! Thanks again for all of your help! 

So glad you are going this route. I think it will make your wedding day more relaxing and enjoyable for you since you won't have to worry about preparing & serving food & then the clean up afterwards. I think your menu will be wonderful.