After Party Enclosure

wolfpackpride

We are having an early Saturday wedding. It is a 11:00 am ceremony with lunch reception. I have chosen just to serve champagne at the reception because most of my family doesn't drink and it is early in the day. 

So I want to have an after party late that night at a local bar. I am not sure how to word the after party enclosure.

Do I need to rent a private room? If I do, do I need to a decor budget to go with the rental.

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I am planning on putting a tab in the bar, but I wasn't going to pay the extra to rent a room in the back out as a private area.

</edit>

mikenberger

wolfpackpride said:

We are having an early Saturday wedding. It is a 11:00 am ceremony with lunch reception. I have chosen just to serve champagne at the reception because most of my family doesn't drink and it is early in the day. 

So I want to have an after party late that night at a local bar. I am not sure how to word the after party enclosure.

Do I need to rent a private room? If I do, do I need to a decor budget to go with the rental.

If you are having an after hours party and putting in inserts, I would say that you are hosting the event and I would expect some sort of free drink or hosting to occur, which would probably include a private room. For decor, I would think minimal decor, but possibly table/chairs for people to mingle around.

Maggie0829

mikenberger said:

wolfpackpride said:

We are having an early Saturday wedding. It is a 11:00 am ceremony with lunch reception. I have chosen just to serve champagne at the reception because most of my family doesn't drink and it is early in the day. 

So I want to have an after party late that night at a local bar. I am not sure how to word the after party enclosure.

Do I need to rent a private room? If I do, do I need to a decor budget to go with the rental.

If you are having an after hours party and putting in inserts, I would say that you are hosting the event and I would expect some sort of free drink or hosting to occur, which would probably include a private room. For decor, I would think minimal decor, but possibly table/chairs for people to mingle around.

This.  I would be expecting free drinks and food in a private space of a bar or club or whatever.

Why not just have the type of reception you want the first time around rather then hosting two parties on the same day?

southernbelle0915

If I were in your shoes, I'd just put something on the website about it. Like "We'll be at XYZ bar at 8pm if anyone would like to join." That tells me it's optional and I wouldn't expect that you're hosting anything. 

If you have it in the invitations and say something like "After party will be at 8pm at XYZ bar. See you there!" I would think it was part of the event and that you were hosting the event. 

My vote = website, non-committal/casual wording vs. invitation, "after party"/formal wording

KatWAG

If you add this as a part of the invited, I would expect it to be completely hosted.

As in, I am not bringing $1 with me.

Like others have suggested, I would just tell people to meet you at a bar later in the night.

[Deleted User]

southernbelle0915 said:

If I were in your shoes, I'd just put something on the website about it. Like "We'll be at XYZ bar at 8pm if anyone would like to join." That tells me it's optional and I wouldn't expect that you're hosting anything. 

If you have it in the invitations and say something like "After party will be at 8pm at XYZ bar. See you there!" I would think it was part of the event and that you were hosting the event. 

My vote = website, non-committal/casual wording vs. invitation, "after party"/formal wording

Even being on a website would make me think it was hosted.  Now, if you went strictly word-of-mouth, then I would say it wouldn't be hosted.  Personally, if you're hosting it, even if you're inviting everyone to everything, it seems like you just have a really huge gap in the middle of your event which is very uncool.  And what if you don't feel like going to the afterparty yourself?  Just have your wedding and your early reception.  Then, if you're feeling up for more socializing around 5pm or so, text a few of your local friends or the people you know are staying in the hotel and tell them you were thinking of going to grab a few drinks and apps at Location at Time, spread the word.

Knottie13257900

I've never been to an after party that wasn't hosted (and they were all by word of mouth). That being said, I wouldn't blink twice if I had to buy my own drinks either.

wolfpackpride

Maggie0829 said:

mikenberger said:

wolfpackpride said:

We are having an early Saturday wedding. It is a 11:00 am ceremony with lunch reception. I have chosen just to serve champagne at the reception because most of my family doesn't drink and it is early in the day. 

So I want to have an after party late that night at a local bar. I am not sure how to word the after party enclosure.

Do I need to rent a private room? If I do, do I need to a decor budget to go with the rental.

If you are having an after hours party and putting in inserts, I would say that you are hosting the event and I would expect some sort of free drink or hosting to occur, which would probably include a private room. For decor, I would think minimal decor, but possibly table/chairs for people to mingle around.

This.  I would be expecting free drinks and food in a private space of a bar or club or whatever.

Why not just have the type of reception you want the first time around rather then hosting two parties on the same day?

I am having the reception I want. Both the ceremony and reception our focused on us and our relationship and since I don't really drink and it is earlier in the day.

But, I would like to meet up people afterwards. I don't really drink, but my fiance and our friends do. I am just trying to figure out how to organize something like that.

wolfpackpride

adk19 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

If I were in your shoes, I'd just put something on the website about it. Like "We'll be at XYZ bar at 8pm if anyone would like to join." That tells me it's optional and I wouldn't expect that you're hosting anything. 

If you have it in the invitations and say something like "After party will be at 8pm at XYZ bar. See you there!" I would think it was part of the event and that you were hosting the event. 

My vote = website, non-committal/casual wording vs. invitation, "after party"/formal wording

Even being on a website would make me think it was hosted.  Now, if you went strictly word-of-mouth, then I would say it wouldn't be hosted.  Personally, if you're hosting it, even if you're inviting everyone to everything, it seems like you just have a really huge gap in the middle of your event which is very uncool.  And what if you don't feel like going to the afterparty yourself?  Just have your wedding and your early reception.  Then, if you're feeling up for more socializing around 5pm or so, text a few of your local friends or the people you know are staying in the hotel and tell them you were thinking of going to grab a few drinks and apps at Location at Time, spread the word.

So my fear with word-of-mouth is that I am having a wedding for 150 people. A large portion, let's say more than half, are from out of town. I would hate to have people think they are excluding them. I also don't really know how to contact that many people 'casually' to an event afterwards. 

I know that we are going to want to go to the after party. We have reserved a drink trolley for the bridal party prior to going out. So that isn't really an issue. I am planning on putting a pretty substantial tab at the bar. Would that make it okay to put it on the website?

wolfpackpride

Knottie13257900 said:

I've never been to an after party that wasn't hosted (and they were all by word of mouth). That being said, I wouldn't blink twice if I had to buy my own drinks either.

So I am covering drinks, so they won't have to pay for drinks (at least for the first 2 hours). I just wasn't planning sure if I need to rent a private room. I would rather put the $750 on drinks then reserving a back room that I probably won't go in since the dance floor is out front. 

Do you think it is okay to have people in a shared space?

cincystacy

Wow, some people's expectations are pretty high.  When I get invited to a wedding I don't expect to get anything for free.  I am going to celebrate the union of a loved one, it isn't about me and what I am getting.  I would say your idea sounds great and a private space is not needed.  Also I think you hosting the bar is extremely generous!  

ShesSoCold

cincystacy said: Wow, some people's expectations are pretty high.  When I get invited to a wedding I don't expect to get anything for free.  I am going to celebrate the union of a loved one, it isn't about me and what I am getting.  I would say your idea sounds great and a private space is not needed.  Also I think you hosting the bar is extremely generous!  


__________________________________________________________________
This makes me sad. You're a guest - you shouldn't expect to pay for anything. 

Edited because silly me thought boxes might work.

Butterflyz419

wolfpackpride said:

adk19 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

If I were in your shoes, I'd just put something on the website about it. Like "We'll be at XYZ bar at 8pm if anyone would like to join." That tells me it's optional and I wouldn't expect that you're hosting anything. 

If you have it in the invitations and say something like "After party will be at 8pm at XYZ bar. See you there!" I would think it was part of the event and that you were hosting the event. 

My vote = website, non-committal/casual wording vs. invitation, "after party"/formal wording

Even being on a website would make me think it was hosted.  Now, if you went strictly word-of-mouth, then I would say it wouldn't be hosted.  Personally, if you're hosting it, even if you're inviting everyone to everything, it seems like you just have a really huge gap in the middle of your event which is very uncool.  And what if you don't feel like going to the afterparty yourself?  Just have your wedding and your early reception.  Then, if you're feeling up for more socializing around 5pm or so, text a few of your local friends or the people you know are staying in the hotel and tell them you were thinking of going to grab a few drinks and apps at Location at Time, spread the word.

So my fear with word-of-mouth is that I am having a wedding for 150 people. A large portion, let's say more than half, are from out of town. I would hate to have people think they are excluding them. I also don't really know how to contact that many people 'casually' to an event afterwards. 

I know that we are going to want to go to the after party. We have reserved a drink trolley for the bridal party prior to going out. So that isn't really an issue. I am planning on putting a pretty substantial tab at the bar. Would that make it okay to put it on the website?

I agree. I always wonder about these things that are supposed to be passed by "word-of-mouth"--given how many circles of people you're likely to have at an average size wedding and given the fact that people aren't going to talk to everyone and some may forget to mention what they've heard, and all of those people who might know someone else at the wedding but isn't friendly enough basis where they'd just chat on their own to hear...well I just think that's asking for hurt feelings/people feeling left out. Nor do I have the time to individually contact every single person to let them know. I mean, I've been to plenty of weddings where I'm not close enough to other guests to necessarily hear something like this through the grapevine and short of hearing it directly from the couple, I might feel presumptuous to assume I was welcome if I simply overheard somethings about an after party.

I'm planning on doing informal ice cream social the night before my wedding and brunch the day after. Not hosted, just going to the plaza of shops by the hotel and telling people they're free to come hang out with us during that time, but I'm not relying on word of mouth. I'm going to mention it on the website and put the info on the sheet I'm including with the welcome bags. Even this won't necessarily reach 100% of guests, but hopefully people do check the website.

[Deleted User]

You're going to be greeting everyone at the wedding right?  You'll be doing table visits to say hello to everyone?  "Hi everyone.  Great to see you all.  Hey, before I forget, we're getting together at so-and-so bar at 9 tonight if you want to join us.  Ask my dad if you need directions.  Anyway, it's so great to see you all!  I'm so glad you could make it.  How's the chicken?  I chose the beef, it was pretty good, but the apps were really amazing, hope you got some of those.  Anyway, see you on the dance floor."

Knottie13257900

Absolutely yes, it is ok.

wolfpackpride said:

Knottie13257900 said:

I've never been to an after party that wasn't hosted (and they were all by word of mouth). That being said, I wouldn't blink twice if I had to buy my own drinks either.

So I am covering drinks, so they won't have to pay for drinks (at least for the first 2 hours). I just wasn't planning sure if I need to rent a private room. I would rather put the $750 on drinks then reserving a back room that I probably won't go in since the dance floor is out front. 

Do you think it is okay to have people in a shared space?

AddieCake

Our ceremony was early and the reception over by 2:00. We had an after party around 9:00 later at a bar, and we just used word of mouth to invite people. We were not paying for their drinks, though. I think table visits at the reception is a great idea for you to pass this on.

wrigleyville

cincystacy said:

Wow, some people's expectations are pretty high.  When I get invited to a wedding I don't expect to get anything for free.  I am going to celebrate the union of a loved one, it isn't about me and what I am getting.  I would say your idea sounds great and a private space is not needed.  Also I think you hosting the bar is extremely generous!  

The couple is hosting a reception as a "thank you" to the guests. By hosting, that means the couple pays for food, beverages, DJ, the hall, etc. You shouldn't have to pay for anything at the reception. Ever. If you do, you were not properly hosted.

hellohkb

southernbelle0915 said:

If I were in your shoes, I'd just put something on the website about it. Like "We'll be at XYZ bar at 8pm if anyone would like to join." That tells me it's optional and I wouldn't expect that you're hosting anything. 

If you have it in the invitations and say something like "After party will be at 8pm at XYZ bar. See you there!" I would think it was part of the event and that you were hosting the event. 

My vote = website, non-committal/casual wording vs. invitation, "after party"/formal wording

I agree with this. Word of mouth or perhaps a quick blurb on your wedding website is appropriate.