Honeymoon Fund

ShortFani89

Hello there, 

I would like to get opinions on a Honeymoon Fund. Not the online ones that take part of your money, but one of my contacts for decorations has offered this and says it should be OK, but I want to make sure this is not rude and good etiquette?

lovegood90

It's still rude because you're still asking for money. Just don't register and people will most likely give you cash anyway. Super simple solution without being rude.

slothiegal

Knottie23274138 said:

Hello there, 

I would like to get opinions on a Honeymoon Fund. Not the online ones that take part of your money, but one of my contacts for decorations has offered this and says it should be OK, but I want to make sure this is not rude and good etiquette?

It is very rude and completely against etiquette.

larrygaga

Knottie23274138 said:

Hello there, 

I would like to get opinions on a Honeymoon Fund. Not the online ones that take part of your money, but one of my contacts for decorations has offered this and says it should be OK, but I want to make sure this is not rude and good etiquette?

Everyone's opinion here is that honeymoon funds are rude. It is rude to expect gifts and it is rude to dictate said gift. Make a gift registry and do not put the registry on your invites/save the dates/whatever and you will be polite and set. If you do some searching on this forum you can read more about wedding gift etiquette.

Thank you for coming here to double check!

mikenberger

Knottie23274138 said:

Hello there, 

I would like to get opinions on a Honeymoon Fund. Not the online ones that take part of your money, but one of my contacts for decorations has offered this and says it should be OK, but I want to make sure this is not rude and good etiquette?

Now if you shouldn't make an online one, why do you think one live and in person is a good idea? No. Nope. Not at all. I'd probably side-eye it MORE if it was right in front of me. At least if it's online I can completely ignore it and your poor etiquette.

If you want money, don't register for gifts. People are not stupid. They know you want money. Some people are going to give you boxed gifts regardless of your poor etiquette and Honeymoon Fund.

Please don't.

jacques27

A honeymoon is just a vacation.  Would you ask people to fund any other vacations you take?

Go walk up to a coworker right now and say "I really want to take a vacation in Italy.  Can I have $100 for my vacation?"

If your coworker hasn't slapped you or responded with "Yeah, I'd like a vacation, too, but right now my portfolio is kind of tied up in food and shelter and keeping those pesky kids alive" then consider yourself lucky.

southernbelle0915

No.

Jen4948

It's rude.

Maggie0829

jacques27 said:

A honeymoon is just a vacation.  Would you ask people to fund any other vacations you take?

Go walk up to a coworker right now and say "I really want to take a vacation in Italy.  Can I have $100 for my vacation?"

If your coworker hasn't slapped you or responded with "Yeah, I'd like a vacation, too, but right now my portfolio is kind of tied up in food and shelter and keeping those pesky kids alive" then consider yourself lucky.

Love this!

climbingsingle

It's tacky and rude. Don't do it. 

levioosa

It's rude and tacky.  Don't do it.

PrettyGirlLost

Knottie23274138 said:

Hello there, 

I would like to get opinions on a Honeymoon Fund. Not the online ones that take part of your money, but one of my contacts for decorations has offered this and says it should be OK, but I want to make sure this is not rude and good etiquette?

Just.No!

Would you ever ask your family and friends to give you money for a vacation?  No?  Then why would you think it's ok just because that vacation is called a Honeymoon?

pinkcow13

Like others said, it's tacky and rude. Just because you are getting married it does not mean you are entitled to a honeymoon. Some people can't even afford to go on vacations, and to have them pay for your vacation (that is essentially what a honeymoon is), is rude. 

Just because it is a "thing" now, does not make it okay. The wedding industry is all about money, and they will come out with ways to make money, ettiquette out the window. I had a similar question when I first heard about honeyfunds, but the more I stuck around on these forums, I realized just how tacky they are, no matter how they are portrayed.

Liatris2010

Knottie23274138 said:

Hello there, 

I would like to get opinions on a Honeymoon Fund. Not the online ones that take part of your money, but one of my contacts for decorations has offered this and says it should be OK, but I want to make sure this is not rude and good etiquette?

Are you asking abour registering for decorations? Yes, that is rude. You are hosting a party for your guests. Do not ask the guests to subsiize or pay for any part of that party, including decorations, drinks or anything else.

 

If you are asking about any sort of registry where people give cash to you for your honeymoon, yes that is rude. Registering for cash, or asing for it is rude. A registry is for your guests. If they want to get you linens or china, it helps them pick a size/pattern you like. Cash doesn't come in sizes or patterns, so you don't need to help our your guests by telling them you like it. Everyone knows cash can be used to buy things. They don't need a registry to figure it out.

annathy03

Honeymoon registries are a big no-no, and something that pays for part of the wedding is just as bad if not worse.

The worst part of honeymoon registries is that they're deceiving to guests since they think they're getting you an excursion/dinner/whatever but they're really getting you a check minus a processing fee.  I've heard of some on cruises or whatnot where they actually book whatever someone gets which are less offensive since there is no deception, but that's still not appropriate.

Wedding registries are to help a guest know your tastes so they don't have to ask what color bath towels you prefer or what pattern of China you'd like, and to lessen the chance of getting multiples you then have to return.

Things you will use together on an ongoing basis are fine too which is why you'll see people agreeing that camping gear or board games are ok if both partners will use it.  Putting things you can only use once on a registry is rude, regardless if it's a honeymoon excursion or groceries.  Snorkel gear you can bring on multiple trips during your marriage?  Cool.  Snorkel excursion?  Nope.  Cookware?  Thumbs up.  Chicken?  Hell no.  Bathroom rug?  Yep.  Shampoo?  Tacky.

If a couple doesn't need much, they shouldn't register for much.  Everyone knows cash is a welcome gift, especially for newlyweds.

lyndausvi

Knottie23274138 said:

Hello there, 

I would like to get opinions on a Honeymoon Fund. Not the online ones that take part of your money, but one of my contacts for decorations has offered this and says it should be OK, but I want to make sure this is not rude and good etiquette?

You want your guests to pay for the decorations?

Well that is a new one.

Simple, it's tacky to registry for 5, 10, 20, 50 or 100 dollar bills (or whatever your currency might be). It's downright mind blowing one would registry for decorations for a party they are hosting.  

novella1186

climbingwife said:

It's tacky and rude. Don't do it. 

levioosa said:

It's rude and tacky.  Don't do it.

This just made me laugh. Great minds... 

ohannabelle

I want you all to give me money. I intend to spend it on a vacation. I know that you don't mind, because you like me. 

(I just really have to see if this asking for money thing works. There's a guy up the street with a cardboard sign, and it must be working for him, because he's there every day. Pretty sure he's spending it on beer, though.)

[Deleted User]

ohannabelle said:

I want you all to give me money. I intend to spend it on a vacation. I know that you don't mind, because you like me. 

(I just really have to see if this asking for money thing works. There's a guy up the street with a cardboard sign, and it must be working for him, because he's there every day. Pretty sure he's spending it on beer, though.)

I can appreciate it when the homeless guy has a sign that says, "Need money for beer."  I mean, I still don't give him anything, but I like the honesty.

jacques27

adk19 said:

ohannabelle said:

I want you all to give me money. I intend to spend it on a vacation. I know that you don't mind, because you like me. 

(I just really have to see if this asking for money thing works. There's a guy up the street with a cardboard sign, and it must be working for him, because he's there every day. Pretty sure he's spending it on beer, though.)

I can appreciate it when the homeless guy has a sign that says, "Need money for beer."  I mean, I still don't give him anything, but I like the honesty.

I like our local "Need money for beer/weed" guy.  Let's face it, the five bucks in my pocket isn't going to be the difference between this guy having interview clothes, a job, and an apartment and him sleeping at the shelter, so drink up if it makes life a little more tolerable for you.

That said, I generally don't give anything anymore.  Not after a woman called into our local radio station bragging about how she takes her two small children with her and they stand on the side of a highway off-ramp with a sign saying they need money...and then use the money to FUND THEIR VACATION!  Then when people called in livid that this woman was doing this, she kept digging her heels in that what she was doing was perfectly acceptable because she wasn't lying...they do need the money or else they wouldn't be able to go on vacation.  It's not her fault that people don't ask and just give her money of their own free will.

Viczaesar

Knottie23274138 said:

Hello there, 

I would like to get opinions on a Honeymoon Fund. Not the online ones that take part of your money, but one of my contacts for decorations has offered this and says it should be OK, but I want to make sure this is not rude and good etiquette?

I don't understand what this even means.

mikenberger

Viczaesar said:

Knottie23274138 said:

Hello there, 

I would like to get opinions on a Honeymoon Fund. Not the online ones that take part of your money, but one of my contacts for decorations has offered this and says it should be OK, but I want to make sure this is not rude and good etiquette?

I don't understand what this even means.


BOXES....

I'm guessing she's saying like a jar or other object in which to shove your monies into aptly named "Honeyfund"

ohannabelle

mikenberger said:

Knottie23274138 said:

Hello there, 

I would like to get opinions on a Honeymoon Fund. Not the online ones that take part of your money, but one of my contacts for decorations has offered this and says it should be OK, but I want to make sure this is not rude and good etiquette?

I don't understand what this even means.

BOXES.... I'm guessing she's saying like a jar or other object in which to shove your monies into aptly named "Honeyfund"

This sort of thing genuinely pisses me off- when vendors and planning professionals encourage bad etiquette. It's just irresponsible. If you're going to be in a business that involves hosted events, by God, know the rules associated with it. Good manners make excellent parties.

JCbride2015

mikenberger said:

Knottie23274138 said:

Hello there, 

I would like to get opinions on a Honeymoon Fund. Not the online ones that take part of your money, but one of my contacts for decorations has offered this and says it should be OK, but I want to make sure this is not rude and good etiquette?

I don't understand what this even means.

BOXES.... I'm guessing she's saying like a jar or other object in which to shove your monies into aptly named "Honeyfund"

Ewwwwww I didn't even think of that.

OP, just no!  And run for the hills away from this vendor!

ShortFani89

Thank you for the response but dont appreciate the sarcasm and you being rude with your typing. I was just asking for more opinions since one of my vendors says it was fine and has had people it before. And the benefit to not doing it online IS online sites takes part of profit . Thanks

mikenberger

Knottie23274138 said:

Thank you for the response but dont appreciate the sarcasm and you being rude with your typing. I was just asking for more opinions since one of my vendors says it was fine and has had people it before. And the benefit to not doing it online IS online sites takes part of profit . Thanks

No, the greatest and BEST benefit of it all is that you're not asking your guests for money. Which is totally. completely. utterly. bad etiquette. 

A fantastic sidebar is that you get all of your money if you just don't do the above mentioned things.

ETA: Just because you can doesn't mean you should. This is the old "If everybody jumped off a bridge, would you!?" scenario.

lyndausvi

Knottie23274138 said:

Thank you for the response but dont appreciate the sarcasm and you being rude with your typing. I was just asking for more opinions since one of my vendors says it was fine and has had people it before. And the benefit to not doing it online IS online sites takes part of profit . Thanks

Your vendor said he has had people donate money towards decorations?    That is just crazy.

Not that he suggested it,  I mean come on, they just want the money, they don't care where it comes from.     I just can't believe people actually think that's a good idea?

Liatris2010

Knottie23274138 said:

Thank you for the response but dont appreciate the sarcasm and you being rude with your typing. I was just asking for more opinions since one of my vendors says it was fine and has had people it before. And the benefit to not doing it online IS online sites takes part of profit . Thanks

It is never okay to ask for money or gifts. A cutesy jar is just as rude as a cutesy website. Your decorator gives bad advice.

[Deleted User]

Maggie0829

Knottie23274138 said:

Thank you for the response but dont appreciate the sarcasm and you being rude with your typing. I was just asking for more opinions since one of my vendors says it was fine and has had people it before. And the benefit to not doing it online IS online sites takes part of profit . Thanks

Asking for money is rude.  Period.  Whether it be in the form of a website, a jar, a ridiculous dollar dance, or some sort of other cheesy/tacky idea you find on Pinterest.

squiggle104

Knottie23274138 said:

Thank you for the response but dont appreciate the sarcasm and you being rude with your typing. I was just asking for more opinions since one of my vendors says it was fine and has had people it before. And the benefit to not doing it online IS online sites takes part of profit . Thanks

Don't bother to ask any opinion on anything on this site, all of these people are just rude and sarcastic, I got the same attitude when I posted a question earlier and all I wanted was some input just like you...