Wedding Woes

My rude boss tries to force volunteerism on my family

Dear Prudence,
I work for a small affiliate of a large, nationally-known nonprofit. We have fewer than 10 employees and are often short on volunteers, so I put in many hours of volunteer time. The problem is that my family is expected to help out as well. They do not like my boss because she can be rude and makes them uncomfortable. Though they support what we do, they are reluctant to participate if she is around. One of my roles in the organization is to be the “nice face” and smooth things out with donors, volunteers, and clients, but often she is rude to me as well. We live in a small town and all of us are involved in community projects, so their absence is conspicuous. How do I explain to my boss that my family is unwilling to help without hurting her feelings?

—Don’t Want to Hurt My Cause

Re: My rude boss tries to force volunteerism on my family

  • I think it's odd that the family is required to attend too.
    image
  • I think it's odd that the family is required to attend too.

    Yeeeaahhhh...super weird, small town or not.

    I previously had a (big) boss who liked to throw parties at his house, often work related, but not always.  For one of these, my immediate supervisor warned me that he had already asked her if she and her DH could come early and clean the patio furniture/do some landscaping.  To which she said no.

    He often wanted some of his employees to "come early and help set up"...which I actually didn't mind doing.  But the more hard, dirty labor of cleaning up the patio furniture and trimming weeds was just WAY too much.  I warned my DH before we went he might be asked to do this and told him to just politely say no.  He was asked and bean-dipped with the best of 'em!  He said something like, "I'd prefer to not do that, but I'll be happy to cut up these veggies." 

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • "Bean-dipped", eh? Always nice to spot an Etiquette Hellion. ;)
    image
  • My parents always took us along on their volunteer things, but it wasn't because they were required to -- it's kinda weird if it's required.

  • I think it's odd that the family is required to attend too.

    Yeeeaahhhh...super weird, small town or not.

    I previously had a (big) boss who liked to throw parties at his house, often work related, but not always.  For one of these, my immediate supervisor warned me that he had already asked her if she and her DH could come early and clean the patio furniture/do some landscaping.  To which she said no.

    He often wanted some of his employees to "come early and help set up"...which I actually didn't mind doing.  But the more hard, dirty labor of cleaning up the patio furniture and trimming weeds was just WAY too much.  I warned my DH before we went he might be asked to do this and told him to just politely say no.  He was asked and bean-dipped with the best of 'em!  He said something like, "I'd prefer to not do that, but I'll be happy to cut up these veggies." 

    I'd think something like this was odd even in the case where the employee was a personal assistant for the askee. (completely ignoring the spouse - when in the hell would they even be involved?) Even in the case of my boss asking me - "I'd be happy to make some calls for you, and find a local vendor to provide those services. Should I charge it to your pro-card?"

    If i had a boss who expected me /my family to give up our personal time to "volunteer"  for the company or to clean their home, I'd be looking for a new job. 
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards