Inviting to ceremony and not reception? HELP!

huskypuppy14

Lizzieyounce

AddieCake said:

OP, what kind of shoes will you be wearing?

To hell with her shoes.  I want to know about the cake!

Anywho, the butt hurt is strong in the OP

mollybarker11

shellc104 said:

I never said my situation was different did I? I simply asked for opinions on the situation...But apparently it is too much to ask to get some straight, respectful input...there's always got to be people that have to be rude and say I'm not special and my idea is "Shitty"...Couldn't just say "Yes, ShellC, that would be rude"

If you didn't think your situation was different you wouldn't have included a bunch of different reasons for not inviting all the guests to your reception, you would have simply asked if it's rude to only thank 85 out of 200 guests for coming to your wedding.

Most people did say "Yes, that would be rude" (along with offering helpful advice and resources). One person called the idea "shitty" and you took it personally. Everyone is just trying to help you plan a nice event. Your responses have been immature and bratty. Again, that's not a personal judgement against you as a person, just some insight on how your actions come across to others so you can learn to do better.

zitiqueen

shellc104 said:

I would like everyone's honest (and respectful) opinion on the situation of inviting people to the ceremony and not to the reception.

Blow me.

fieryredsam

shellc104 said:

I did respond to the one's that were nice at first, I said thank you to them and then all I got in response was "This is not an opinion, it's just so rude, blah blah blah" So I'm done responding to the people who were being nice because now everyone is just being mean and rude! Why bother? I think all you people do is sit here and watch for people to be mean to! I just read another post where everyone was just as ignorant and rude to her from the beginning at you all were to me! This site, at least these boards, is so friggin pointless and full of bull shit drama it's like I'm in high school all over again!

And that was how long ago again?

rcher912

shellc104 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

shellc104 said:

ShesSoCold said:

shellc104 said:

Yes, I figured since everyone was being rude to me, I may as well be rude right back, why should I be nice when I asked for respect and didn't get it?

Yes, very very mature. This attitude will take you far. 

Yes, and so will yours

I know you are, but what am I? LOL nice!

Seriously, shellc... You asked a question you pretty much knew was against etiquette. Then you got a boat load of responses that were not rude. You got ONE that you think was rude and you throw a total fit and carry on for several pages about said rudeness. 

If you think it makes sense for people to take the high road and not respond if they don't have nice things to say (as you asked people to do for your OP), then why didn't you just respond to the 15 or so people who you did not think were rude? Why pick the ONE response out of the crowd to make a big deal about? 

It would seem that you talk the talk, but don't exactly walk the walk. Me thinks MUD.

I did respond to the one's that were nice at first, I said thank you to them and then all I got in response was "This is not an opinion, it's just so rude, blah blah blah" So I'm done responding to the people who were being nice because now everyone is just being mean and rude! Why bother? I think all you people do is sit here and watch for people to be mean to! I just read another post where everyone was just as ignorant and rude to her from the beginning at you all were to me! This site, at least these boards, is so friggin pointless and full of bull shit drama it's like I'm in high school all over again!

Ladies, I believe that is final confirmation of MUD.

drunkenwitch

Has she called us fat and ugly yet? I almost have a bingo.

Dreamergirl8812

Old people need to party like it's 1999 too.

justsie

I CANNOT

Dreamergirl8812 said:

Old people need to party like it's 1999 too.

brittanykaylachandler

Cessi02

squiggle104 said:

I said I was done responding to the people that were being nice, I didn't say I was done responding to all of you whiny people that are full of bullshit that have been making me laugh with every response for the past hour or so

I posted a question earlier this month and got the same kind of rude comments from pretty much the same people. People are bold behind the keyboard and "not sugar coating" things is just an excuse to be rude because your question was answered by other posters respectfully.

ShesSoCold

I love when people think we're so totally rude and it's only because we're on the internet. No, you have bad, tacky, etiquette-disapproved ideas and we're telling you that. If a friend asked me for my opinion, I'd answer the same way.

lyndausvi

Cessi02 said:

squiggle104 said:

I said I was done responding to the people that were being nice, I didn't say I was done responding to all of you whiny people that are full of bullshit that have been making me laugh with every response for the past hour or so

I posted a question earlier this month and got the same kind of rude comments from pretty much the same people. People are bold behind the keyboard and "not sugar coating" things is just an excuse to be rude because your question was answered by other posters respectfully.

yeah, no.

If my friend suggested inviting the old people to just the ceremony to leave space for the young folks to be able to attend the reception I would tell them to their face they are being rude.

There is nothing okay with her question.  The reason she can't find the right wording is it's wrong.

drunkenwitch

Cessi02 said:

squiggle104 said:

I said I was done responding to the people that were being nice, I didn't say I was done responding to all of you whiny people that are full of bullshit that have been making me laugh with every response for the past hour or so

I posted a question earlier this month and got the same kind of rude comments from pretty much the same people. People are bold behind the keyboard and "not sugar coating" things is just an excuse to be rude because your question was answered by other posters respectfully.


I'm just as blunt in real life as well.

PrettyGirlLost

fieryredsam said:

shellc104 said:

I did respond to the one's that were nice at first, I said thank you to them and then all I got in response was "This is not an opinion, it's just so rude, blah blah blah" So I'm done responding to the people who were being nice because now everyone is just being mean and rude! Why bother? I think all you people do is sit here and watch for people to be mean to! I just read another post where everyone was just as ignorant and rude to her from the beginning at you all were to me! This site, at least these boards, is so friggin pointless and full of bull shit drama it's like I'm in high school all over again!

And that was how long ago again?

Like 20mins ago?

PrettyGirlLost

ShesSoCold said:

I love when people think we're so totally rude and it's only because we're on the internet. No, you have bad, tacky, etiquette-disapproved ideas and we're telling you that. If a friend asked me for my opinion, I'd answer the same way.

This. If you think I'm a snarky bitch now, we'll you'd think I was IRL too. That's the crowd I run with. . .I'm actually the nice one!

short+sassy

I see things have gotten a bit heated.  But, OP, I hope you have definitely at least picked up that it is a huge etiquette no-no to have different invite lists and is insulting and hurtful to your guests to be invited to the ceremony, but not the reception.  Your two best options to avoid this are below:

1) Rent the larger space that can accommodate your entire guest list.

2) Cut your guest list to the 85 people your reception can hold.  Another thought on this is can the reception area comfortably hold 85 people.  If not, I think Option 1 is your best bet.

I suspect it will be easier to cut the guest list down than you are thinking.  One thing I see all the time on these boards is brides feeling like they need to invite every aunt, uncle, and first cousins.  You don't.  You can invite none and be within perfect etiquette.  You can invite only the aunt and uncle you are in regular contact with and not the other three who you speak to once in a blue moon.  You can invite one first cousin and none of the rest you haven't spoken to since childhood.  Or any combination of any of that.

There aren't many of us on here that didn't need to cut someone from their wedding they would have liked to have invited, given unlimited resources.  But alas, very few of us have unlimited resources!  And so it is necessary to strike the right balance between what the venue holds/budget and the guests to be invited.