Sending Invites After Save The Dates

runningtomywedding

I have recently sent out save the dates for my summer wedding. A couple people have already told me they will not be able to make it (one is in another wedding that weekend, one has a family reunion across the country). Do I still send them invitations? I know that normally whoever gets save the dates also gets invited, but knowing they can't come I feel like it will look like I am just asking for a gift or something. They are both pretty good friends of mine (one is a really good friend- actually asked her to be a bridesmaid but she is in another wedding that that same day).

fwtx5815

runningtomywedding said:

I have recently sent out save the dates for my summer wedding. A couple people have already told me they will not be able to make it (one is in another wedding that weekend, one has a family reunion across the country). Do I still send them invitations? I know that normally whoever gets save the dates also gets invited, but knowing they can't come I feel like it will look like I am just asking for a gift or something. They are both pretty good friends of mine (one is a really good friend- actually asked her to be a bridesmaid but she is in another wedding that that same day).

You should still send these people invitations. You never know what could happen between now and the wedding, they may become available and able to attend. Not sending an invitation, even though it's clear you're coming from a good place, would be impolite.

AddieCake

Yes, you should still send an invitation.

NYCMercedes

Plans change all the time. Send an invitation.

kimissodope

I would have to disagree with previous posters. If one of your friends is already in a wedding the same day, what would be the possibility of them attending yours, unless they drop out of the other wedding, or it is called off altogether? I would send one to the friend who has the family reunion, but I would not send one to the other.

lyndausvi

Plans change.  Even weddings getting cancelled.

Jen4948

Yes. Sending them invitations makes clear that you want them there if things change and they can come after all. Even if they don't change, sending them invitations lets them know that you would have liked them to come had it been possible for them to attend.

AddieCake

kimissodope said:

I would have to disagree with previous posters. If one of your friends is already in a wedding the same day, what would be the possibility of them attending yours, unless they drop out of the other wedding, or it is called off altogether? I would send one to the friend who has the family reunion, but I would not send one to the other.

You send it because the person is still invited, even if he or she cannot attend.

southernbelle0915

It's not about whether they can come, it's about sticking to etiquette and telling hen they're still invited. We had people who were going to be out of the country and for sure not coming. We still sent them and invite so they knew they were welcome.

[Deleted User]

We got a STDate from friends of FH's for their wedding the same day as my sister's DW.  FH saw them pretty regularly, so I'm sure they knew we'd be going to my sister's wedding and would miss theirs.  They didn't send us an invitation.  I was a little bummed.  I like thinking about and remembering my friends on or just before their weddings even if I can't be there.  I send them good vibes through the distance.  I didn't get to do this because, having not received the invitation, I forgot they were getting married.  It wasn't until I was clearing off the bulletin board that I saw their STDate and asked FH why we never got the invitation.  Again, I was bummed.

runningtomywedding

Thanks, all of this makes total sense and it's now really obvious that I should still send an invite! I was leaning that way before, but these boards have me all paranoid about doing anything that could possibly seem like I was just fishing for gifts, so I was starting to doubt it. Thanks for the clarification!