Wedding after babies

Knottie16022764

Is anyone else getting married after they have already had kids? My fiancé and I have 2 beautiful boys together and for personal reasons we have postponed our wedding until now. We want it to be special, but I also feel a bit weird because we have been common law married for years and own a house already. I've had some negative responses about it and just wanted to see other brides perspectives. Is it silly to be planning a wedding? We are hoping to have a small intimate destination wedding and will be asking family not to buy gifts because there isn't anything we need since we have been living together for over 5 years.

Denise40

It's still your wedding! Have the wedding of your dreams. This is my second marriage after being married for 31 years and it's going to have the ceremony, the dress and reception. FI and I have been living together for 2 years. Don't worry about what others think! Congrats

[Deleted User]

Our son will be 1.5yrs at our wedding in Nov. we own our house together, we even got married in vegas. but, we want the traditional wedding ceremony to celebrate with friends and fam. who cares what other people say - if they don't like it, they don't have to come. it'll save you money! it's not silly and it's still a special time. enjoy it!

flutteringinfl

Unless you have already signed a marriage contract, I don't think most people would consider you married. I think it's silly for people to be telling you not to get married just because you have children and have been living together for awhile. So what? It's not like you're already married (I know you're common law married, but I still think that's different from what you want to do). That would be a situation where I would feel like you're not planning a "real" wedding. But I don't think this would be a PPD.

hteverywhere15

mrstaraboo said:

Our son will be 1.5yrs at our wedding in Nov. we own our house together, we even got married in vegas. but, we want the traditional wedding ceremony to celebrate with friends and fam. who cares what other people say - if they don't like it, they don't have to come. it'll save you money! it's not silly and it's still a special time. enjoy it!

Except the original poster is not legally married (unless her state recognizes common law marriage, which very few do). What you're having is not actually a wedding. It's not silly at all to have kids first and then have a wedding later, but it is pretty silly to get married and then have a party later that you pretend is a wedding. 

flutteringinfl

mrstaraboo said:

Our son will be 1.5yrs at our wedding in Nov. we own our house together, we even got married in vegas. but, we want the traditional wedding ceremony to celebrate with friends and fam. who cares what other people say - if they don't like it, they don't have to come. it'll save you money! it's not silly and it's still a special time. enjoy it!

No.

[Deleted User]

actually, it's not pretending. it's a very real wedding with a very real amount of money being spent. Who is to say that you can't have a wedding just because you had a baby? Why would that privilege be taken away from me, her, or anyone else? My 'wedding' in vegas was just me and my husband and 2 friends. I'd like to have the wedding I always dreamed of. My parents would like to see their daughter get married. My grandparents would like to see me getting married. Just because i already have a piece of paper doesn't mean I don't deserve any less. Sorry but I also have a very real job where I can't just take all the time in the world off for a wedding right away. 

hteverywhere15

mrstaraboo said:

actually, it's not pretending. it's a very real wedding with a very real amount of money being spent. Who is to say that you can't have a wedding just because you had a baby? Why would that privilege be taken away from me, her, or anyone else? My 'wedding' in vegas was just me and my husband and 2 friends. I'd like to have the wedding I always dreamed of. My parents would like to see their daughter get married. My grandparents would like to see me getting married. Just because i already have a piece of paper doesn't mean I don't deserve any less. Sorry but I also have a very real job where I can't just take all the time in the world off for a wedding right away. 

To the bolded: nobody ever said those things. Having a baby has zero to do with having a pretend wedding. 

I could not care less about someone having an anniversary party/party to celebrate their wedding/vow renewal, whatever. It's just really strange and makes no sense to me that you are already married and are calling this your wedding. Your grandparents will not watch you get married, because it already happened. 

I am pretty sure most people who get married have real jobs. Not sure why you think you're unique there...

flutteringinfl

mrstaraboo said:

actually, it's not pretending. it's a very real wedding with a very real amount of money being spent. Who is to say that you can't have a wedding just because you had a baby? Why would that privilege be taken away from me, her, or anyone else? My 'wedding' in vegas was just me and my husband and 2 friends. I'd like to have the wedding I always dreamed of. My parents would like to see their daughter get married. My grandparents would like to see me getting married. Just because i already have a piece of paper doesn't mean I don't deserve any less. Sorry but I also have a very real job where I can't just take all the time in the world off for a wedding right away. 

SIB

Money does not a real wedding make. Two people getting married is what makes it a wedding. Since you are already married, it's not a wedding. It's a celebration of your marriage. You had your wedding with you got married.

I have a full time job where I also can't take off all the time in the world for a wedding. I don't know why you think you're such a special snowflake.

luckystraw

It is not silly at all to be planning a wedding! You deserve to have that special day and hey, at least you know what you're getting into and that you guys will last!