Wedding Party

Letting your bridesmaid choose their own dresses

Hello :) I'm thinking about letting my girls choose their own dresses (within my limitations). Did you do this? Did it look nice? Thanks!

Re: Letting your bridesmaid choose their own dresses

  • Yeah, it's becoming a very common choice. There's a couple ways you can do it:

    1. Specify color, length, or fabric if you want and let them do it on their own time (e.g. any black knee-length cocktail dress).

    2. Specify designer (that has dresses in everyone's budgets) and color (if you want), and let them pick any dress from that line.

    I did the second option with Alfred Sung dresses. It worked out perfectly and 3/6 ladies have already reworn their dresses.

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  • I'm doing this and they all seem pretty happy with the options. Here's my advice:

    1. Find out their budgets ahead of time.

    2. If you pick a certain designer, go with one or more of your bridesmaids to try some styles on and see if they actually look nice on. I went to DB and Alfred Angelo and settled on DB due to cost, location and # of styles. Alfred Angelo has only a couple samples of each dress so it was hard to get an idea of how things would fit since they had like a size 2 and a 26 in each dress...

    3. Choose a fabric if you want things to look really similar - I picked the fabric my bridesmaids liked best with the most options in each color. We chose the mesh. There's 4 or 5 styles they can choose from and were all happy with those parameters. I even left color up to them (shades of purple - they all liked the plum and wisteria best)

    I'm not a super picky bride when it comes to color, style, etc. so I let them pretty much have free rein. I really just wanted them to be the same fabric, length, color (within reason) and from the same store. Also, if you want them to pick different styles, have them go on their own or in smaller groups. We went all together the first time and they keep putting on the same style even though it wasn't what they really all liked or would have chosen.

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  • I went shopping with 3 of my 4 girls and upon seeing my size 2 and size 10 bridesmaids in a dress that looked flattering on my size 24 bridesmaid, I immediately changed my mind and let them select their own.  I had them decide amongst themselves either all short or all long and they chose short...and from there I said lapis at Davids Bridal.  What I also found was that the budget I was given by them was $100...and 3 of the 4 ended up paying more because it was a dress they actually wanted...and 2 of them have gone on to wear theirs again already.
  • We did! It looked gorgeous and the BMs were VERY happy. I simply asked that they each wear a black dress that landed around the knee and black pumps. Two of them wore a dress they already had and two of them decided to buy a new cocktail dress. (We had an evening winter wedding so the black was perfect).

    Personally, I prefer non-matchy BMs and recommend not choosing a designer or even material (however, I think it looks nicer when they're either all floor length, tea length, or cocktail length). This allows your friends to buy a dress of the rack, they're more likely to wear it again, and you don't have to worry about budgets. I think it works for neutral colours (i.e. black, champagne, ivory, tan) and non-neutral colours. I would recommend having a more in-depth discussion of colour shades if you're using non-neutral colours (i.e. show images of dark greens if you're going for "emerald" or images of pale purples if you're going for "lilac"). Also, when going for colours, they may end up buying from a BM line because there may simply be more design choices.
  • I'm definitely doing this.  To be honest as long as your bridesmaids all show up in clothing they feel comfortable in, they're gonna look fine- A group of people who are visibly happy to be celebrating with you always makes for a lovely photo.

    If you want, you can specify the color or length so the dresses look good together.  I think I might just tell my bridesmaids to wear a black dress, because they probably all already have one in their closet, or would be able to find one very easily if they didn't already have one.  Plus black goes with everything so they'd be able to re-wear it later.  But I'm definitely NOT picking out dresses for them.  

    Idk, everyone is different but trying to pick out one dress that flatters all of my bridesmaids, who all have varying ages, sizes, skin tones, and style preferences, just seems like a massive pain in the ass to me and I honestly really don't care that much what they wear.  So I'm dead-set on avoiding that headache.  
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  • Best thing I did was go "Ok, you can pick any dress you want, that is this color, floor length & from David's Bridal" When I told my girls this, they were so happy. I had figured since it was the same color & length there would be no issues. The ironic thing is that the girls all ended up liking the same dress. So even though I told them they didn't have to have the same dress, they all did.
  • I am doing this. I told them the color - Royal/Cobalt Blue - and they are going to pick out whatever dress they want :) I think they are going to look fabulous.
                                 Anniversary
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  • I was in a wedding where we got to pick our own. Limits were: color, length, fabric, and from same shop on Etsy. One of the dresses ended being a different type of chiffon, but you couldn't tell unless you were looking for it. The pictures turned out fabulous!!


    I would also say make sure you tell your bridesmaids you want them all different. I went to a wedding where the 8 bridesmaids had a choice between two dresses. Six picked one and two picked the other (MOH and a bridesmaid). It looked awkward. But, the choice is yours of course! 
  • If I have bridesmaids at all I'm going to let them wear whatever they like.  I won't even be specifying color or length or fabric or designer.  My sister is going to be so confused.  
    "What do you want me to wear?"  
    "Clothes."
    "No, I mean what kind of dress are we wearing?"
    "Whatever you want."
    "But we all have to match!  What are we wearing?"
    "I've seen your closet.  You have tons of clothes.  Pick out a dress you like, that fits you nicely, that will work well with whatever shoes you decide to wear that day.  Hell, bring three dresses and decide what you want to wear that morning!  Why do women feel the need to match each other just because they'll be standing near each other in some photos?"
  • I was lucky enough to be able to pick at least the style in each wedding I've been in.

    First bride gave us a color at DB and asked that we do knee length and avoid satin.  As long as your girls have given you a budget of at least $99 this works well, DB doesn't offer much below that price point.  Also FWIW I know lots of people have great experiences with them, but they lost my dress and the only saving grace was that the bride had let us all pick different styles, because it would have been impossible to get a second one of what I'd ordered originally in time.

    Second bride told us to pick a black dress at least knee length, which looked very nice.  I've also been to a wedding where the BMs all wore floor length black dresses of their own choosing and it looked great.

    Third bride I was the only attendant and the wedding color was purple, so my sister asked me to wear the purple dress she knew I owned.
  • Hi

    I picked  5 styles and let the girls choose which dress they wanted to wear. Figured if they choose then maybe they will wear it again....especially my JR Bridesmaid 
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  • Yup, I did this! Looked great. 
    Some bridesmaids want more guidance, so giving a length and a fabric are definitely helpful.  
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  • I did it as well.

    We did DB (I got my dress there so each girl got $20 off their dress). I said "Horizon", short and satin. I even did the research on what was available and put all the styles on to one sheet and emailed it to them to save them time. My sister really loved a tea length dress... so she just got it hemmed!

    I turned out awesome and some of the girls have reworn their dresses already!
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    Anniversary
  • I just chose the color(DB Mercury), let them choose the style. They all picked short/knee length. They also chose a few different fabrics, I think it will look great together. I'm not overly concerned with anything being matchy matchy...I actually prefer the bridal parties with different styles or even different color dresses in the bridal party.
  • OP you should change your user name. In one minute I found your Facebook, your FI's Facebook and some engagement pictures. Im not a weirdo but the next guy to google your name could be.
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
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