MOH invites a non-mutual friend

akire0307

So, my MOH lives out of state and will be coming in the Monday before my big day, Saturday. We were talking about having fun together in the city with the other bridesmaids. Meanwhile, I was speaking with another bridesmaid about all of the bridesmaids sharing the cost of a 5 bedroom vacation home. All of my bridesmaids are friends from college except my sister. So, two of my out of state bridesmaids know each other and one does not. So, I was mentioning that the 3 of them could share a space and split the cost. As I spoke with one of my bridesmaids about this option, it comes up that my MOH has invited a non-mutual friend to fly in for the time prior to the wedding. 

I sort of addressed the issue by focusing on how busy everyone will be with the wedding the week prior. However, I feel really jealous, like this week is suppose to be about me making special memories with my friends, especially my MOH who is my best friend. However, she invited her other best friend to join in. How do I go about addressing this without sounding like bridezilla? 

saric83

Unless she specifically invites the friend to an event that you coordinated with just the WP gals, I think it's a non-issue.  I assume you won't be spending the entire time that whole week together, so you could very-well never even see her friend.  

southernbelle0915

akire0307 said:

So, my MOH lives out of state and will be coming in the Monday before my big day, Saturday. We were talking about having fun together in the city with the other bridesmaids. Meanwhile, I was speaking with another bridesmaid about all of the bridesmaids sharing the cost of a 5 bedroom vacation home. All of my bridesmaids are friends from college except my sister. So, two of my out of state bridesmaids know each other and one does not. So, I was mentioning that the 3 of them could share a space and split the cost. As I spoke with one of my bridesmaids about this option, it comes up that my MOH has invited a non-mutual friend to fly in for the time prior to the wedding. 

I sort of addressed the issue by focusing on how busy everyone will be with the wedding the week prior. However, I feel really jealous, like this week is suppose to be about me making special memories with my friends, especially my MOH who is my best friend. However, she invited her other best friend to join in. How do I go about addressing this without sounding like bridezilla? 

You can't really address it without sounding like a 'zilla because it's kind of a 'zilla thing to be annoyed about. Your wedding is one day - not a whole week. You get your friends for that one day. How they spend their time outside your wedding is their choice. You'd come off as possessive and controlling if you try to have this convo.

Any events you have outside the wedding aren't mandatory. So just invite her where you see fit. If she doesn't come, oh well.

WhatawagSBNy

akire0307 said:

So, my MOH lives out of state and will be coming in the Monday before my big day, Saturday. We were talking about having fun together in the city with the other bridesmaids. Meanwhile, I was speaking with another bridesmaid about all of the bridesmaids sharing the cost of a 5 bedroom vacation home. All of my bridesmaids are friends from college except my sister. So, two of my out of state bridesmaids know each other and one does not. So, I was mentioning that the 3 of them could share a space and split the cost. As I spoke with one of my bridesmaids about this option, it comes up that my MOH has invited a non-mutual friend to fly in for the time prior to the wedding. 

I sort of addressed the issue by focusing on how busy everyone will be with the wedding the week prior. However, I feel really jealous, like this week is suppose to be about me making special memories with my friends, especially my MOH who is my best friend. However, she invited her other best friend to join in. How do I go about addressing this without sounding like bridezilla? 

***********
There is no way to address this without seeming outrageous, because you are way out of line here.

The week in your life is about you for you only. During a shower or party or a rehearsal or dinner that she previously agreed to attend or hold, and the wedding, she should be with you. The rest of her time is her own life to live, not focused on you.

Maybe meals or some time, you will be together, something friends do, not wedding focused. No reason her friend cannot be there if it is not a wedding event.

If you think this is a week long team wedding you have probably seen to much bad unreality tv.

You are a grown woman, and do not need people dancing attendance on you making memories

What is she going to be so busy doing these days?

Maggie0829

akire0307 said:

So, my MOH lives out of state and will be coming in the Monday before my big day, Saturday. We were talking about having fun together in the city with the other bridesmaids. Meanwhile, I was speaking with another bridesmaid about all of the bridesmaids sharing the cost of a 5 bedroom vacation home. All of my bridesmaids are friends from college except my sister. So, two of my out of state bridesmaids know each other and one does not. So, I was mentioning that the 3 of them could share a space and split the cost. As I spoke with one of my bridesmaids about this option, it comes up that my MOH has invited a non-mutual friend to fly in for the time prior to the wedding. 

I sort of addressed the issue by focusing on how busy everyone will be with the wedding the week prior. However, I feel really jealous, like this week is suppose to be about me making special memories with my friends, especially my MOH who is my best friend. However, she invited her other best friend to join in. How do I go about addressing this without sounding like bridezilla? 

No.  Your wedding is one day, not a whole week.

Your MOH is allowed to invite a friend to travel with her.  As long as your MOH isn't insisting that her friend attend the wedding then there isn't an issue.  And truthfully, as a mature adult you should be kind to your MOH (who has traveled from out of state to attend your wedding) and extend a courtesy invite to her friend.  You never know, you may make a new friend.

The week leading up to my wedding I saw my BM and MOH the day of the rehearsal.  That is it.  The rest of the time I was doing last minute stuff and working.  If I had requested my BM and MOH be available the entire week prior to my wedding to do god only knows what they would have looked at me like I had lost my fucking mind.

OliveOilsMom

I feel like the week of your wedding you are making memories with your FI to remember forever.  Your FI is supposed to be the forever person in this situation. 

I don't think I saw any of my BP until they showed up at the church to rehearse.  I even told one BM not to come!  She lives a 2 hour drive from me.  We needed to have our rehearsal 2 days before due to the Church's schedule.  She was going to drive down after work, she's a teacher, then rehearse and attend the RD for a short time before driving back home then go to work the next day.  I told her as long as she was there when I got married, I didn't think she needed to waste so much gas money on me!

I also remember taking the week off for my BFF's wedding (it was the first wedding I was ever in) and told her I would be available to help her if she needed.  The only time I saw her before the rehearsal was when we got a mani/pedi at the salon, which was optional.

lovegood90

You don't address it at all, because it is a non-issue. You don't get a WEEK, you get a DAY. Not only is the fact that your friends are flying in an entire week before your wedding absolutely ridiculous, but you shouldn't be worrying yourself over their lodging arrangements- let them do what they want.

I hope they're coming in a week early because they genuinely want to and not because they're being voluntold to help set up or do DIYs, because that's not their job.

ETA: grammar.

redoryx

akire0307 said:

So, my MOH lives out of state and will be coming in the Monday before my big day, Saturday. We were talking about having fun together in the city with the other bridesmaids. Meanwhile, I was speaking with another bridesmaid about all of the bridesmaids sharing the cost of a 5 bedroom vacation home. All of my bridesmaids are friends from college except my sister. So, two of my out of state bridesmaids know each other and one does not. So, I was mentioning that the 3 of them could share a space and split the cost. As I spoke with one of my bridesmaids about this option, it comes up that my MOH has invited a non-mutual friend to fly in for the time prior to the wedding. 

I sort of addressed the issue by focusing on how busy everyone will be with the wedding the week prior. However, I feel really jealous, like this week is suppose to be about me making special memories with my friends, especially my MOH who is my best friend. However, she invited her other best friend to join in. How do I go about addressing this without sounding like bridezilla? 

Why on earth does your bridal party need to be there a week prior to the wedding? What are they going to be doing for those several days?