Church Wedding- should I ask his family first?

Maggie0829

Knottie15079655 said:

futuremrshistorian said:

Maggie0829 said:

larrygaga said:

Am I the only one weirded out by atheists who get married in a church? It just seems fake.

I also used to get weirded out how my childhood church would be PACKED on Christmas and Easter, and any other sunday it would be the regulars. 

I don't attend church anymore, I'm not getting married in one and I don't go on holidays. I think church is an all or nothing deal. Church should be for sincere people, right?

Agree with all of this.

H and I didn't get married in a church because we aren't religious and it would make us look like hypocrites.

I know people who shopped around for a church because they wanted one that looked good in pictures.  That is not how it is done.

And going to church only on Christmas and Easter does not make up for the other Sundays you didn't go.

Agreed, from a different perspective.  As someone who is religious, I find it downright offensive when people "church shop" just for their weddings.  A church is, among other things, a community of people, and if you have no relationship with that community, why are you getting married there?  I think the only exception to this might be if you are having some sort of destination wedding (especially if the couple lives far away but wants to get married closer to family/hometowns), and it's important to you to have a religious ceremony.

OP, if you and your FI want to get married in the church, then his family gets no say.  But it seems to me like the two of you might need to sit down and have a long and serious talk about the role religion is going to play in your marriage and your family.  Your comment that you mentioned "in passing" about having the children baptized and sending them to church school really bothered me.  This is really serious stuff.  At the same time, you need to respect that his family believes differently.  Don't throw the grandchildren out there as some teasing thing.

I said it in passing in front of the Grandmother. We don't have any kids yet but it is something that we (the FI and me) have discussed. It is my church and I went to the school so I feel that it is important and while he isn't religious he isn't against our children learning about it and making a choice for themselves when they are older.

As for the in laws being atheist...just learnt that that may or may not be true. I just heard a story about how his mother decided to try being a JW once because she liked the idea of everyone sharing and helping. Lasted less then a month. So I don't really know how I feel about all that haha

May I recommend you stop saying anything in front of his Grandmother about your possible future children and how you are going to bring them up in regards to religion?  Just doesn't seem like a good idea.  And really that is none of her business.