Bridesmaids not ordering their attire.

[Deleted User]

Hi everyone,

My wedding is about 5 months away and it's getting close to the cut off time for my bridal party to buy their dresses.   The dress shop where we found the dresses suggested that everyone order them by today.   I very politely sent everyone an email about 5-6 weeks ago reminding them of the date; I sent another one about two weeks ago.    Three girls have ordered their dresses; the remaining two have not.   As far as I know, price is not an issue. I asked each of them their budget prior to shopping.   One claims she doesn't have time to go to the dress shop because she lives further away than the other girls (the shop does take orders over the phone).  What do I do if the girls do not order their dresses?   

The dress shop clearly stated that if the dresses are not ordered by a certain time, it's possible they will not arrive on time.  Are they out of the wedding if they don't order their dresses?     How do you handle a situation like this?     My only expectation of my bridal party is to order a dress, buy some shoes (of their choice) and show up.   

[Deleted User]

On the day of your wedding, if the girls don't have their dress, they have taken themselves out of your wedding.  The dress shop didn't say they DEFINITELY wouldn't be in on time if they ordered late.  And sometimes it's possible to find the same dress used on ebay.  You warned them, they have the info, stop worrying about it.

fwtx5815

It's possible the other two are looking for used dresses online and plan to alter them. I kinda wish I had mentioned that to my BMs as an option because they all ended up spending $200 for new ones. 

Like @adk19 said, if they don't show up on the day of your wedding with the dress, they've taken themselves out of your WP. I wouldn't even worry about it if I were you, there's only so much you can do. The rest is up to them. 

zitiqueen

msbride2015 said:

Hi everyone,

My wedding is about 5 months away and it's getting close to the cut off time for my bridal party to buy their dresses.   The dress shop where we found the dresses suggested that everyone order them by today.   I very politely sent everyone an email about 5-6 weeks ago reminding them of the date; I sent another one about two weeks ago.    Three girls have ordered their dresses; the remaining two have not.   As far as I know, price is not an issue. I asked each of them their budget prior to shopping.   One claims she doesn't have time to go to the dress shop because she lives further away than the other girls (the shop does take orders over the phone).  What do I do if the girls do not order their dresses?   

The dress shop clearly stated that if the dresses are not ordered by a certain time, it's possible they will not arrive on time.  Are they out of the wedding if they don't order their dresses?     How do you handle a situation like this?     My only expectation of my bridal party is to order a dress, buy some shoes (of their choice) and show up.   

I guarantee it doesn't take five months for a BM dress to come in. Your bridal shop is pressuring you to order NOW NOW NOW because they want your money. You've still got plenty of time.

flantastic

zitiqueen said:

msbride2015 said:

Hi everyone,

My wedding is about 5 months away and it's getting close to the cut off time for my bridal party to buy their dresses.   The dress shop where we found the dresses suggested that everyone order them by today.   I very politely sent everyone an email about 5-6 weeks ago reminding them of the date; I sent another one about two weeks ago.    Three girls have ordered their dresses; the remaining two have not.   As far as I know, price is not an issue. I asked each of them their budget prior to shopping.   One claims she doesn't have time to go to the dress shop because she lives further away than the other girls (the shop does take orders over the phone).  What do I do if the girls do not order their dresses?   

The dress shop clearly stated that if the dresses are not ordered by a certain time, it's possible they will not arrive on time.  Are they out of the wedding if they don't order their dresses?     How do you handle a situation like this?     My only expectation of my bridal party is to order a dress, buy some shoes (of their choice) and show up.   

I guarantee it doesn't take five months for a BM dress to come in. Your bridal shop is pressuring you to order NOW NOW NOW because they want your money. You've still got plenty of time.

This. I suggested that everyone get their dresses by a similar timeline, which they did. They all came in within a month or two. I felt kind of silly for having suggested that they order them so early.

augsum15

msbride2015 said:

Hi everyone,

My wedding is about 5 months away and it's getting close to the cut off time for my bridal party to buy their dresses.   The dress shop where we found the dresses suggested that everyone order them by today.   I very politely sent everyone an email about 5-6 weeks ago reminding them of the date; I sent another one about two weeks ago.    Three girls have ordered their dresses; the remaining two have not.   As far as I know, price is not an issue. I asked each of them their budget prior to shopping.   One claims she doesn't have time to go to the dress shop because she lives further away than the other girls (the shop does take orders over the phone).  What do I do if the girls do not order their dresses?   

The dress shop clearly stated that if the dresses are not ordered by a certain time, it's possible they will not arrive on time.  Are they out of the wedding if they don't order their dresses?     How do you handle a situation like this?     My only expectation of my bridal party is to order a dress, buy some shoes (of their choice) and show up.   

My BM's ordered their dresses Jan 17, my wedding is Aug 2. The store I bought my own dress from told us that it's good to order the BM dresses in January to get the order placed before Chinese New Year, as they tend to close down for a week or more in the factories (if you're buying new). So it's reasonable that's why they're telling you to order the dresses now. Then if the girls need to get the dresses altered they have some time to do so without feeling rushed. But as for your actual question, if they don't get them in time it's not your fault and too bad for them. You gave them the information multiple times. If you're really worried about it, offer to order it for them yourself (keeping in mind you may not get paid back). 

Viczaesar

augsum15 said:

msbride2015 said:

Hi everyone,

My wedding is about 5 months away and it's getting close to the cut off time for my bridal party to buy their dresses.   The dress shop where we found the dresses suggested that everyone order them by today.   I very politely sent everyone an email about 5-6 weeks ago reminding them of the date; I sent another one about two weeks ago.    Three girls have ordered their dresses; the remaining two have not.   As far as I know, price is not an issue. I asked each of them their budget prior to shopping.   One claims she doesn't have time to go to the dress shop because she lives further away than the other girls (the shop does take orders over the phone).  What do I do if the girls do not order their dresses?   

The dress shop clearly stated that if the dresses are not ordered by a certain time, it's possible they will not arrive on time.  Are they out of the wedding if they don't order their dresses?     How do you handle a situation like this?     My only expectation of my bridal party is to order a dress, buy some shoes (of their choice) and show up.   

My BM's ordered their dresses Jan 17, my wedding is Aug 2. The store I bought my own dress from told us that it's good to order the BM dresses in January to get the order placed before Chinese New Year, as they tend to close down for a week or more in the factories (if you're buying new). So it's reasonable that's why they're telling you to order the dresses now. Then if the girls need to get the dresses altered they have some time to do so without feeling rushed. But as for your actual question, if they don't get them in time it's not your fault and too bad for them. You gave them the information multiple times. If you're really worried about it, offer to order it for them yourself (keeping in mind you may not get paid back). 

Your shop bullshitted you to get your money ASAP.  It's ridiculous to order bridesmaid dresses in January for an August wedding, and it's super ridiculous to blame Chinese New Year for it!

PrettyGirlLost

augsum15 said:

msbride2015 said:

Hi everyone,

My wedding is about 5 months away and it's getting close to the cut off time for my bridal party to buy their dresses.   The dress shop where we found the dresses suggested that everyone order them by today.   I very politely sent everyone an email about 5-6 weeks ago reminding them of the date; I sent another one about two weeks ago.    Three girls have ordered their dresses; the remaining two have not.   As far as I know, price is not an issue. I asked each of them their budget prior to shopping.   One claims she doesn't have time to go to the dress shop because she lives further away than the other girls (the shop does take orders over the phone).  What do I do if the girls do not order their dresses?   

The dress shop clearly stated that if the dresses are not ordered by a certain time, it's possible they will not arrive on time.  Are they out of the wedding if they don't order their dresses?     How do you handle a situation like this?     My only expectation of my bridal party is to order a dress, buy some shoes (of their choice) and show up.   

My BM's ordered their dresses Jan 17, my wedding is Aug 2. The store I bought my own dress from told us that it's good to order the BM dresses in January to get the order placed before Chinese New Year, as they tend to close down for a week or more in the factories (if you're buying new). So it's reasonable that's why they're telling you to order the dresses now. Then if the girls need to get the dresses altered they have some time to do so without feeling rushed. But as for your actual question, if they don't get them in time it's not your fault and too bad for them. You gave them the information multiple times. If you're really worried about it, offer to order it for them yourself (keeping in mind you may not get paid back). 

Your BM'S did not need to order dresses 7 months in advance. Alterations will not take that long.

Your bridal shop pressured you because they wanted your money.

ahyatt87

It may depend on the dress designer. I know my bridesmaid dresses took 5 months to come in after being ordered, which left 4 weeks for alterations.

However, if the BMs don't have dresses on the wedding day, then yes, they have removed themselves from the WP.

fwtx5815

Viczaesar said:

augsum15 said:

msbride2015 said:

Hi everyone,

My wedding is about 5 months away and it's getting close to the cut off time for my bridal party to buy their dresses.   The dress shop where we found the dresses suggested that everyone order them by today.   I very politely sent everyone an email about 5-6 weeks ago reminding them of the date; I sent another one about two weeks ago.    Three girls have ordered their dresses; the remaining two have not.   As far as I know, price is not an issue. I asked each of them their budget prior to shopping.   One claims she doesn't have time to go to the dress shop because she lives further away than the other girls (the shop does take orders over the phone).  What do I do if the girls do not order their dresses?   

The dress shop clearly stated that if the dresses are not ordered by a certain time, it's possible they will not arrive on time.  Are they out of the wedding if they don't order their dresses?     How do you handle a situation like this?     My only expectation of my bridal party is to order a dress, buy some shoes (of their choice) and show up.   

My BM's ordered their dresses Jan 17, my wedding is Aug 2. The store I bought my own dress from told us that it's good to order the BM dresses in January to get the order placed before Chinese New Year, as they tend to close down for a week or more in the factories (if you're buying new). So it's reasonable that's why they're telling you to order the dresses now. Then if the girls need to get the dresses altered they have some time to do so without feeling rushed. But as for your actual question, if they don't get them in time it's not your fault and too bad for them. You gave them the information multiple times. If you're really worried about it, offer to order it for them yourself (keeping in mind you may not get paid back). 

Your shop bullshitted you to get your money ASAP.  It's ridiculous to order bridesmaid dresses in January for an August wedding, and it's super ridiculous to blame Chinese New Year for it!

---------------------------
I was told the same thing (about Chinese New Year and getting orders in). It's not something I researched, so I personally wouldn't fault someone else for believing that it warranted some urgency.

WhatawagSBNy

msbride2015 said:

Hi everyone,

My wedding is about 5 months away and it's getting close to the cut off time for my bridal party to buy their dresses.   The dress shop where we found the dresses suggested that everyone order them by today.   I very politely sent everyone an email about 5-6 weeks ago reminding them of the date; I sent another one about two weeks ago.    Three girls have ordered their dresses; the remaining two have not.   As far as I know, price is not an issue. I asked each of them their budget prior to shopping.   One claims she doesn't have time to go to the dress shop because she lives further away than the other girls (the shop does take orders over the phone).  What do I do if the girls do not order their dresses?   

The dress shop clearly stated that if the dresses are not ordered by a certain time, it's possible they will not arrive on time.  Are they out of the wedding if they don't order their dresses?     How do you handle a situation like this?     My only expectation of my bridal party is to order a dress, buy some shoes (of their choice) and show up.   

-------

Most bridesmaid dress manufacturers will take orders up to three months in advance of the wedding and guarantee them two weeks before the wedding, a ten week turnaround. Orders 8 to 10 weeks before the wedding they want thirty dollars or so extra to pull your dresses from warehouse shelves and ship them express. And when they do, they arrive anywhere from one to three weeks before needed. Obviously one week means little time for alterations, but if no major ones are needed, who cares.

Your shop wants money and orders early so there will not be two many people wanting alterations at once in busy April May June July.

But any bridesmaid who knows this may put off ordering for two months because she knows you are rushing her needlessly. Who knows, maybe her money is tight because buying your shower and wedding present in advance put a huge dent in her budget. She is not going to tell you that. Don't push.

zitiqueen

Chinese New Year is something the bridal shop industry came up with as an excuse to get your money faster. LOL It has zero bearing on when your dress will arrive.

zitiqueen

FYI, Chinese New Year this year is February 19. It has zero bearing on any BM dresses to begin with because it's a bullshit made-up excuse but even if it was real, it would still have zero bearing on a wedding seven months from now. Or five months from now. Or next month.

levioosa

zitiqueen said:

FYI, Chinese New Year this year is February 19. It has zero bearing on any BM dresses to begin with because it's a bullshit made-up excuse but even if it was real, it would still have zero bearing on a wedding seven months from now. Or five months from now. Or next month.

I can't speak for bridal shops, but I work for a Chinese factory, and CNY is hell.  Everyone leaves for a week or more, and every year we lose about a third of our factory workers (the population can be very transient and many leave for a different job at CNY and don't come back or warn the factory about their plans).  We tell our customers they need to plan on what they'll need in that time period months in advance, because all production essentially stops (and it's really surprising how far behind stopping a week of production puts you). So the excuse isn't total BS.  

mikenberger

zitiqueen said:

msbride2015 said:

Hi everyone,

My wedding is about 5 months away and it's getting close to the cut off time for my bridal party to buy their dresses.   The dress shop where we found the dresses suggested that everyone order them by today.   I very politely sent everyone an email about 5-6 weeks ago reminding them of the date; I sent another one about two weeks ago.    Three girls have ordered their dresses; the remaining two have not.   As far as I know, price is not an issue. I asked each of them their budget prior to shopping.   One claims she doesn't have time to go to the dress shop because she lives further away than the other girls (the shop does take orders over the phone).  What do I do if the girls do not order their dresses?   

The dress shop clearly stated that if the dresses are not ordered by a certain time, it's possible they will not arrive on time.  Are they out of the wedding if they don't order their dresses?     How do you handle a situation like this?     My only expectation of my bridal party is to order a dress, buy some shoes (of their choice) and show up.   

I guarantee it doesn't take five months for a BM dress to come in. Your bridal shop is pressuring you to order NOW NOW NOW because they want your money. You've still got plenty of time.

Totally disagree. Mine were ordered Mid-October and they STILL aren't in. It's totally a-typical of bridesmaids dresses to take so long (what the hell are they doing? Whittling from a chiffon bug?) but yeah, not unheard of.