MOH issue...

Knottie23368624

 

southernbelle0915

Knottie23368624 said:

Hi all!

I currently have two MOH's..my cousin who lives out of state and a friend who lives in state. The friend MOH got engaged shortly before I did and is also getting married 5 weeks after me...it's always been known that we would be each others MOH's. The issue now is that this MOH, months ago when i told her where i'd like to have my bachelorette party decided to tell me she couldn't afford to throw me a party (all girls splitting the cost evenly of course) and perhaps not even attend it if it was out of town. I was caught off guard when she told me this because we had discussions about my party and how she would plan/throw it since the other MOH was out of state and wouldn't be attending it...With that being said my cousin MOH and another bridesmaid stepped up and offered to help out with the party but have tried involving the other MOH in things and she doesn't seem interested in helping. In fact, at this point i feel like my wedding is a big pain for her all together. She may not mean to come off that way but she has made comments regarding how close our weddings are together and how crazy it'll be, how much it costs to be in mine vs. how much it is to be in hers, etc etc...When she sent me a list of the cost comparing our weddings I asked her what she would like me to do about it at this point now that my wedding is 4 months away and if she isn't able to afford it then she just needs to let me know and i would understand...her response was "i can handle it, i'm just not footing the bill for things i think are unreasonable costs". (i.e. $60 hotel room that each girl is paying for the night before the wedding so we can all stay together and get ready together in a large family suite since its a destination wedding)....I'm at a loss as to what to do at this point because I've offered for her to drop out if it's too much cost and she says she can handle it she just didn't expect it to be as much as it is...i'm understanding that both our weddings are close together and expensive, but i'm not having any issues with being in hers, while it seems she is...I need help as to what i do from here...a number of co-workers, family and friends are saying shes not into being a part of my wedding and i should cut her loose...but i don't think it's worth ruining a friendship over...but i also want someone who is supportive and wants the best for me to be a part of it. So i'm in a lose lose situation i think. Thanks.

It kind of sounds like there are few things that may have happened here:

- Did you ask for her budget before you picked her dress?

- Are you requiring certain shoes, jewelry, other accessories?

- Are you asking for people to get hair and make up done?

- Did you expect her to throw your bachelorette, plan a shower, or other parties?

- Did you expect her to pay for an additional hotel night before the wedding?

What other costs, outside the dress, is she upset about?

Knottie23368624

to answer your questions:

- Did you ask for her budget before you picked her dress?
Another bridesmaid and I picked out a dress option at David's bridal and sent it to all the bridesmaid and told them the cost was $120 and if it was okay and all were very happy with it...I had cost in mind when doing it and i went with a style dress that people could wear again. Her dress option for her wedding was similar but cost $100.

- Are you requiring certain shoes, jewelry, other accessories?

I am providing the jewelry as part of the bridesmaid gifts because the necklaces i wanted were $22 and I thought it was too much to ask them to spend...shoes i'm going with a standard nude pump and have told them they can wear what they have if they already own a pair or i sent them a link to DSW for a cheap option that could work for them as well.

- Are you asking for people to get hair and make up done?
 I am not requiring this but i do have 2 hairdresses coming to the hotel for those that want an up-do and no make-up is not required...about half have said they want hair done, but this MOH is actually a hair stylist so she will be doing her own.

- Did you expect her to throw your bachelorette, plan a shower, or other parties?
I was expecting her to take the lead on throwing the bachelorette party (organizing, planning, booking hotels, etc.), but no other parties and she isn't doing so.

- Did you expect her to pay for an additional hotel night before the wedding?
 It is a "somewhat" destination wedding (2-4 hour drive away depending for most people) so yes all bridesmaid will be arriving to the location the day before the wedding for the rehearsal and when her and i went to check out the venue we discussed getting a suite so all of us could stay together and get ready together the day before/morning of the wedding and she agreed it was a great idea. In addition, i've sent out 3 emails to the bridal party outlining details and in this included the friday night accommodations and the $60 cost per person...it was brought up by her when i asked if she could pay me the money before the wedding so i didn't have to worry about collecting on my wedding weekend...that's when she brought up that it seemed ridiculous that i'm not covering the cost of the room.

What other costs, outside the dress, is she upset about?
 The only one she mentioned to me so far is that the $60 room accommodation is unreasonable and that its costing her double the amount i will be paying to be a part of hers. In the past she didn't like the fact that i wanted to do an out of town bachelorette party as well.

Some have said it could be a jealousy issue...our weddings are as different as can be..hers is local with a 400 guest list in a hall while mine is smaller and out of town in a barn venue...i want to hope that's not true and that deep down she wants the best for me as i do for her...but shes also brought up that as her MOH she doesn't understand why i would set my date a month before hers...and then the cost being an issue as well.

hope that helps! THanks!

OliveOilsMom

Knottie23368624 said:

to answer your questions:

- Did you ask for her budget before you picked her dress? Another bridesmaid and I picked out a dress option at David's bridal and sent it to all the bridesmaid and told them the cost was $120 and if it was okay and all were very happy with it...I had cost in mind when doing it and i went with a style dress that people could wear again. Her dress option for her wedding was similar but cost $100.

- Are you requiring certain shoes, jewelry, other accessories? I am providing the jewelry as part of the bridesmaid gifts because the necklaces i wanted were $22 and I thought it was too much to ask them to spend...shoes i'm going with a standard nude pump and have told them they can wear what they have if they already own a pair or i sent them a link to DSW for a cheap option that could work for them as well.

- Are you asking for people to get hair and make up done? I am not requiring this but i do have 2 hairdresses coming to the hotel for those that want an up-do and no make-up is not required...about half have said they want hair done, but this MOH is actually a hair stylist so she will be doing her own.

- Did you expect her to throw your bachelorette, plan a shower, or other parties? I was expecting her to take the lead on throwing the bachelorette party (organizing, planning, booking hotels, etc.), but no other parties and she isn't doing so.

- Did you expect her to pay for an additional hotel night before the wedding? It is a "somewhat" destination wedding (2-4 hour drive away depending for most people) so yes all bridesmaid will be arriving to the location the day before the wedding for the rehearsal and when her and i went to check out the venue we discussed getting a suite so all of us could stay together and get ready together the day before/morning of the wedding and she agreed it was a great idea. In addition, i've sent out 3 emails to the bridal party outlining details and in this included the friday night accommodations and the $60 cost per person...it was brought up by her when i asked if she could pay me the money before the wedding so i didn't have to worry about collecting on my wedding weekend...that's when she brought up that it seemed ridiculous that i'm not covering the cost of the room.

What other costs, outside the dress, is she upset about?  The only one she mentioned to me so far is that the $60 room accommodation is unreasonable and that its costing her double the amount i will be paying to be a part of hers. In the past she didn't like the fact that i wanted to do an out of town bachelorette party as well.

hope that helps! THanks!

I have been a BM where I have stayed in a suite with the B the night before a wedding.  This cost was always fully paid for by the B&G.  So I do think its unreasonable you are charging each girl $60 to stay there that night. 

It was wrong of you to think that your MOH would just plan and pay for a destination b-party.  Remember she is also planning her own wedding, so she is probably watching all her costs.  She probably never expected that you would require a destination b-party.  You should give her an out for that.  If she doesn't want to/cannot afford to attend, that is her right.  She is doing nothing wrong, so your family and other friends are wrong about that. 

Lower your expectations, all your MOH needs to do is buy the dress and show up on time, sober and ready for pictures. 

Knottie23368624

if you read the thread completely...you'll see that i didn't expect for her to pay the full cost of the bachelorette party and when she said she couldn't afford to throw one or attend i was caught off guard but i was fine with it and other girls stepped up to help in her place...I wanted a destination bachelorette party KNOWING that not everyone would be able to attend/able to go and i was okay with that and didn't pressure anyone into attending...in the end though she is attending, just not helping out with any of the planning.  I personally don't think it would matter where i had the party though, she would've complained regardless unless it was at her home town and no hotel cost was required.

In addition with the room, i understand what you are saying, however, staying in the suite saves the girls money...their option is to stay in the suite and pay $60 OR get their own room and pay $130-140 a night...so to me the $60 seems very reasonable. I'm not paying $600 for a suite on my own...but if others think its unreasonable then yes we could do 10 different rooms and they can pay $130 a night or share a 2 bed room and pay the same as they would for the suite...but no one else has mentioned anything to me about it or had an issue except for her. and I also gave her that option of "if its too much then you can get your own room" but she said "no i'm paying it don't worry." To which i think...why even bring it up to me then except to stress me out?

All in all, NOTHING is required of anyone except to get a dress, wear some shoes and show up in traverse city! The issue i'm having is that shes bringing up and complaining to me about my wedding when shes my MOH and causing me a ton of stress over things i can't do anything about at this point and time...i think its ridiculous that after i've sent out multiple emails about this suite and the cost that now months later when i ask her for payment she makes a fuss about it...There was one other girl who has financial issues and said unless her husband can share a room with someone (which he ended up doing) then she wouldn't be able to stay with us...i was completely understanding about it, but she ended up working it out just fine.

southernbelle0915

Knottie23368624 said:

Some have said it could be a jealousy issue...

I hope this doesn't mean you're discussing her private conversations with you with other people.....

Anyway, I read in another thread you wanted an OOT bachelorette. Often, those ARE too expensive for people. On top of everything else, it sounds like she just can't swing it. 

I guess I would just say this: this girl is your best friend. You made her MOH for that reason, not so she could throw you a party or do certain things you want her to do. If she can't afford something, she can't afford it. That's something you just can't argue with. What are you going to say? "Get a second job." No, of course not. 

Let this go. She obviously stressed out and you should be more worried about keeping your friendship strong than wedding related details.

OliveOilsMom

Knottie23368624 said:

if you read the thread completely...you'll see that i didn't expect for her to pay the full cost of the bachelorette party and when she said she couldn't afford to throw one or attend i was caught off guard but i was fine with it and other girls stepped up to help in her place...I wanted a destination bachelorette party KNOWING that not everyone would be able to attend/able to go and i was okay with that and didn't pressure anyone into attending...in the end though she is attending, just not helping out with any of the planning. 

In addition with the room, i understand what you are saying, however, staying in the suite saves the girls money...their option is to stay in the suite and pay $60 OR get their own room and pay $130-140 a night...so to me the $60 seems very reasonable. I'm not paying $600 for a suite on my own...but if others think its unreasonable then yes we could do 10 different rooms and they can pay $130 a night or share a 2 bed room and pay the same as they would for the suite...but no one else has mentioned anything to me about it or had an issue except for her. and I also gave her that option of "if its too much then you can get your own room" but she said "no i'm paying it don't worry." To which i think...why even bring it up to me then except to stress me out?

All in all, NOTHING is required of anyone except to get a dress, wear some shoes and show up in traverse city!

Oh, I read your whole tread. Generally, I think its selfish to ask people to plan any OOT b-party.  People's budget's need to be considered before any plans get started.  But you just said, I want an OOT b-party.  If you truly wanted a small group of girls at a b-party, that is fine, but you also could have done that while staying in town.

It sounds like your MOH is trying to tell you that things are adding up to be too much money, but when you push back, she just accepts the money she needs to put out.  I was a BM where the MOH kept trying to demand all these things and I finally said no because I had no more money to give.  I told that MOH that I think the bride would be pissed if she knew I was going into debt for her wedding.  What about you?  Do you care about your BMs financial wellbeing or does it not matter since the money is being spent on you?

You also forgot the other option for the hotel room, which is MOH doesn't attend the rehearsal or she goes home after the rehearsal instead of staying overnight. 

Knottie23368624

Maybe I lost this all in my communication...the issue isn't really about her financially issues and what she can/cant afford...i get it...it's the fact that she brings it up to me and then i give her ways out like "hey if you can't stand in my wedding i will totally understand-it's expensive" or "hey you don't have to stay in the suite then...you can get your own room if you don't want to pay $60" or "hey don't worry about the bach. party others will take care of it, if you are able to attend then great, but if not i understand" and after doing this...I am still getting comments/complaints about it and i have nothing left to do except scratch my head and think well great you are telling me these things and upsetting me and making me feel that my wedding is a big pain in the butt for you to be a part of...but you are still attending the party and staying in the room, etc etc and i'm not making her do any of it...so i think the comments/complaints are unwarranted and she should keep her mouth shut to the bride about it all together because there's nothing i can do about any of it...or is there?! that's what I'm reaching out here for...advice on how to handle our argument we had yesterday

Knottie23368624

southernbelle0915

I would just say: 

"I'm sorry we had a fight. You know I love you. These are really happy times for us and there's no reason to be fighting about anything. Listen, all I want is for you to stand by my side on the wedding day. I don't care about the bach, I don't care about the hotel the night before - you don't even need to be at the rehearsal (I know you know how to walk!). I just want you next to me on my wedding day. That's all."

levioosa

Knottie23368624 said:

to answer your questions:

- Did you ask for her budget before you picked her dress?
Another bridesmaid and I picked out a dress option at David's bridal and sent it to all the bridesmaid and told them the cost was $120 and if it was okay and all were very happy with it...I had cost in mind when doing it and i went with a style dress that people could wear again. Her dress option for her wedding was similar but cost $100.

- Are you requiring certain shoes, jewelry, other accessories?

I am providing the jewelry as part of the bridesmaid gifts because the necklaces i wanted were $22 and I thought it was too much to ask them to spend...shoes i'm going with a standard nude pump and have told them they can wear what they have if they already own a pair or i sent them a link to DSW for a cheap option that could work for them as well.

- Are you asking for people to get hair and make up done?
 I am not requiring this but i do have 2 hairdresses coming to the hotel for those that want an up-do and no make-up is not required...about half have said they want hair done, but this MOH is actually a hair stylist so she will be doing her own.

- Did you expect her to throw your bachelorette, plan a shower, or other parties?
I was expecting her to take the lead on throwing the bachelorette party (organizing, planning, booking hotels, etc.), but no other parties and she isn't doing so.

- Did you expect her to pay for an additional hotel night before the wedding?
 It is a "somewhat" destination wedding (2-4 hour drive away depending for most people) so yes all bridesmaid will be arriving to the location the day before the wedding for the rehearsal and when her and i went to check out the venue we discussed getting a suite so all of us could stay together and get ready together the day before/morning of the wedding and she agreed it was a great idea. In addition, i've sent out 3 emails to the bridal party outlining details and in this included the friday night accommodations and the $60 cost per person...it was brought up by her when i asked if she could pay me the money before the wedding so i didn't have to worry about collecting on my wedding weekend...that's when she brought up that it seemed ridiculous that i'm not covering the cost of the room.

What other costs, outside the dress, is she upset about?
 The only one she mentioned to me so far is that the $60 room accommodation is unreasonable and that its costing her double the amount i will be paying to be a part of hers. In the past she didn't like the fact that i wanted to do an out of town bachelorette party as well.

Some have said it could be a jealousy issue...our weddings are as different as can be..hers is local with a 400 guest list in a hall while mine is smaller and out of town in a barn venue...i want to hope that's not true and that deep down she wants the best for me as i do for her...but shes also brought up that as her MOH she doesn't understand why i would set my date a month before hers...and then the cost being an issue as well.

hope that helps! THanks!

Knottie23368624 said:

if you read the thread completely...you'll see that i didn't expect for her to pay the full cost of the bachelorette party and when she said she couldn't afford to throw one or attend i was caught off guard but i was fine with it and other girls stepped up to help in her place...I wanted a destination bachelorette party KNOWING that not everyone would be able to attend/able to go and i was okay with that and didn't pressure anyone into attending...in the end though she is attending, just not helping out with any of the planning.  I personally don't think it would matter where i had the party though, she would've complained regardless unless it was at her home town and no hotel cost was required.

In addition with the room, i understand what you are saying, however, staying in the suite saves the girls money...their option is to stay in the suite and pay $60 OR get their own room and pay $130-140 a night...so to me the $60 seems very reasonable. I'm not paying $600 for a suite on my own...but if others think its unreasonable then yes we could do 10 different rooms and they can pay $130 a night or share a 2 bed room and pay the same as they would for the suite...but no one else has mentioned anything to me about it or had an issue except for her. and I also gave her that option of "if its too much then you can get your own room" but she said "no i'm paying it don't worry." To which i think...why even bring it up to me then except to stress me out?

All in all, NOTHING is required of anyone except to get a dress, wear some shoes and show up in traverse city! The issue i'm having is that shes bringing up and complaining to me about my wedding when shes my MOH and causing me a ton of stress over things i can't do anything about at this point and time...i think its ridiculous that after i've sent out multiple emails about this suite and the cost that now months later when i ask her for payment she makes a fuss about it...There was one other girl who has financial issues and said unless her husband can share a room with someone (which he ended up doing) then she wouldn't be able to stay with us...i was completely understanding about it, but she ended up working it out just fine.

Knottie23368624 said:

Maybe I lost this all in my communication...the issue isn't really about her financially issues and what she can/cant afford...i get it...it's the fact that she brings it up to me and then i give her ways out like "hey if you can't stand in my wedding i will totally understand-it's expensive" or "hey you don't have to stay in the suite then...you can get your own room if you don't want to pay $60" or "hey don't worry about the bach. party others will take care of it, if you are able to attend then great, but if not i understand" and after doing this...I am still getting comments/complaints about it and i have nothing left to do except scratch my head and think well great you are telling me these things and upsetting me and making me feel that my wedding is a big pain in the butt for you to be a part of...but you are still attending the party and staying in the room, etc etc and i'm not making her do any of it...so i think the comments/complaints are unwarranted and she should keep her mouth shut to the bride about it all together because there's nothing i can do about any of it...or is there?! that's what I'm reaching out here for...advice on how to handle our argument we had yesterday

Knottie23368624 said:

agreed OlivesOilMom with this statement "It sounds like your MOH is trying to tell you that things are adding up to be too much money, but when you push back, she just accepts the money she needs to put out" 

I will be happy to give her the option of not attending the rehearsal or driving 2 hours back home at night to be driving back up again bright and early in the AM...seems a bit silly to me but if that's how it has to work out then that's perfectly fine with me...I'm not trying to break anyone's bank and i personally think I've been considerate about finances with the exception of the OOT bachelorette party, but i do want that and knowing she said it'd be hard to swing, i told her she didn't need to attend it. There wasn't pressure for any of it...she made the decisions to participate in all events and be a part of my wedding just as I'm doing for hers...i would be more than happy to give her any bachelorette party she wants but our styles are completely different. I'm in the same boat as her financially by planning my own wedding and being a part of hers.

I'm in a wedding two months after mine that i have to fly to Houston for and shes planning her bachelorette party in Vegas...financially I know I won't be able to attend this and she will have no problem accepting that and i will have no problem telling her sorry no can do...but what i wouldn't do is attend the bach. party and agree to be in the wedding thats out of state and then the whole time complain to her about how expensive it is for me to be a part of her wedding after i just had mine etc etc. In the end it was MY decision...it's not the brides fault...shes planning the wedding/party that SHE wants and if i can't swing it then i need to realize that from the very beginning...that's how i feel about these situations...but clearly others don't, which is great to see others perspective on it all..i do appreciate that...

JIC

Ditto Southenbelle.

Weddings are not tit for tat. And please don't assume that her problems with the wedding stem from jealousy.  Speaking/interacting with her in that mindset will definitely negatively affect the relationship. 

FWIW, I was guilted into staying in a place I couldn't afford the night before a wedding.  Apparently my absence would have ruined everything since you can't get married the next day without an all girl's slumber party the night before.  My input/budget was never asked and I was told what to pay.  The kicker?  The rental house didn't have enough beds, so I paid $70 to literally sleep on the floor, when I originally had arranged to stay at a relative's place for free ten minutes away. 

Knottie23368624

levioosa

Knottie23368624 said:

I'm not assuming that...other people are...i said i really hope that's not the case and she would want the best for me.

I'm not "guilting" anyone into anything...i've told them all if there's an issue let me know...and great if all will be resolved if she wants to save $60 then so be it! when all is said and done $60 seems like something ridiculous to argue over on both ends...which is why i said stay elsewhere if need be...but again since literally everyone attending this wedding is traveling from out of town to attend the wedding...it'll cost them $120-140 to get a room...so $60 seems like a pretty nice price...

At the end of the day she is an adult.  All that is required from her is to show up on time, sober, in good spirits and in the dress on the day of the wedding.  You don't need to over think the other aspects.  She can figure them out.  Let her know that there's a room available for $60, but you should leave it at that. She can let you know if she'd like to accept it or not.  Who knows, maybe she has previous arrangements and is staying somewhere for free.   

Take the wedding out of the equation and just work on your friendship. 

kkcc2015

Did you delete this and repost an edited version in hopes of getting different answer?

Man, if I knew how to use GIFs right now...someone help me out with an eye roll?

mikenberger

kkcc2015 said:

Did you delete this and repost an edited version in hopes of getting different answer?

Man, if I knew how to use GIFs right now...someone help me out with an eye roll?

At your service:

kkcc2015

And it's Tina Fey! You've made my morning @mikenberger

mikenberger

She must not realize that even if you delete your post.... if you've been quoted, it's there FOREVER. But A for effort!

levioosa

Knottie23368624 said:

Maybe I lost this all in my communication...the issue isn't really about her financially issues and what she can/cant afford...i get it...it's the fact that she brings it up to me and then i give her ways out like "hey if you can't stand in my wedding i will totally understand-it's expensive" or "hey you don't have to stay in the suite then...you can get your own room if you don't want to pay $60" or "hey don't worry about the bach. party others will take care of it, if you are able to attend then great, but if not i understand" and after doing this...I am still getting comments/complaints about it and i have nothing left to do except scratch my head and think well great you are telling me these things and upsetting me and making me feel that my wedding is a big pain in the butt for you to be a part of...but you are still attending the party and staying in the room, etc etc and i'm not making her do any of it...so i think the comments/complaints are unwarranted and she should keep her mouth shut to the bride about it all together because there's nothing i can do about any of it...or is there?! that's what I'm reaching out here for...advice on how to handle our argument we had yesterday

One more quote, before she tries to DD them all. 

Knottie23368624

If i had as much time on my hands as you all do...I tell you what!
The knot allows you to post in hopes that you get helpful advice back on issues that are occurring throughout your wedding planning process and my experience has been anything but great. Thank you all for that. I will gladly take my questions elsewhere than from strangers who know a small tid bit about what the real situation on hand is.  It's been a real waste of time even responding back to any of these post but if you have nothing constructive to say, then it would be best that people like you stay off this site all together.

arrrghmatey

Knottie23368624 said:

If i had as much time on my hands as you all do...I tell you what!
The knot allows you to post in hopes that you get helpful advice back on issues that are occurring throughout your wedding planning process and my experience has been anything but great. Thank you all for that. I will gladly take my questions elsewhere than from strangers who know a small tid bit about what the real situation on hand is.  It's been a real waste of time even responding back to any of these post but if you have nothing constructive to say, then it would be best that people like you stay off this site all together.

Apparently, you have enough time on your hands to come back and post defensive replies….

And you've been given some great advice. Sounds as if you don't want to take it, and already have your mind set on what you want to do. And that's your choice.

Move along, snowflake.

Edit: Spelling

thespeshulestsnowflake

Knottie23368624 said:

If i had as much time on my hands as you all do...I tell you what!
The knot allows you to post in hopes that you get helpful advice back on issues that are occurring throughout your wedding planning process and my experience has been anything but great. Thank you all for that. I will gladly take my questions elsewhere than from strangers who know a small tid bit about what the real situation on hand is.  It's been a real waste of time even responding back to any of these post but if you have nothing constructive to say, then it would be best that people like you stay off this site all together.

You do realize that we only know what you tell us and inferences we can make from that, right? No one on here that I know of is phyic.

levioosa

Knottie23368624 said:

If i had as much time on my hands as you all do...I tell you what!
The knot allows you to post in hopes that you get helpful advice back on issues that are occurring throughout your wedding planning process and my experience has been anything but great. Thank you all for that. I will gladly take my questions elsewhere than from strangers who know a small tid bit about what the real situation on hand is.  It's been a real waste of time even responding back to any of these post but if you have nothing constructive to say, then it would be best that people like you stay off this site all together.

You have received a ton of helpful advice.  You just think you're somehow special.  And creating different posts sans details about the same topic leads me to think that there is more to the story, and it's not your MOH who is acting ridiculous. 

OliveOilsMom

The ladies on this site want to make sure that you keep your friends after your wedding is over.  The wedding industry doesn't care if you keep your friends after your wedding because you will have already given them all your money. 

Remember the wedding is one day, your marriage and friendships are supposed to last a lifetime.  We are only trying to help you see that.  We all gave your constructive advice on your situation.  If you went to Wedding Bee or Wedding Wire your responses would have been OMG that bitch!  Cut her from your wedding party, she is ruining your super special day!  See the difference?  Our advice here was to help you fix and repair your relationship, not make anything worse.

levioosa

OliveOilsMom said:

The ladies on this site want to make sure that you keep your friends after your wedding is over.  The wedding industry doesn't care if you keep your friends after your wedding because you will have already given them all your money. 

Remember the wedding is one day, your marriage and friendships are supposed to last a lifetime.  We are only trying to help you see that.  We all gave your constructive advice on your situation.  If you went to Wedding Bee or Wedding Wire your responses would have been OMG that bitch!  Cut her from your wedding party, she is ruining your super special day!  See the difference?  Our advice here was to help you fix and repair your relationship, not make anything worse.

I'm pretty sure that's exactly what she wanted.  She even said she just wanted validation on her other thread. 

AddieCake

I hate when people don't get the answers they want and then say things like the posters here have too much time on their hands. That is so fucking stupid. People post here asking questions. I would think they would both expect and be glad there are people here to respond. Otherwise, what the fuck would be the point of a forum? Being available to participate in the community here does not equate to having too much time on one's hands. 

huskypuppy14

Knottie23368624 said:

If i had as much time on my hands as you all do...I tell you what!
The knot allows you to post in hopes that you get helpful advice back on issues that are occurring throughout your wedding planning process and my experience has been anything but great. Thank you all for that. I will gladly take my questions elsewhere than from strangers who know a small tid bit about what the real situation on hand is.  It's been a real waste of time even responding back to any of these post but if you have nothing constructive to say, then it would be best that people like you stay off this site all together.

The smiley doesn't negate what you said. And I think the previous posters were too nice to you. You were out of line to pretty much demand she throw you a bachelorette party. You know pre wedding parties are offered, not demanded.

Where is your MOH fiance sleeping the night before? Maybe she wants to stay with him. I wouldn't want to pay 60 dollars to stay with a bunch of other bridesmaids when I could stay with my SO for 120. 

Just remember, no one cares about your wedding as much as you do. 

PrettyGirlLost

Didn't people get their fill of girly sleepovers in grade school and high school?

Viczaesar

Knottie23368624 said:

If i had as much time on my hands as you all do...I tell you what!
The knot allows you to post in hopes that you get helpful advice back on issues that are occurring throughout your wedding planning process and my experience has been anything but great. Thank you all for that. I will gladly take my questions elsewhere than from strangers who know a small tid bit about what the real situation on hand is.  It's been a real waste of time even responding back to any of these post but if you have nothing constructive to say, then it would be best that people like you stay off this site all together.

You know what's not constructive?  "It's your day, do what you want!"