out of town mother of groom

Knottie23368624

My soon to be mother in law currently lives in Florida while we live in Michigan...we've gone to visit her and his grandma who also lives there two times in the 3 years we have been dating. The most contact I really have with her is through facebook with an occasional "hello" or commenting on pictures or something. He talks to her on the phone maybe once a month. She hasn't really tried to be involved with the wedding at all but is willing to help out financially, which is very nice. I've reached out to her a few times regarding wedding questions/details but don't get a ton in return or nothing at all via email or facebook....i'm trying to involve her a bit more but she doesn't seem to really care if she is or not...should I just assume shes fine with her lack of involvement and if she really wanted to be then she would reach out?

southernbelle0915

Knottie23368624 said:

My soon to be mother in law currently lives in Florida while we live in Michigan...we've gone to visit her and his grandma who also lives there two times in the 3 years we have been dating. The most contact I really have with her is through facebook with an occasional "hello" or commenting on pictures or something. He talks to her on the phone maybe once a month. She hasn't really tried to be involved with the wedding at all but is willing to help out financially, which is very nice. I've reached out to her a few times regarding wedding questions/details but don't get a ton in return or nothing at all via email or facebook....i'm trying to involve her a bit more but she doesn't seem to really care if she is or not...should I just assume shes fine with her lack of involvement and if she really wanted to be then she would reach out?

Some ppl are just not into weddings. That's OK. Just thank her for her contribution and ask if she has an opinion on anything you spend her money on.

allispain

southernbelle0915 said:

My soon to be mother in law currently lives in Florida while we live in Michigan...we've gone to visit her and his grandma who also lives there two times in the 3 years we have been dating. The most contact I really have with her is through facebook with an occasional "hello" or commenting on pictures or something. He talks to her on the phone maybe once a month. She hasn't really tried to be involved with the wedding at all but is willing to help out financially, which is very nice. I've reached out to her a few times regarding wedding questions/details but don't get a ton in return or nothing at all via email or facebook....i'm trying to involve her a bit more but she doesn't seem to really care if she is or not...should I just assume shes fine with her lack of involvement and if she really wanted to be then she would reach out?

Some ppl are just not into weddings. That's OK. Just thank her for her contribution and ask if she has an opinion on anything you spend her money on.

This. Some people are super into weddings. Other people are not. 

My MIL is one of the "not" - right after we got engaged, she came over to the house for dinner. She brought along an heirloom watch that she wanted me to wear at the wedding. That was pretty much the extent of her wish to be involved in the wedding-planning process. 

DH's stepmom, on the other hand, loves weddings. She wanted me to bring her dress shopping, to my fittings, to talk to the florist, etc. I didn't even meet her until after we got engaged, and even then it was only once and very briefly, so I felt uncomfortable with her attempts to get involved. I bean dipped as much as possible.

arrrghmatey

What PPS have said. 

And if you have a question you need to ask her, how about you try CALLING her. Facebook and e-mail can be so impersonal to some people.

levioosa

Some people aren't into weddings.  Seriously.  Let it go.

Knottie23368624

Thanks to most-you've been helpful and confirmed what i already was thinking...i'll leave it as it is.

and @arrghmatey thanks...we have yet to ever talk on the phone so it's a bit of an awkward relationship, which is a whole different topic on its own-but thank you for telling me something i already know regarding technology.

southernbelle0915

Knottie23368624 said:

Thanks to most-you've been helpful and confirmed what i already was thinking...i'll leave it as it is.

and @arrghmatey thanks...we have yet to ever talk on the phone so it's a bit of an awkward relationship, which is a whole different topic on its own-but thank you for telling me something i already know regarding technology.

Check your sensitivity at the door. Just because, in your opinion, the relationship is awkward doesn't mean that 1) SHE thinks it's awkward, and 2) that you can't adult-up and call her anyway.

It's just a suggestion. Take it or leave it. If you decide to leave it, fine. But no need to make a snide comment when someone took the time to read your post, think about your situation and provide you with feedback. 

Knottie23368624

half of the people are not taking the time to read my posts and others and be helpful. They are making rude and condescending remarks which are unnecessary. Was the ALL CAPS really necessary? I think not...but also a very good example about how things get mis-conveyed through technology. So my sensitivity is shot at this point and my defense is up because of all the rude comments I've had to read on my posts. 

arrrghmatey

Knottie23368624 said:

Thanks to most-you've been helpful and confirmed what i already was thinking...i'll leave it as it is.

and @arrghmatey thanks...we have yet to ever talk on the phone so it's a bit of an awkward relationship, which is a whole different topic on its own-but thank you for telling me something i already know regarding technology.

Uhh…you're welcome? And if you already know so much, then why did you even come here asking for advice?

Knottie23368624

For validation of course. Thanks to all.

ChemFanatic25

Knottie23368624 said:

For validation of course. Thanks to all.

That's the first honest answer I've seen in a long time.