Dear me,

hellosweetie1015

lolo883 said:

DaniBites said:

• When the lady at MAC Cosmetics offers you a job modeling, take it.  Don't skip it to be in your choir show.  You'll be quitting shortly
• Drink more water.  It seems to be the key to clearing up that persistent adult acne
• Go out more with your fun friends before you're old and tired.
• Stop trying so hard.
• It doesn't matter if boys like you
• Tell you dad how much you love him on April 11th.  He's going to kill himself and maybe you can save him. 

NONONONONONONONONONO.

Dear current DaniBites: YOU DO NOT CONTROL OTHER PEOPLE'S CHOICES. DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL GUILT OR RESPONSIBILITY FOR THINGS WHICH ARE NOT YOUR FAULT.

QFT.

ShesSoCold

Dear young ShesSoCold,

Korn is not good music. You're better than that. 

Love, 

Old ShesSoCold

ginnybinny17

 

• When you're a freshman in college and a store offers you 15% off if you open up a credit card with them, do not do it.  You are not responsible enough to have five credit cards, now or ever. 

VulgarGirl

lolo883 said:

DaniBites said:

• When the lady at MAC Cosmetics offers you a job modeling, take it.  Don't skip it to be in your choir show.  You'll be quitting shortly
• Drink more water.  It seems to be the key to clearing up that persistent adult acne
• Go out more with your fun friends before you're old and tired.
• Stop trying so hard.
• It doesn't matter if boys like you
• Tell you dad how much you love him on April 11th.  He's going to kill himself and maybe you can save him. 

NONONONONONONONONONO.

Dear current DaniBites: YOU DO NOT CONTROL OTHER PEOPLE'S CHOICES. DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL GUILT OR RESPONSIBILITY FOR THINGS WHICH ARE NOT YOUR FAULT.

This, a million times over this.

I attempted suicide twice. My parents always told me they loved me. My brothers always told me they loved me. My issues were internal. Yes there were external factors, but honestly...I was in an incredibly dark and painful place.

plainjane0415

ShesSoCold said:

Dear young ShesSoCold,

Korn is not good music. You're better than that. 

Love, 

Old ShesSoCold

Your old ShesSoCold needs to tell my FI this, the old one and the current one.

plainjane0415

***hugs to you @DaniBites***

climbingsingle

plainjane0415 said:

ShesSoCold said:

Dear young ShesSoCold,

Korn is not good music. You're better than that. 

Love, 

Old ShesSoCold

Your old ShesSoCold needs to tell my FI this, the old one and the current one.

I listened to Korn in HS and liked them. And then recently I downloaded a few songs, and I was like WTF is the garbage!!?!?!?

Also, hugs Dani. I'm so sorry. Please try not to hold on to the guilt. I know it's hard. 

ShesSoCold

climbingwife said:

plainjane0415 said:

ShesSoCold said:

Dear young ShesSoCold,

Korn is not good music. You're better than that. 

Love, 

Old ShesSoCold

Your old ShesSoCold needs to tell my FI this, the old one and the current one.

I listened to Korn in HS and liked them. And then recently I downloaded a few songs, and I was like WTF is the garbage!!?!?!?

Also, hugs Dani. I'm so sorry. Please try not to hold on to the guilt. I know it's hard. 

H and I tried to listen to Korn a year or so ago. We just laughed. We still knew some of the words. 

I need to locate some Limp Bizkit and see if I remember words. 

DaniBites

Thanks for the love everyone, I've been in a funk about it lately

Also is it bad that I saw Korn over the summer?  LOL

ShesSoCold

DaniBites said:

Thanks for the love everyone, I've been in a funk about it lately

Also is it bad that I saw Korn over the summer?  LOL

YES.

Also, love and hugs from me too. I understand how you feel but I hope you understand that others' emotions and struggles are out of your control. 

theycallmelinz

I love this thread, and I love seeing what you all have shared. @DaniBites, I agree with PPs. And we're here for you.

Here are mine:

-You are kind. Don't let assholes change that.

-Your sister made her choice a long time ago. Nothing you can say or do will affect her decision. Let go.

-Keep those non-blood family members close, you all will need each other one day, and they will be the best 'sisters' in the world.

-Don't hold out for a maybe. If that guy wanted to make something happen, he would. Turns out, he becomes an alcoholic and is still alone, while you're in love and about to get married.

-You don't have to have it figured out at 22. Or at 26.

-Don't regret that guy in grad school. He was a douche canoe but he taught you a lot. 

-Your mom is doing her best and she loves you. She'd do anything to make you happy.

-Don't buy that motorcycle. 

-You aren't broken, and don't need fixing. 

-Treasure the memories with the one who broke your heart, but let him go when you know it just isn't going to work.

-Don't go meet that guy. You know he has baggage, and you can't fix him. Save yourself months of confusion and fear.

-Don't risk a great thing for momentary entertainment.

-Get a dog. He will help you survive the loneliness of being 4 hours from your family and friends.

novella1186

MagicInk said:

lolo883 said:

DaniBites said:

• When the lady at MAC Cosmetics offers you a job modeling, take it.  Don't skip it to be in your choir show.  You'll be quitting shortly
• Drink more water.  It seems to be the key to clearing up that persistent adult acne
• Go out more with your fun friends before you're old and tired.
• Stop trying so hard.
• It doesn't matter if boys like you
• Tell you dad how much you love him on April 11th.  He's going to kill himself and maybe you can save him. 

NONONONONONONONONONO.

Dear current DaniBites: YOU DO NOT CONTROL OTHER PEOPLE'S CHOICES. DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL GUILT OR RESPONSIBILITY FOR THINGS WHICH ARE NOT YOUR FAULT.

This, a million times over this.

I attempted suicide twice. My parents always told me they loved me. My brothers always told me they loved me. My issues were internal. Yes there were external factors, but honestly...I was in an incredibly dark and painful place.

Aw I love you, Ink, and I'm so glad you're here. I'm sorry you had to go through all the trauma. 

You too, Dani. I'm so sorry, but it's not your fault. Hugs. 

levioosa

@Danibites,

It was not, and never will have been your fault.  You are not responsible for the choice your father made.  I am so sorry for your loss. *Hugs*

falsara

Love you Dani and MagicInk, hugs

To former self
- don't waste that first year in Okinawa hating it, by the time you leave you'll wish you were staying

- Revel in being weird, it makes you who you are and the guys that don't understand that are assholes.

- Don't agree to be with someone just because no one else asks. You really don't like them like that and you're just wasting their time and will end up hurting them.

- Your parents' divorce is their own problem, when your mom starts using you for support and a shoulder to cry on tell her NO. It will only make it harder to extricate yourself later, and you really don't need to hear those things about dad.

- When you try to move out at 19, try going somewhere closer, it sucks being 2000 miles away from your family when your living situation turns to shit and you have no where to go.

- The awkward stage is short lived you'll grow into those long lanky limbs.

- Don't go with your boyfriend to senior prom, he's a sucky date you'll have way more fun going with the guys in a group.

- Learn to respect yourself, you are smart, pretty and have so much ahead of you.

- That guy that Randy introduces you to at the peprally is going to be your future husband, don't waste two years being friends just because you're afraid, once you jump in you'll learn so much about yourself and how relationships should be.

sassyfrass2014

I love what y'all have shared here! And hugs to @Danibites. Please don't blame yourself for someone else's internal issue. I PROMISE that you are not responsible. 

Here goes mine!

• Please keep complaining about your stomach aches after you eat. Hurting when you digest is NOT normal! Save yourself some pain and damage.
• On that note, beer isn't all that great for your body. Quit trying to pretend you even enjoy it. The reason everyone else likes it is because it doesn't cause them pain.
• Travel everywhere at every opportunity.
• Don't worry about Middle School girls... don't worry about high school girls. You will grow into who you are and so will they. You'll find the true love-of-your-life friends.
• Don't go to that Phi Delt party. I know your Little Sis begged you to go but you will get drugged by a creepy dude.
• THANK GOD EVERY DAY FOR THE BLESSING THAT IS YOUR LITTLE SIS WHO GOT YOU THE HELL OUT OF THERE
• Embrace your inner weirdo. She will lead you to the best friendships you've ever had. 
• Don't trap yourself in a box for anything: your personality, your career, your major, any of it.
• You are capable of so much. You are so strong. Don't let anything that anyone says tell you any differently. 
• You're going to marry that kid from summer camp with the long hair who wears all the tie-dye. He's going to get a hair cut and start being more social, but he'll warm you up to tie-dye. This won't be a bad thing. This will be a wonderful wonderful thing.

ginnybinny17

falsara said:

• Your parents' divorce is their own problem, when your mom starts using you for support and a shoulder to cry on tell her NO. It will only make it harder to extricate yourself later, and you really don't need to hear those things about dad.

I spent about four years hating my dad because of this exact thing.  My mom used me (when I was 14) as someone to talk to about their problems.  I love her so much, but she shouldn't have done that.  She damaged my relationship with my dad for years and years and he and I still aren't as close as I wish we were.

falsara

ginnybinny17 said:

falsara said:

• Your parents' divorce is their own problem, when your mom starts using you for support and a shoulder to cry on tell her NO. It will only make it harder to extricate yourself later, and you really don't need to hear those things about dad.

I spent about four years hating my dad because of this exact thing.  My mom used me (when I was 14) as someone to talk to about their problems.  I love her so much, but she shouldn't have done that.  She damaged my relationship with my dad for years and years and he and I still aren't as close as I wish we were.

Yea, I was 18.  I thought that since I was the 'adult', my sister was 16, it was better that mom talk to me rather than her.  I didn't realize what kind of effect that would have.  It certainly didn't help my relationship with dad, even though that relationship already wasn't at it's best.  

jenna8984

Dear Jenna in high school-

• you do not need to go on a fucking grapefruit diet before each prom.
• your first love is an abusive douche but don't worry- walking away and breaking his heart is so fucking satisfying

Dear Jenna from 25 minutes ago-

• why did you eat it all?! Why have you not fucking learned in 30 years that you get tummy aches when you eat so much!

Inkdancer

Dear younger me,
You are beautiful, even though you can't see it. You are worthwhile, even though you don't know it. Lots of people love you, because you deserve to be loved. 
Put the razor down. 
Love, grown-up me.

LadyMillil

Don't be ashamed that you are smart. You got where you are today because you are brainy.

Don't believe the people that tell you that you can't do something because you're a girl.

Stop worrying that no boys want to date you. You would never have been happy with any of the boys in your high school.

Go for it with your camp co-counsellor!

When your "friend" suggests that you should secretly date you should say no. He is using you because he wants your V card.

SmileDamnit

Dear self...

...you're oh-so-annoying little sister will someday become your best friend. No, seriously. So, be careful when you put her in the refrigerator box and push her down the stair when you're playing "roller coaster".   

...being tall rocks. Never try to appear smaller than you are. It's just not Darwinian.

...do not - I repeat, do not - follow a boy to Texas after high school. Better yet, don't follow a boy anywhere. And, there's really no reason to ever go to Texas.

...debt is not your friend and will never be your friend. Don't let the bitch tie you down.

...this too shall pass. So, when it's good live it up, cuz it won't last forever; and when it's bad hang in there, cuz it won't last forever.

...Smile, damn it!

beachyone15

SmileDamnit said:

Dear self...

...do not - I repeat, do not - follow a boy to Texas after high school. Better yet, don't follow a boy anywhere. And, there's really no reason to ever go to Texas.

Rude.

[Deleted User]

Dear me, 

You are going to make a lot of mistakes in your life. You are going to do some things that you will hang your head in shame about for years to come. You are going to do some things that you tell yourself that you would write a letter to your past self about and warn her not to do them. 

And then, a few years later, you are going to be sitting here, typing this, and telling your past self that you are not going to try to circumvent any of those past mistakes. Every heartache, every moment of embarrassment, every tear shed, and every pang of anger resulted in personal growth. You are the person you are today because of the mistakes you made. And who you are today is someone who has finally learned to love herself. 

SmileDamnit

beachyone15 said:

SmileDamnit said:

Dear self...

...do not - I repeat, do not - follow a boy to Texas after high school. Better yet, don't follow a boy anywhere. And, there's really no reason to ever go to Texas.

Rude.

Oops - I don't dislike aaaallll of Texas. Guess I should've clarified with, "And, there's really no reason to ever go to Texas...unless you're going to Austin, then that's cool."

beachyone15

Austin IS pretty badass.

ashley8918

SmileDamnit said:

beachyone15 said:

SmileDamnit said:

Dear self...

...do not - I repeat, do not - follow a boy to Texas after high school. Better yet, don't follow a boy anywhere. And, there's really no reason to ever go to Texas.

Rude.

Oops - I don't dislike aaaallll of Texas. Guess I should've clarified with, "And, there's really no reason to ever go to Texas...unless you're going to Austin, then that's cool."

I have no desire to ever go to Texas. Extreme heat, republicans, and guns are not my deal. No thank you very much. I'll stay up here, above the bible belt.

esstee33

I'm about 99% in the "meh, my mistakes made me a better person, and I wouldn't change any of them" boat, except: 

Dear me, 

Fucking him (or him, or him, or him, either) won't make him love you. It won't make you love yourself, either. 

Your mother and sister are mentally unstable, and they will never treat you like a human being worthy of love, and they will always be cruel to you. Even though it's scary to walk away, once you do, you'll wish you'd done it sooner. Don't be afraid to be alone, ever. You're your best company. 

Listen to the people who do tell and show you how much you mean to them. They do actually mean it and aren't saying it just to be nice, whatever your insecurities tell you. If someone makes you work for their attention and affection, you don't mean as much to them as you wish you did. 

Be weird, always. Fly your freak flag. It's the best thing about you. 

plainjane0415

 

esstee33 said:

I'm about 99% in the "meh, my mistakes made me a better person, and I wouldn't change any of them" boat, except: 

Dear me, 

Fucking him (or him, or him, or him, either) won't make him love you. It won't make you love yourself, either. 

Your mother and sister are mentally unstable, and they will never treat you like a human being worthy of love, and they will always be cruel to you. Even though it's scary to walk away, once you do, you'll wish you'd done it sooner. Don't be afraid to be alone, ever. You're your best company. 

Listen to the people who do tell and show you how much you mean to them. They do actually mean it and aren't saying it just to be nice, whatever your insecurities tell you. If someone makes you work for their attention and affection, you don't mean as much to them as you wish you did. 

Be weird, always. Fly your freak flag. It's the best thing about you. 

Love this.  

jdluvr06

I like this thread.

Dear younger and stupid self

•listen to your mom. She was not being lame and stupid. She is a very wise woman and was completely right about what she is saying.

• do not cave to the peer pressure. If you say no this one time it will save you from all the other major mistakes you are going to make.

• Insist on the MRI.

drunkenwitch

I am beautiful the size I am. My man thinks so and so does everyone who loves me.

And, I was a victim, I need to be proud I survived not ashamed that it happened.