photographer disaster- update- pics gone forever

badbnagdway

jenna8984 said:

My dad always makes me feel better. I called him one time I thought my car was stolen (but it had just been towed) and I was crying and he was like "sweet, you get a new car!"

So I called him on my way to work this morning and he was like "Nobody died. Nobody got in a horrible car accident and lost their leg. How many wedding pictures did mom & I have hanging in the house when you were growing up? None. We break them out and look through them about once every 37 years. Your uncle Bob and Jane got married at the courthouse in 1982 and they have one polaroid picture from it and it doesn't affect their life. They have a happy marriage, and a happy child, just like mom & I have, and you will too. Oh and those 5 pictures you did get- wow those are amazing. That one where you're both turned sideways walking past the flowers is my favorite, I have it on my desk, you should put that one in your house!"

I really feel better. Sure I'll be heartbroken for a while but I think I can find a way to be happy with the ones I have and a re-do.

You have an awesome dad. This is a rough and terrible story but your dad has a great perspective. 

bethsmiles

Your dad is so sweet! I'm glad he could make you feel better.

jenna8984

I meant to say happy with ones I have no not a re-do. But I left out the not!

My MOH on the phone was like "we should take some now in the snow in our dresses, then again in spring, then again in summer, and you'll have like the four seasons of your first marriage year!" DH could hear her on the phone and he's like "she fucking crazy" lol. I agree- I know she was trying to make me feel better but that's just way too much!

I have not responded to the photographer yet. She apologized a lot and told me to unleash whatever wrath I have on her. But I just want to let it sink in for a few days until I can formulate what I want to respond. Our friendship will never be the same, because yes it was a mistake but an easily preventable mistake. So I don't really know where I stand on that.

dcbride86

jenna8984 said:

I meant to say happy with ones I have no not a re-do. But I left out the not!

My MOH on the phone was like "we should take some now in the snow in our dresses, then again in spring, then again in summer, and you'll have like the four seasons of your first marriage year!" DH could hear her on the phone and he's like "she fucking crazy" lol. I agree- I know she was trying to make me feel better but that's just way too much!

I have not responded to the photographer yet. She apologized a lot and told me to unleash whatever wrath I have on her. But I just want to let it sink in for a few days until I can formulate what I want to respond. Our friendship will never be the same, because yes it was a mistake but an easily preventable mistake. So I don't really know where I stand on that.

To me, the mistake would be horrible, yes.  But the deception would be what really ruined the friendship. As you said, she could have told you about it in December, when you asked.  She didn't.  She let you go through the emotional roller coaster for 2 months.  I get she was trying to get the photos back, but she was still so dishonest.

I think it's really mature that you're waiting to respond.  I probably would not have been that mature

Couggal12

I am so sorry! Ugh, that is really shitty she lied to you for months.  

SmileDamnit

dcbride86 said:

jenna8984 said:

I meant to say happy with ones I have no not a re-do. But I left out the not!

My MOH on the phone was like "we should take some now in the snow in our dresses, then again in spring, then again in summer, and you'll have like the four seasons of your first marriage year!" DH could hear her on the phone and he's like "she fucking crazy" lol. I agree- I know she was trying to make me feel better but that's just way too much!

I have not responded to the photographer yet. She apologized a lot and told me to unleash whatever wrath I have on her. But I just want to let it sink in for a few days until I can formulate what I want to respond. Our friendship will never be the same, because yes it was a mistake but an easily preventable mistake. So I don't really know where I stand on that.

To me, the mistake would be horrible, yes.  But the deception would be what really ruined the friendship. As you said, she could have told you about it in December, when you asked.  She didn't.  She let you go through the emotional roller coaster for 2 months.  I get she was trying to get the photos back, but she was still so dishonest.

I think it's really mature that you're waiting to respond.  I probably would not have been that mature

Yeah - this! It's also disappointing that she didn't call to tell you about the ultimate outcome in person, and instead hid behind an email. Mistakes - even preventable ones - happen, but his girl has zero integrity and would not be someone with whom I'd care to maintain a friendship.

KatieinBkln

Your dad is awesome.

Your (ex) friend is a liar and an asshole. Honestly, I wouldn't even "unleash my wrath" on her at all. I'd be icy, icy, icy, and let her squirm in the discomfort of knowing I'm pissed but never getting the closure of actually hearing it. When someone says "Please yell at me!" what they mean is "Once you yell at me it's over and I can move on!" Well, no, bitch. Move on however you want, but not with my blessing in the form of cursing at high volume. 

lovegood90

KatieinBkln said:

Your dad is awesome.

Your (ex) friend is a liar and an asshole. Honestly, I wouldn't even "unleash my wrath" on her at all. I'd be icy, icy, icy, and let her squirm in the discomfort of knowing I'm pissed but never getting the closure of actually hearing it. When someone says "Please yell at me!" what they mean is "Once you yell at me it's over and I can move on!" Well, no, bitch. Move on however you want, but not with my blessing in the form of cursing at high volume. 

YES. That's my thought. I'm impressed with your maturity though, in terms of giving things a few days. I don't think I'd be able to give her the satisfaction of showing her any emotion- she'd just be dead to me.

PrettyGirlLost

Holy fuck, I am so so sorry!

wrigleyville said:

This is fucking bullshit. Who the fuck doesn't back shit up to a goddamn flash drive? When I did my thesis, I had it on three separate flash drives and emailed it to both of my email accounts.

I am so pissed for you right now. Beyond pissed. My friendship with her would be OVER. It's bad enough she lost the pics, but to LIE about it for two months?

OVER. Over and done.

I really hope some of your guests took pics with their phones and cameras.

The photographer backed everythng up to an external HD. . . that *should* have been just as "safe" as backing up to a flash drive, which are far more flimsy and can easily break. . . I have seen it happen before.

That said, I have personally witnessed the death of two HDs now, AND 4 external HDs. . . not cheap ones either.

I personally back up all of my photos and important documents to Carbonite ON TOP of using external HDs.  Why the hell wasn't this photographer using a cloud storage system to back up her photos?!

PrettyGirlLost

@Jenna8984, ask this lady if you can have the computer HD and external HD and then contact a group that does forensic level restoration.  It will be expensive as all fuck, but that level of restoration *might* get you back some or all of the pics.

I am just so very sorry.  Ugh.

jenna8984

PrettyGirlLost said:

@Jenna8984, ask this lady if you can have the computer HD and external HD and then contact a group that does forensic level restoration.  It will be expensive as all fuck, but that level of restoration *might* get you back some or all of the pics.

I am just so very sorry.  Ugh.

She tried......a company charged her $1300 and still couldn't get them. Well they dropped the charge when they couldn't get them but that was the initial invoice amount.

theartistformerlyknownas

jenna8984 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

@Jenna8984, ask this lady if you can have the computer HD and external HD and then contact a group that does forensic level restoration.  It will be expensive as all fuck, but that level of restoration *might* get you back some or all of the pics.

I am just so very sorry.  Ugh.

She tried......a company charged her $1300 and still couldn't get them. Well they dropped the charge when they couldn't get them but that was the initial invoice amount.

I don't believe her.

bethsmiles

lolo883 said:

jenna8984 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

@Jenna8984, ask this lady if you can have the computer HD and external HD and then contact a group that does forensic level restoration.  It will be expensive as all fuck, but that level of restoration *might* get you back some or all of the pics.

I am just so very sorry.  Ugh.

She tried......a company charged her $1300 and still couldn't get them. Well they dropped the charge when they couldn't get them but that was the initial invoice amount.

I don't believe her.

Ditto. And if it is true what the fuck did she do to mess up this badly?

arrippa

lolo883 said:

jenna8984 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

@Jenna8984, ask this lady if you can have the computer HD and external HD and then contact a group that does forensic level restoration.  It will be expensive as all fuck, but that level of restoration *might* get you back some or all of the pics.

I am just so very sorry.  Ugh.

She tried......a company charged her $1300 and still couldn't get them. Well they dropped the charge when they couldn't get them but that was the initial invoice amount.

I don't believe her.

I had that thought too. We already know she lied once to you.

dcbride86

arrippa said:

lolo883 said:

jenna8984 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

@Jenna8984, ask this lady if you can have the computer HD and external HD and then contact a group that does forensic level restoration.  It will be expensive as all fuck, but that level of restoration *might* get you back some or all of the pics.

I am just so very sorry.  Ugh.

She tried......a company charged her $1300 and still couldn't get them. Well they dropped the charge when they couldn't get them but that was the initial invoice amount.

I don't believe her.

I had that thought too. We already know she lied once to you.

This was my thought too.  Have you actually seen the invoice?  Or the report from the company?  Or the other places she said she took it to?  I would demand to see a written report explaining what happened to her computer/ why the photos couldn't be retrieved

[Deleted User]

I am so, so sorry this is happening to you. Your dad sounds amazing though. Of course it is shocking and painful to not have professional photos of your day, but you were there and you lived it in a way that photographs would not be able to capture. You have those memories. Pictures are great for sharing and reminding you of those times, but the best and most beautiful part of your day does not live in the photos--it lives in your mind. 

I love the idea of writing things down to keep it all fresh. Perhaps you can even write comments from family and friends as well, as a way to capture multiple view points. Just throwing it out there.

PrettyGirlLost

jenna8984 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

@Jenna8984, ask this lady if you can have the computer HD and external HD and then contact a group that does forensic level restoration.  It will be expensive as all fuck, but that level of restoration *might* get you back some or all of the pics.

I am just so very sorry.  Ugh.

She tried......a company charged her $1300 and still couldn't get them. Well they dropped the charge when they couldn't get them but that was the initial invoice amount.

I'm a skeptic, and since you already feel you were lied to for months, I'd want those HDs in my hands and I'd want to consult with the forensic recovery people myself.  For my own piece of mind.

bethsmiles said:

lolo883 said:

I don't believe her.

Ditto. And if it is true what the fuck did she do to mess up this badly?

You can fry your motherboard or HD by walking across a carpet on a dry, winter day and touching it and causing a spark of static. 

In the electronics world they call that an ESD, or Electrostatic Discharge, and people who are working with motherboards, processors, circuitry, etc. actually wear special wrist and heel straps that allow them to be physically grounded to a special mat to prevent ESDs.

The 1st HD I had lasted me 10 years until my motherboard caused some event that fried my processor and the HD.  However, I was lucky and was able to recover all my data, documents, and photos by going to a computer repair place.

I signed up for Carbonite immediately!

My second HD was brand new, in a brand new computer that DH built for me, and 5 months in it just died. 

jenna8984

Yea I know. I don't know what the fuck I believe out of her. She sent me copy/paste of what the company told her but I don't understand what any of it means except for fuck your pictures. I mean I know she's a lying sack of shit at this point but I really honestly think she made many best attempts at getting it restored to save her ass. She didn't want to be in this position and didn't want me in this position so I know she did bring it a few places and if they are all saying the same thing then I honestly don't think anything else we can do could save it at this point.

photokitty

I'm so sorry. My first thought - well your dad said it better than I ever could.

I have seen exactly two pictures from my grandparents wedding. I have seen 3 from my parents. I hate to admit this - bc I'm a photog and get paid to take photos - but you don't need 500 photos to remember a happy day. You don't even need one photo to have a happy marriage. I bet those 4 you have are amazing - that one your dad is talking about sounds gorgeous! 

I'm so sorry. All of this reenforces my biggest fears of ever being paid to do a wedding and why I never would do one for a friend or family member. I have shot many weddings as a guests and on 3 occasions had the bride tearfully thank me bc the "pro" photos were terrible and mine saved them - *ahem* why you should not have an unplugged wedding.

Give it time - it sucks, but if I had been her I might have strung my friend along while trying to do anything and everything to recover the images. A paid client, I would have come clean, apologized, refunded the money and offered them additional money to prevent them from writing bad reviews. Granted I'd like to think it would require a house fire for me to lose the originals and the backups...but they happen. I can see why she didn't want to tell you and why she lied. I do believe she probably did everything she could to recover them. You said you were very close friends, I might have lied and definitely would have tried everything to recover the images and not let my friend down. I guess I'm saying I believe that she tried everything she could to recover the images.

I'm so sorry

Sugargirl1019

I'm so so so sorry to hear about all of this, and I echo all of the PPs in their anger and suggestions!

As I've finished reading the comments so far, I've been imagining things that you could do to cope and process this.

Get a beautiful scrapbook album that you can put the pictures you do have in there and write both of your thoughts and feelings throughout the day like a timeline of memories from your mind. Are you an artist? I'm thinking about drawing a picture of the doors opening or your first kiss or cutting the cake to help illustrate YOUR story. How you felt before seeing your husband for the first time, how he felt, how you felt when you saw the flowers, when you saw a family member crying etc. I think this could be SO beautiful.

And if I was your bridesmaid, I would definitely be there in my dress getting my hair done the way it was that day so that I could help you have pictures (if you wanted your bridal party). Your MOH is so so sweet. And if you said I want to do a year of marriage through all 4 seasons, I'd do it for you so you could have pictures that made you happy.

Your dad is awesome too. You are married to your husband still at the end of the day, and everything is going to be alright. Hugs to you!

sarahufl

I am confused- I think this girl is lying. She sent you about 9 photos already? How were those rescued? When did she *actually* lose all the photos? She seems full of crap to me.

She should also reimburse you ALL THE MONEY you gave her- plane tickets and all.

I'm sorry this happened, it is terrible. But you should make sure you write a negative review on her website, too.

princessleia22

I love what your dad said... and he's right. Most people only put one or two framed wedding photos up in their home.  The rest go into an album that rarely gets looked at.  And even then, the framed wedding photos usually get replaced within a few years with other events or kids photos. My parents never had their wedding photos on display anywhere while I was growing up.  The walls were filled with photos of us kids instead.

My parents thought we were crazy that we paid $3000 to order ALL of our wedding photos, instead of selecting best ones for cheaper price. All those photos have been sitting untouched in a closet for over 6 months now.  We have two large canvas prints still rolled up under our bed. We have one large poster sized print in our bedroom and two 8x10 family photos in our living room. Yeah, it was a great day, but we don't need our home to be a shrine to that one day.

So, yeah, it totally sucks.  And I would be very pissed that the friend lied, but I can also understand not wanting to tell you they were lost until she knew for sure they were gone.  She really should have told you right away (or at least when you asked in December) and said she would try everything to recover them and hope for the best.  But, your dad has a great perspective on it and I'm happy you have people like that in your life to support you. You know you had an amazing wedding and a few good photos should be enough to spark and refresh your memory or it. Don't let this turn of events ruin and taint all your good memories of your wedding.

ashley8918

princessleia22 said:

I love what your dad said... and he's right. Most people only put one or two framed wedding photos up in their home.  The rest go into an album that rarely gets looked at.  And even then, the framed wedding photos usually get replaced within a few years with other events or kids photos. My parents never had their wedding photos on display anywhere while I was growing up.  The walls were filled with photos of us kids instead.

My parents thought we were crazy that we paid $3000 to order ALL of our wedding photos, instead of selecting best ones for cheaper price. All those photos have been sitting untouched in a closet for over 6 months now.  We have two large canvas prints still rolled up under our bed. We have one large poster sized print in our bedroom and two 8x10 family photos in our living room. Yeah, it was a great day, but we don't need our home to be a shrine to that one day.

So, yeah, it totally sucks.  And I would be very pissed that the friend lied, but I can also understand not wanting to tell you they were lost until she knew for sure they were gone.  She really should have told you right away (or at least when you asked in December) and said she would try everything to recover them and hope for the best.  But, your dad has a great perspective on it and I'm happy you have people like that in your life to support you. You know you had an amazing wedding and a few good photos should be enough to spark and refresh your memory or it. Don't let this turn of events ruin and taint all your good memories of your wedding.

I am so immature. You said taint and I almost pissed myself.

jenna8984

So I asked my cousin at MIT if he could look over the reports from the company she used. He said of course, and I hope it's not a head crash. She sends me the first report and it's titled Failure- Head Crash. So yea, biggest thumbs down EVER.

 

AlexaF2014

jenna8984 said:

So I asked my cousin at MIT if he could look over the reports from the company she used. He said of course, and I hope it's not a head crash. She sends me the first report and it's titled Failure- Head Crash. So yea, biggest thumbs down EVER.

 

So, she dropped her laptop? With her external attached to it? (if both have head crash failures) or was working on photo editing on a 15+ year old computer? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Head_crash 

Yeah, I'm sure she has no idea how she lost everything /s

Also, could you reverse image search the PDF of the reports she sent you to make sure she just didn't pull them off some website? I don't trust you friend photog to tell you the whole truth here, especially since she lied to you for months. She doesn't deserve to be believed.

PrettyGirlLost

Guys, external HDs can die w/o having to be connected to anything.  They can be dropped, knocked over, etc.

Like I said, I have seen this happen several times now, all in my lab.  My boss has unintentionally killed 3 of them personally!

sophhabobopha

Your dad and MOH are so sweet. What an awesome support group.

The situation is so shitty though.

jenna8984

Ok so full diagnosis from my cousin- 1. she used one of the best data recovery firms in the country and the reports did have her name on them

2. they are definitely fucked and gone forever

3. she only sent in her external to be fixed. Which means the weren't on her laptop. What was supposed to act as the "backup" was the only location she had them.

fucking christ.

PrettyGirlLost

jenna8984 said:

Ok so full diagnosis from my cousin- 1. she used one of the best data recovery firms in the country and the reports did have her name on them

2. they are definitely fucked and gone forever

3. she only sent in her external to be fixed. Which means the weren't on her laptop. What was supposed to act as the "backup" was the only location she had them.

fucking christ.

Oh shit of all the dumb ass moves. . .

theartistformerlyknownas

jenna8984 said:

Ok so full diagnosis from my cousin- 1. she used one of the best data recovery firms in the country and the reports did have her name on them

2. they are definitely fucked and gone forever

3. she only sent in her external to be fixed. Which means the weren't on her laptop. What was supposed to act as the "backup" was the only location she had them.

fucking christ.

What an idiot.

Even my escort card template was saved on 2 laptops and Google Docs, for crying out loud.