"Stealing Ideas"

alexandducky412

Just a rant, feel free to ignore.

I go to school with literally three other girls, and we all live in the same building. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, but they have this idea that I steal all their ideas (even the ones I had first). Running with that fucking annoying theme, two of us are engaged, one is married but had a courthouse wedding and is now planning an "actual" wedding for when she moves out to where she's going closer to home. I am (obviously) one of the engaged ones, and all three of us have the idea for a smaller beach wedding. However, the timeline is this:

Married Girl is not yet married, discusses a courthouse wedding, and subsequently gets married. No mention of specific wedding ideas comes into play.
I get engaged. I've been discussing beach wedding plans for months with my fiance, but none come out into the air until after the engagement.
Other Engaged Girl gets engaged. Beach plans come into play, and are discussed with Married Girl. 

I foresee claws coming out as soon as they hear about my wedding plans, because I'm not in the mood to hear either of them pop off at the mouth about plans I've been discussing for months, and part of me thinks they will because they have a habit of talking about me when I'm not around and have been caught more than once, even if they didn't know I heard it, and after I've repeatedly asked them to speak to me about any problems they have directly because we're grown adults.

I'm just so fed up with their shenanigans, and they insist they're the most mature ones around while screaming "SHE'S COPYING ME." What would y'all do? Am I just overreacting? 

mrscomposer

Weddings (as a whole) aren't that unique.  Two people of compatible orientation, a person standing in front of them to say some stuff, a piece of paper that they sign.  Everyone is wearing clothes, they're in some sort of venue, a pre-determined amount of people are watching.  Then, there are refreshments of some type, and sometimes entertainment of some type.

That's weddings in a nutshell.  So there's ALWAYS going to be some aspect of someone's wedding in someone else's wedding.  And besides - I don't know the actual numbers, but I can estimate that there must be thousands of beach weddings every year.  If you're copying them, then they must be copying the people who already got married on a beach.

I wouldn't tell them your plans.  They're not the ones getting married at your wedding, so they don't need to know the details.  Bean dip/ignore as necessary.  Are they even going to be invited to your wedding?

manateehugger

Sounds like you all need to stop telling each other about your respective weddings. And it sounds like these girls are a bunch of peaches I would avoid as much as possible anyway.

Beach weddings are incredibly common.

thecastlebride

Are they like roommates or something? If they are I wouldn't really care what they're saying because I would assume that once you're married you and FI are going to be living together without them. They're immature and I would honestly just ignore them. Their pettiness will stress you out unnecessarily if you let it.

Breathe and ignore them!

levioosa

alexandducky412 said:

Just a rant, feel free to ignore.

I go to school with literally three other girls, and we all live in the same building. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, but they have this idea that I steal all their ideas (even the ones I had first). Running with that fucking annoying theme, two of us are engaged, one is married but had a courthouse wedding and is now planning an "actual" wedding for when she moves out to where she's going closer to home. I am (obviously) one of the engaged ones, and all three of us have the idea for a smaller beach wedding. However, the timeline is this:

Married Girl is not yet married, discusses a courthouse wedding, and subsequently gets married. No mention of specific wedding ideas comes into play.
I get engaged. I've been discussing beach wedding plans for months with my fiance, but none come out into the air until after the engagement.
Other Engaged Girl gets engaged. Beach plans come into play, and are discussed with Married Girl. 

I foresee claws coming out as soon as they hear about my wedding plans, because I'm not in the mood to hear either of them pop off at the mouth about plans I've been discussing for months, and part of me thinks they will because they have a habit of talking about me when I'm not around and have been caught more than once, even if they didn't know I heard it, and after I've repeatedly asked them to speak to me about any problems they have directly because we're grown adults.

I'm just so fed up with their shenanigans, and they insist they're the most mature ones around while screaming "SHE'S COPYING ME." What would y'all do? Am I just overreacting? 

Just, I dunno....stop sharing wedding plans.  If you don't even really like these girls, what is the problem?  Just ignore them.  What they do/say has bearing on your plans only if you let them.  The whole "stealing of ideas" thing is just so asinine to me.  It's a wedding.  Pretty much every theme/color/whatever has already been done.  What makes it unique is the people getting married.  Not that complicated. 

beethery

I don't understand what the problem is. You don't have to run your wedding planning by them, and nobody is requiring you to be friends with them.

Also, I bet you all are going to weare/wore white dresses to your own weddings. QUELLE HORREUR.

DaniBites

1) Married girl is not planning a wedding

2) Yes, you're over reacting.  This whole this sounds very childish.  Ignore it.

KatWAG

How old are you? Because this whole thread sounds like you are stealing someone's barbie doll.

Stop sharing ideas

larrygaga

Ask them where they got the super original idea for a beach wedding. Same place as you? From the thousands of other people who did it? 

climbingsingle

This all sounds incredibly immature, on all your parts. 

southernbelle0915

A BEACH WEDDING? Like married on a beach where sand and water is? Like where people go to swim? I've NEVER heard of such a thing. 

Obviously one of you must have stolen this idea from the other because it is so youneek there's no WAY two women could both want to do this. 

You need to find out who stole it from who. Vote that bitch off the island.

Or you both could just grow up. You're acting like you're both coloring in a coloring book and you both end up coloring a dog brown.

princessgracekelly

I once was talking to a bride who was mad that other brides were pinning things off her Pinterest wedding board. It's like the technological version of what's going on here. I told her if it was that important to her, she should set her Pinterest board to "private," so . . .

KatieinBkln

I think the only reasonable response here when someone accuses you of "copying" them is to stare directly into their eyes without blinking for wayyyy too long and go, "Yes. I'm single white female-ing you. I watch you when you sleep. I'm stealing your wedding AND YOUR LIFE."

Then bounce.

[Deleted User]

I heard my friend might sign her new last name for the first time at her wedding, a few months after I do the very same thing.

That bitch.

lyndausvi

I wore a white dress. 

I had an open bar

I had a sit-down dinner

I had CAKE and I cut said cake in a ceremonial way.

I had a first dance.  I danced with my dad.

I'm a horrible copy-catter.

BTW  I had a beach wedding.  So really wouldn't  you be copying me?

VulgarGirl

Um I dunno how to tell you this but...

Lot of people doing this whole "beach wedding" thing. There are even a bunch of "how to" articles.

madamerwin

princessgracekelly said:

I once was talking to a bride who was mad that other brides were pinning things off her Pinterest wedding board. It's like the technological version of what's going on here. I told her if it was that important to her, she should set her Pinterest board to "private," so . . .

Um, what? EVERYTHING on Pinterest is "stolen" from somewhere else. That's how Pinterest works. Being upset at someone re-pinning your pins is ridiculous.

alexandducky412

KatWAG said:

How old are you? Because this whole thread sounds like you are stealing someone's barbie doll.

Stop sharing ideas

The problem isn't that I intentionally share ideas or that I'm discussing plans. One of them is my roommate and tends to gossip with the other girl about anything I do that does not fall in line with her. They in turn resort to high school bullshit of spreading it to everyone who will listen until it gets back to me.

I personally don't give a fuck about their weddings. I'm not going even if they invited me, and I'm not inviting them even if they did want to go. I just wanted to know if I'm justified in feeling uncomfortable and cornered or not.

alexandducky412

climbingwife said:

This all sounds incredibly immature, on all your parts. 

I don't care what they do for their own weddings. I'm asking if I'm justified in feeling like I'm backed into a fucking corner where I can't comfortably plan my own wedding in my own room without hearing someone's face about it, because I live with someone who can't grow up and I can't move away from.

alexandducky412

southernbelle0915 said:

A BEACH WEDDING? Like married on a beach where sand and water is? Like where people go to swim? I've NEVER heard of such a thing. 

Obviously one of you must have stolen this idea from the other because it is so youneek there's no WAY two women could both want to do this. 

You need to find out who stole it from who. Vote that bitch off the island.

Or you both could just grow up. You're acting like you're both coloring in a coloring book and you both end up coloring a dog brown.

I gave those responses the last 5 times they claimed I wanted to be like them for things unrelated to a wedding, and it continued to be blown the fuck up and be a problem. That is where my discomfort comes from. I legitimately don't care what they do. They can break into my computer, steal every written down wedding plan I have and hold a wedding exactly like mine down to the beach and beach house, and I still wouldn't care. I only care that I feel crazy and no longer feel comfortable in my own space.

southernbelle0915

When is your lease up? Time to move out and move on from immature friends.

KatieinBkln

alexandducky412 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

A BEACH WEDDING? Like married on a beach where sand and water is? Like where people go to swim? I've NEVER heard of such a thing. 

Obviously one of you must have stolen this idea from the other because it is so youneek there's no WAY two women could both want to do this. 

You need to find out who stole it from who. Vote that bitch off the island.

Or you both could just grow up. You're acting like you're both coloring in a coloring book and you both end up coloring a dog brown.

I gave those responses the last 5 times they claimed I wanted to be like them for things unrelated to a wedding, and it continued to be blown the fuck up and be a problem. That is where my discomfort comes from. I legitimately don't care what they do. They can break into my computer, steal every written down wedding plan I have and hold a wedding exactly like mine down to the beach and beach house, and I still wouldn't care. I only care that I feel crazy and no longer feel comfortable in my own space.

Okay, this is easy. It seems you don't even want to be friends with these girls anymore, so if they say you "want to be like them" you simply laugh, and then in your most pitying voice, say "Oh honey. Why would anyone want to be like you?"

This only works if your lease is really close to being up. I realize you do have to live with these people. Are you in a dorm or an apartment with your own room? If the latter, keep your door closed. If the former, you'll have to be a bit more assertive about setting boundaries--"Hey, do you mind not peeking over my shoulder when I'm on my laptop? It makes me nervous." "I realize my wedding plans bother you for some reason, but I'm going to have to continue planning. If it's upsetting to you when I [have TK open]/[am looking at beach destinations online]/[am living my life, going on my laptop like a normal human] then I think it might make you happier to step out for a bit."

badbnagdway

From when I was a baby I was planning to have a cake at my wedding, a "wedding cake" if you will. Now all these people have stolen my idea. Instead, we're going to have a three-tier display of sauerkraut and fish heads. Don't steal my idea again, bitches!

Yeah time to get away from these people. There are not like, a limited number of beach wedding slots in the world. Every single wedding is unique (because of the two people getting married and their guests) and yet every single wedding also has elements similar if not identical to many other weddings. 

drunkenwitch

Don't share wedding plans and completely ignore them.  Whenever I deal with someone immature I simply picture kittens whenever they are talking and let their comments flow past me.  They can't do anything to you, they can't force you to do anything and so what if they gossip?  Is the sky going to fall?

Just remember this every time one of them starts in

alexandducky412

southernbelle0915 said:

When is your lease up? Time to move out and move on from immature friends.

Either April or May, thankfully.