How small of a wedding party can you have?

[Deleted User]

I only have two really close female friends (both of whom I've known for 4+ years). My best friend of over 10 years is my maid of honor and my other best friend of about 5 years is my bridesmaid. The issue is that I feel like my party is too small. My fiance wants to keep things even and because of that has only a best man and a groomsman. I feel like I should have more in my party but I don't know who else I'd want in my party, besides maybe my brother's girlfriend or something. What should I do? Does it really matter?
I just don't want my bridesmaids to be strained when paying for everything-- they're both buying their own dresses (of their own styles, with the colors being the same) and my bridesmaid is paying for my wedding cake, but it's apparently customary for them to pay for the bachelorette party (I had no idea!). Can someone help me?

rcher912

mr&mrskirby said:

I only have two really close female friends (both of whom I've known for 4+ years). My best friend of over 10 years is my maid of honor and my other best friend of about 5 years is my bridesmaid. The issue is that I feel like my party is too small. My fiance wants to keep things even and because of that has only a best man and a groomsman. I feel like I should have more in my party but I don't know who else I'd want in my party, besides maybe my brother's girlfriend or something. What should I do? Does it really matter?
I just don't want my bridesmaids to be strained when paying for everything-- they're both buying their own dresses (of their own styles, with the colors being the same) and my bridesmaid is paying for my wedding cake, but it's apparently customary for them to pay for the bachelorette party (I had no idea!). Can someone help me?

To the bolded: Nope. 

BMs only have to pay for the dress. A bach party is an optional event that they can choose to host if they want.

My party is only 3 girls, so was my sister's. You're totally fine with 2! As for your FI - even numbers don't matter. If he wants to invite more guys, he should. It's about who's important to you. (Or, in his case, him.)

manateehugger

Doesn't matter. You don't have to have a wedding party at all. Ask your two best friends and call it good! Your fiancé should ask however many men/women he wants. Even sides do not matter. The people you love matter; don't think of these positions as spots to fill. We had 6 bridesmaids and 4 groomsmen.

However, they have ZERO responsibility to pay for anything except their dresses and travel to/from the wedding. It is not customary for the bridesmaids to pay for a bachelorette party. Someone may offer to host a bachelorette party; that person (who can be anyone) will check budgets of the other attendees and come up with festivities everyone can afford.

Anyone can host a shower or bachelorette; it is not a bridesmaid's responsibility. If they cannot afford to host, they wont.

Dreamergirl8812

I had 4 bridesmaids (including 1 MOH) and my husband had 2 groomsmen. We still ended up married by the end of it.

For the entrance DH arrived in a little hot rod with his two brothers (GMs) and my BMs preceded me down the aisle by themselves. Turns out women can walk down an aisle without being on a man's arm.

And most of our WP pics were hammy. Everyone just struck a pose and had fun with our parasols (the pics of the men with the parasols were the best). There wasn't any complicated staging or staggering by the photographer to make things look good.

Spoiler alert: 4 men in suits, 3 BMs and a chick wearing a big white dress will never be "even" or symmetrical.

southernbelle0915

Anywhere from 0-whatever. It's whatever you want. Sides dont have to be even and it doesn't matter what gender stands on what side.

levioosa

0.

Seriously.  Have whoever you are closest to.  Don't ask people just to "even out the sides."  Even sides don't matter, and it sends the message that the other people asked are just there for the pictures (which is true).  

Your BMs only responsibilities are to show up, on time, in the dress, in good spirits, and sober on the day of the wedding.  Everything else they might offer (helping with crafts, or throwing any parties) are a bonus.  They are supposed to be guests of honor.  

CMGragain

Wedding parties are not required at weddings.  You only need the bride, the groom, the officiant, a license and witnesses.

AddieCake

We had 2 bridesmaids, 1 groomswoman, and a ring bearer.

WinstonsGirl

We had one MOH and 1 Best Man.  DH wasn't sure he even wanted a BM.  My MOH threw me a lovely shower/stagette which didn't cost much, and I did the same for her, again, which didn't cost a lot.  But wedding parties can be thrown for you by anyone and they're not required.  You could have no one, but it sounds like you'd prefer your 2 friends.  That's fine.  They need to show up on time in the required dress and that's it.  

SP29

Yep. You can have any number of people in your party, or none at all. Sides are not required to be even. You should ask those who are nearest and dearest to you.

I had one MOH and one BM.

The wedding party is only responsible for purchasing the dress (with an agreed upon budget beforehand) and showing up on time. 

No one is required to throw you any parties, so they is no "spreading of costs". Even if one of your friends wants to throw you a party, that doesn't mean the other one also has to pitch in. 

downtondiva

FI and I will just have a maid of honor and a best man at our wedding. We felt that was what made the most sense for us. As for who else you should ask, if you have to think that hard about it, you've probably already picked the right people and don't need to ask anybody else.

[Deleted User]

Bridesmaids will often organize a bacholorette party. If they choose to do that, they can plan something that fits into their budget. A bachlorette party doesn't have to be a weekend getaway or a full blown out night on the town where they pay for everything. Usually when going out on the town for a bachlorette party (say for dinner & dancing & drinks) the BM will cover their own expenses and the split the brides expenses for th the night, but all other guests are on their own.

If they want to throw you a Bridal Shower, if they can't afford it, maybe they can approach your mother & the FI mother to see if they would be interested in co-hosting the event.

You are fine with having just two BM. Thing of it this way, you only have 4 people in total to worry about outfits, flowers, gifts, rehersal dinner and to coordinate on your day. The few people, the less stress & less drama because less chance of conflicting personalities.

[Deleted User]

plainjane0415

I'm not having a wedding party.  So, to answer your question, it would be 0.

ashley8918

It really doesn't matter. Like, at all. You dont have to have one at all.

KatWAG

mr&mrskirby said:

I only have two really close female friends (both of whom I've known for 4+ years). My best friend of over 10 years is my maid of honor and my other best friend of about 5 years is my bridesmaid. The issue is that I feel like my party is too small. My fiance wants to keep things even and because of that has only a best man and a groomsman. I feel like I should have more in my party but I don't know who else I'd want in my party, besides maybe my brother's girlfriend or something. What should I do? Does it really matter?
I just don't want my bridesmaids to be strained when paying for everything-- they're both buying their own dresses (of their own styles, with the colors being the same) and my bridesmaid is paying for my wedding cake, but it's apparently customary for them to pay for the bachelorette party (I had no idea!). Can someone help me?

Why is your bridesmaid paying for your wedding cake? Did she offer? That seems a bit strange to me.

 

Bach parties are extra and are not required. If your wedding party can't afford to host, then they dont have to. Someone else can or you dont have a bach party. It's pretty simple.

 

annathy03

Your two person is fine, and anyone can throw a bachelorette party (like a shower such a party is a gift, no one is obligated to).

Some people have 0, others have 17.  I had 4, my sister only had me (and BIL had no groomsmen, so I was the entire bridal party).

julieanne912

I'm only having a MOH and my FI is only having a best man.  My MOH is also my volunteer wedding planner (she used to do it for a living and is almost more excited about my wedding than I am LOL) so I wouldn't expect her to pay for anything other than her dress, which she is picking out herself in any color and style she wants, as long as it coordinates w/ the wedding colors somehow.   No bachelorette party, no wedding shower.