How to politely turn down a gift?
I have awkwardly been instructed by my FMIL to start looking for a hutch, because she and my FGMIL have decided they would like to go in on one together as our wedding gift. It has been made very clear for several years that FGMIL intends to pass on her extensive collection of china, little glass bells, teacups, wall mounted plates to us, none of which I really wanted but would take good care of if she wanted us to have it.
My fiancé and I purchased a home over a year ago, but have not purchased any new furniture because we have been saving for the wedding and wanted to wait until we could invest in quality items rather then buy more Ikea stuff. We have a formal dining room, but it is completely empty. I planned to purchase a glass top table and sideboard/buffet to use as a bar.
How do I handle this situation? I imagine they are expecting me to select a large, flowery oak hutch to display all of these heirlooms. I don't want to have this displayed in my home for years, nor do I like this style of furniture. She didn't give me any sort of budget to go off of. I'm sure they are trying to come up with something we could use and would keep for years, and know about our empty dining room. The intentions are sweet, but I don't want any of this stuff to begin with, much less have to display it. I'm afraid if I just avoid the situation they will pick one out for me. She really put me on the spot in front of an audience of other family members today, and I sort of froze and just said... "uh, ok, I'll look around..."
What do I do to avoid hurting feelings or seeming ungrateful?