Registering and Gifts

Registry Alternative for Overseas Couple?

Hey fellow brides! 

So I think my fiancé and I have a unique situation - maybe someone out there has advice.  We both live in Japan, and plan to continue to live in Japan after our wedding in the US.  We obviously cannot except physical gift due to those dang luggage limitations.  But we really need the help to start out our life together.  

I'm considering alternative ideas like honeymoon sites (honeyfund.com or honeymoonwishes.com).  Any other ideas?

My fiancé is suggesting starting a kickstarter.com - and detailing the costs  of our start up needs on it, and people can give according to what they want to cover for us.  My gut says thats not a good idea... Thoughts on this?

Wisdom is appreciated! 

Hannah

Re: Registry Alternative for Overseas Couple?

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member

    Hey fellow brides! 


    So I think my fiancé and I have a unique situation - maybe someone out there has advice.  We both live in Japan, and plan to continue to live in Japan after our wedding in the US.  We obviously cannot except physical gift due to those dang luggage limitations.  But we really need the help to start out our life together.  

    I'm considering alternative ideas like honeymoon sites (honeyfund.com or honeymoonwishes.com).  Any other ideas?

    My fiancé is suggesting starting a kickstarter.com - and detailing the costs  of our start up needs on it, and people can give according to what they want to cover for us.  My gut says thats not a good idea... Thoughts on this?

    Wisdom is appreciated! 

    Hannah
    No, those HM fund sites are incredibly rude.  You are basically asking your guests to give you money.  You don't get the gift that they "purchase" but rather a check in the mail, minus a service fee.  They are deceiving to your guests and you end up with less money then you would get if your guests just stuck the green stuff in a card and handed it to you.

    And absolutely not on the kickestarter.  Asking for money in any shape or form is rude.  Just don't register.  Or register through Amazon and then people can send you the gifts you request.  People are not dumb.  They will realize that getting any large items back to Japan will be difficult so most likely they will give cash because everyone knows that cash is a great gift.  They don't need to be told that.

    chibiyui
  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member

    Just dont register. I assume your friends and family know where you live and are smart enough not to buy you a huge wicker basket.

    If someone is kind enough to give you a physical gift, you can either return it or ship it to your home.

    Keep in mind, this means no bridal shower. Since a bridal shower is meant to shower a bride in gifts.  

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  • I agree that you should just not register for gifts.  If you are concerned about bringing potential gifts back I would recommend either shipping them before you leave or returning them.  I would assume most guests understand that you are starting your lives together and would get you cash if they choose to send a gift.  Also please remember that the act of having a wedding is not in itself a summons for gifts.  Some will come with a gift and other's will not so I wouldn't expect 100% to actual give a gift to begin with.
    If you really need household items maybe starting a registry on a site like amazon that can deliver internationally so you wouldn't have to take any potential gifts home.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    Registering for cash is crass. (Whether it's in the guise of a HM registry or a kickstarter is irrelevant. It's still rude as hell.)

    Don't register and decline offers of showers. When people ask about a registry, you say "we really couldn't register because of international travel."  If people still want to give you a gift, they will put money in an envelope. 

    If you do get physical gifts (and you probably will receive a few), either return them in the states and repurchase the same gift in Japan or ship it to yourself. Most people are smart enough not to give you huge or heavy physical gifts. 
    fwtx5815chibiyui
  • fwtx5815fwtx5815 cowboys nation
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    member
    Honeyfunds/kickstarters for a wedding are not appropriate, and luckily for brides everywhere, they're not necessary. Just don't register at a retailer, people know cash is a great gift.

    ----


     fka dallasbetch 


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  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member

    People will give you cash, because they are smart and presumably know where you live - or at least you have to trust them to be smart. The people who might insist on getting you a boxed gift would not use any of those sites anyway, trust me. Just don't say anything, or if people ask about a registry, say "Oh, we're saving up for __life in Japan__!"

    You will probably receive less money than you would otherwise if you set up a HM fund or Kickstarter, both because those sites will take fees out of your gifts, and because some people may be put off by what's essentially an attitude of entitlement to wedding gifts and begging for money.

    Anniversary

  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    A Kickstarter campaign?  WTF?



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