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Knottie94868950

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thisismynickname2

I don't think it's your responsibility to, but I think you're much better off doing so specifically because you're not inviting the children to the wedding. 

But, you never know- people invited who have kids may just outright decline to attend the wedding at all. 

(I'm trying to picture how this will go down: invitation says only Mr. and Mrs. Doe. Since invites don't say who's not invited, how are they going to know the babysitting is available? Maybe the website?  I think this gets into murky territory with the etiquette no-no of saying who's not invited. It would be weird to say, "Even though children may not come to the ceremony and reception, we're happy to see them any other time at the resort, so we're offering childcare during these specific events."  Hmm....)   

MandyMost

No, it's not your responsibility. But if I were you I'd spread by word-of-mouth that the service is available, so your guests know it's an option. 

southernbelle0915

If you want to have a child-free wedding that's fine. And if you want to offer babysitting services to people, that's also fine. But you can't require people to use those babysitting services. You can just let people know that if they bring junior on the trip, such-and-such provides babysitting services for $X/hour if people are interested. 

We had a child-free wedding and provided nothing. It's not required.Parents are responsible for their own childcare.  If people asked for references, we had a short list of names.

However, if you have an OOT, child-free wedding, expect a much higher decline rate. Also, make sure you don't put "adults only" or anything like that on your website, invitations, etc. - it's against etiquette.

Knottie94868950

Thanks so much for the quick replies! Yes, I plan to reach out to guests with children in the next few weeks with information about babysitting during the wedding so that they can have all information before they book travel (I know that some may decide not to attend if their children are not invited). At this point we are deciding between offering a pre-arranged childcare/kids club in the bridal suite or nearby ballroom or just providing a list of recommended babysitters for parent's to use in their own hotel room. Thanks again!

lovegood90

PPs have it covered, but also just wanted to note- some parents might not get the message that their kids aren't invited- they may think the babysitting is an optional choice and that they are free to bring their kids to the wedding if they want.

So just be aware in your communications (without saying "adults only") that you're clear in that the only options for the parents are: Come to the wedding and leave the children behind, come to the wedding and use the childcare, come to the wedding and find your own childcare, or don't come to the wedding at all. (AKA coming to the wedding with their children if they don't want to use your childcare is not an option).

Some parents may not get the hint so just make sure you're clear and you're good!

MandyMost

I had an OOT child-free wedding and no one declined because of it. In my circle, weddings are typically child-free, so everyone was expecting it. And the Save-the-Dates went out like 9 months in advance, so people had plenty of time to find childcare. We were all prepared to offer up some recommendations for babysitters if anyone asked, and tried to spread the word-of-mouth that we're happy to help, but it turned out to be not necessary. For instance, one friend in our circle's family lives nearby and her mother offered to babysit someone's kid for the event if necessary--so it wouldn't have been a total stranger, since we'd all met her mom before. My friend who was still nursing actually brought her mom to town so her mom could babysit while she came to the wedding! Other guests left their kids at home with friends or inlaws for the night/weekend, or had friends/family that were fairly local and could take the kid for the duration of the event. 

Actually, the only person who had trouble and made a fuss was my brother, and he's local. We had invited all of their typical babysitters to the wedding, and they had procrastinated finding someone. But it all worked out in the end. 

banana468

You don't need to pay for the childcare but I feel like it sends a mixed message to invite the kids to some but not all wedding events.   I'd just call it an adult event and then those who can make it do but need to use the babysitters.

Maggie0829

banana468 said:

You don't need to pay for the childcare but I feel like it sends a mixed message to invite the kids to some but not all wedding events.   I'd just call it an adult event and then those who can make it do but need to use the babysitters.

I agree with this.  Add to the fact that some parents are not going to be comfortable leaving their kids with a stranger.

MyNameIsNot

banana468 said:

You don't need to pay for the childcare but I feel like it sends a mixed message to invite the kids to some but not all wedding events.   I'd just call it an adult event and then those who can make it do but need to use the babysitters.

This. Why would it be acceptable to invite kids to the other wedding events but not the actual wedding? That would be really rude to do to anyone else.

Based on life experience, I would expect most people to travel without the kids rather than trust strangers to watch their kids at an OOT wedding, so maybe it's a moot point.

photokitty

Knottie94868950 said:

Thanks so much for the quick replies! Yes, I plan to reach out to guests with children in the next few weeks with information about babysitting during the wedding so that they can have all information before they book travel (I know that some may decide not to attend if their children are not invited). At this point we are deciding between offering a pre-arranged childcare/kids club in the bridal suite or nearby ballroom or just providing a list of recommended babysitters for parent's to use in their own hotel room. Thanks again!

Great, glad you got good info. Here's another piece of solid info - deleting your posts is generally frowned upon on the forum. It draws attention and you're gonna have a bunch of Bat Signal gifs in no time.

Please practice good internet etiquette going forward and welcome to the community

Maggie0829

Why the hell did you delete your post?

southernbelle0915

Came for the DD.... OP, it's rude to delete your OP when people took the time to respond to you. This is a common question and helps lurkers who may have the same question.  

If you want to have an OOT, child-free wedding, that's fine. Offering a baby sitter is fine. The only thing not fine is saying "adults only" or requiring people to use this baby sitting service you got lined up. 

KatWAG

NowIAmSyp

photokitty said:

Knottie94868950 said:

Thanks so much for the quick replies! Yes, I plan to reach out to guests with children in the next few weeks with information about babysitting during the wedding so that they can have all information before they book travel (I know that some may decide not to attend if their children are not invited). At this point we are deciding between offering a pre-arranged childcare/kids club in the bridal suite or nearby ballroom or just providing a list of recommended babysitters for parent's to use in their own hotel room. Thanks again!

Great, glad you got good info. Here's another piece of solid info - deleting your posts is generally frowned upon on the forum. It draws attention and you're gonna have a bunch of Bat Signal gifs in no time.

Please practice good internet etiquette going forward and welcome to the community

Why, allow me...  

KatWAG

novella1186

Definitely came for the DD. Although I'm extremely confused as to why the DD happened, since the thread went so well....? 

Dreamergirl8812

[Deleted User]

Why did nobody quote?

WinstonsGirl

New rule.  Knottie#'s = automatic quote

photokitty

I know I'm a mod so I shouldn't be suggesting this - but I wish we'd give mods the power to change the title of DD's - it's really hard to click on that teeny tiny "."

We could call them all "To The Bat Cave!"

lovesclimbing

WinstonsGirl said:

New rule.  Knottie#'s = automatic quote

I say quote all new posts. KR said with the new site upgrades, they're going to start making people choose a username rather than assign them a knottienumbers name.

allispain

Dreamergirl8812 said:

This is officially my new favorite gif.

chibiyui

Viczaesar

WinstonsGirl said:

New rule.  Knottie#'s = automatic quote

My rule is any OP should be quoted just in case.

sophhabobopha

slothiegal

This was not as exciting as I had hoped    Sigh.

MadHops21

VulgarGirl

A DD before anyone called us meanies, bullies, bitches, hoes, cunts, or accused us of attacking them? 

NO ONE EVEN FEELS BAD FOR OUR HUSBANDS/WIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so disappointed. 

Dreamergirl8812

sophhabobopha said:

I see your Corgis, and I raise you... more Corgis.

I think those are Corgi puppies (?).

Viczaesar

Dreamergirl8812 said:

sophhabobopha said:

I see your Corgis, and I raise you... more Corgis.

I think those are Corgi puppies (?).

Not only Corgi puppies, synchronized Corgi puppies!