Deciding on the Ceremony process!

MegRynd

My fiance and I decided early on that we want a non-denominational wedding since neither of us is very religious. However, the more we get into planning and figuring out we want, I've decided that I really want to include the breaking of glass of a Jewish wedding to ours, since I am Jewish. (His grandma is Catholic and he has never been to church. My mom is Jewish and my dad is Episcopalian so I never went to a church/synagogue). He is strongly opposed to it because of us deciding early tat we want no religion in the ceremony to avoid offending anyone. But I would really love to have this part of the ceremony. Should I just drop it or make some sort of deal with him? I don't think it would be that big of a deal to me if it wasn't for the fact that I identify myself as Jewish. Any suggestions?

artbyallie

MegRynd said:

My fiance and I decided early on that we want a non-denominational wedding since neither of us is very religious. However, the more we get into planning and figuring out we want, I've decided that I really want to include the breaking of glass of a Jewish wedding to ours, since I am Jewish. (His grandma is Catholic and he has never been to church. My mom is Jewish and my dad is Episcopalian so I never went to a church/synagogue). He is strongly opposed to it because of us deciding early tat we want no religion in the ceremony to avoid offending anyone. But I would really love to have this part of the ceremony. Should I just drop it or make some sort of deal with him? I don't think it would be that big of a deal to me if it wasn't for the fact that I identify myself as Jewish. Any suggestions?

It is my understanding (though I am not Jewish) that the breaking of the glass is not just some fun thing to do but an actual religious reference to the destruction of the temple. I don't see the point of doing it if you are not practicing.

In any case, since he does not want to do it, you should probably just skip it.

MegRynd

I researched it, and there are more interpretations than the destruction of the Temple. 

MobKaz

There have been threads on this exact question more than once.  The general consensus was that such a religious component in an otherwise secular ceremony will come off as disingenuous and potentially offensive to many of your guests. 

Maggie0829

MegRynd said:

My fiance and I decided early on that we want a non-denominational wedding since neither of us is very religious. However, the more we get into planning and figuring out we want, I've decided that I really want to include the breaking of glass of a Jewish wedding to ours, since I am Jewish. (His grandma is Catholic and he has never been to church. My mom is Jewish and my dad is Episcopalian so I never went to a church/synagogue). He is strongly opposed to it because of us deciding early tat we want no religion in the ceremony to avoid offending anyone. But I would really love to have this part of the ceremony. Should I just drop it or make some sort of deal with him? I don't think it would be that big of a deal to me if it wasn't for the fact that I identify myself as Jewish. Any suggestions?

So only the glass breaking part appeals to you?  This is just confusing.  You say you aren't religious and that you and your FI decided on a religious free ceremony, but you want to have the glass breaking tradition because you identify as Jewish?  I feel like you are picking and choosing things just because.  It would be like if I decided that I wanted to have communion at my non-denominational wedding because I identify as Catholic.

And since your FI does not want to do it, then you need to drop it.

MegRynd

Well thanks for all of your help.

Jen4948

MegRynd said:

I researched it, and there are more interpretations than the destruction of the Temple. 

Whether or not there are, this is the interpretation understood by many Jews as the reason for the breaking of the glass, especially since the Holocaust. It's no longer, if it ever was, seen as a "cute" or "fun" touch or even the one thing that makes a wedding ceremony "Jewish." In any case, to use it that way really would not be appropriate, especially if the wedding is nondenominational.

MobKaz

MegRynd said:

Well thanks for all of your help.

Your exact question was, " Should I just drop it or make some sort of deal with him?" 

You have gotten four responses.  ALL four responses directly and clearly answered, "Drop it".  Was there something else you needed assistance with?

manateehugger

This would be like drinking communion wine in your ceremony because it sounds fun. Drop it.  

artbyallie

manateehugger said:

This would be like drinking communion wine in your ceremony because it sounds fun. Drop it.  

Ooh, good comparison. We did communion, but we did have a religious wedding in general (as in, in a church with a pastor officiating).

OP, I'm sorry you didn't hear what you wanted to hear, but it seems we're all on your fiancé's side on this topic.

As an alternative, since it's traditional in Jewish weddings to be escorted by both parents, would that work for you instead?