Wish I'd read these posts on bridal party gifts before buying mine...

lembaslover

So I'm having a late fall wedding in New England in the evening and it can get quite chilly. Since I kind of have a love of things elvish I thought a great way to incorporate this into my wedding (without it becoming a Lord of the Rings spectacle) and stay warm would be to wear a cloak instead of a veil. While I was looking for my cloak I found shorter matching ones and thought oh that'd make such a cute picture plus it'd keep my bridesmaids warm during the ceremony too! So I ordered them without giving it much thought...

Now before everyone comments on how rude this was of me, I realize that and that's why I'm posting. I'm sure we've all had moments of bridal blindness while planning and well this was mine. The problem is the cloaks were expensive and a little over the planned budget to begin with. I want to right this so I am brainstorming some cost effective ideas of doing this. I have a couple of ideas and I want to know if you would feel wronged if you received the cloak for the wedding (which I know will never be worn again) and one of the following:

1. I'm pretty crafty so I was thinking I could sew a clutch for each of the girls and put some small and meaningful things in it. I'm thinking a couple nips, nail polish, lotion, a bracelet/necklace (not for the wedding but I make jewelry), etc...

2. Give them each a bottle of their favorite wine (nice wine not barefoot or the like)

3. One of the minimergency kits from pinch provisions. They wont have to use it for the wedding I'm preparing a large kit for the bridal party.

Maggie0829

engagedhamstermom said:

So I'm having a late fall wedding in New England in the evening and it can get quite chilly. Since I kind of have a love of things elvish I thought a great way to incorporate this into my wedding (without it becoming a Lord of the Rings spectacle) and stay warm would be to wear a cloak instead of a veil. While I was looking for my cloak I found shorter matching ones and thought oh that'd make such a cute picture plus it'd keep my bridesmaids warm during the ceremony too! So I ordered them without giving it much thought...

Now before everyone comments on how rude this was of me, I realize that and that's why I'm posting. I'm sure we've all had moments of bridal blindness while planning and well this was mine. The problem is the cloaks were expensive and a little over the planned budget to begin with. I want to right this so I am brainstorming some cost effective ideas of doing this. I have a couple of ideas and I want to know if you would feel wronged if you received the cloak for the wedding (which I know will never be worn again) and one of the following:

1. I'm pretty crafty so I was thinking I could sew a clutch for each of the girls and put some small and meaningful things in it. I'm thinking a couple nips, nail polish, lotion, a bracelet/necklace (not for the wedding but I make jewelry), etc...

2. Give them each a bottle of their favorite wine (nice wine not barefoot or the like)

3. One of the minimergency kits from pinch provisions. They wont have to use it for the wedding I'm preparing a large kit for the bridal party.

Just so you know, you don't have to give each girl the same thing.  You should shop for them like it is their birthday or it is Christmas.

Honestly, the emergency kits are just not appropriate for a bridesmaid gift.  These gifts are suppose to show your appreciation for being in your wedding.  Do band aids and a nail file really show that?

So some ideas...

For a wine lover - a nice bottle of their favorite wine

For a book lover - a new cover for their e-reader

For a person who loves to keep a journal - a nice leather bound journal and a pretty pen

For a person who loves accessories - a nice pashmina/scarf/piece of jewelry/clutch

For the foodie - a gift certificate to their favorite restaurant

OliveOilsMom

Since you realize the capes aren't actually great gifts for your BMs is there anyway you can return them or sell them to get your money back?  

I agree with Maggie on the emergency kits.  When I am a BM I always bring my own emergency kit and enough for the bride & rest of the BP.  

aliwis000

I agree with the PP. You can use the capes still but they do not count as a gift. No biggy.

For their gifts shop like it is their birthday. This does not mean expensive stuff. Example: For her last birthday I gave my best friend a print of a flamingo ridding a unicycle printed on a page of a book what was talking about endurance and hard work.

Why? Because pink flamingos have been a running joke on us for over 10 years and she has been through a lot in the past few years and it has taken hard work and endurance. She loved it.

Total Cost with frame: $22

I know this sounds super ridiculous when you read this but it was as pretty classy, the flamingo was wearing a top hat after all.

novella1186

I totally agree with Maggie. Get them individualized gifts. Some of the stuff I got for my BMs: 

Some specialty teas for the tea drinker 

A really awesome novel for the girl who loves to read 

Some fun make-up for the one who loves to play with make-up

Spa products for relaxation for the busy new mom 

A cute shirt for the girl who hates to shop and loves when I buy her clothes so she doesn't have to

I got them each a purse on sale at Macy's after stalking their Pinterest pages to see what styles they're currently into and put some other fun stuff in the purses as well. But the point is that each gift is unique to them. 

lembaslover

No it's too late to get my money back on them, they were custom made. And I really doubt they'd sell. Plus they do have a purpose for the wedding so it's not a complete waste.

I guess it won't be huge deal, since I was looking last night and found some things for each of the girls that I think they'll like. Like for my cousin I found episodes of TV show on DVD that we used to watch together and love and that we always complain isn't on TV anymore. So yea it looks like without spending a ton of money I found something for each of them that they will actually use.

Bubblegum5586

Can you post a picture of the cloaks? I am dying to see this as I am having trouble envisioning it!

lembaslover

@bubblegum1309 Here is a picture from the lady who made them of mine and one of the bridesmaid ones. I got them from the Cape and Crown shop on Etsy. She usually uses fur trim but I asked for no fur because I felt like the fur looked too wintery. I'm not using the hand warmers she shows either.

rcher912

Those are beautiful!! I agree, not the best BM gift, but as part of it and a cool picture, why not? It's free after all.

dcbride86

I did the same thing as the OP.  Before I came on TK, I got each of my BMs monogrammed tumblers and robes with their names (although at least 3/4 of them had randomly mentioned to me that they wanted a soft hotel-style robe).  I never thought it would be their only gift, but I thought the BMs gifts were SUPPOSED to be the same.  Hopefully they can all use a tumbler, and maybe we can get a cute picture of us all drinking out of them in our robes (I will wash all the tumblers before the wedding and won't care if some don't want robe pics), but I'm so glad I found this board because it helped me reassess all my gifts. Good for you for finding other things your girls will love

[Deleted User]

OP, the PPs have covered advice for what to give, but I have to say, those cloaks are beautiful, and I would TOTALLY wear it again if I was a BM. Yes, you should still give them a more personalized gift, but I would be strutting around in my cloak like a badass, yet warm, elf.

[Deleted User]

abcdevonn said:

OP, the PPs have covered advice for what to give, but I have to say, those cloaks are beautiful, and I would TOTALLY wear it again if I was a BM. Yes, you should still give them a more personalized gift, but I would be strutting around in my cloak like a badass, yet warm, elf.

I've actually always wanted a cloak.  I want one that's more of a Professors Snape or McGonagall cloak, but anything will do in a pinch.  I'd be confused and delighted by a cloak as a bridesmaid gift.

Heffalump

engagedhamstermom said:

I'm dying a little at the picture on the vendor's mantel.  That's my only contribution here.

lembaslover

Thank you guys! 

@dcbride86 I'm glad I'm not the only one who was mistaken before reading these boards!

I don't know how people planned for weddings before sites like TK and pinterest... I wouldn't have even known where to start and as for etiquette I'd have just done what I witnessed at weddings I'd been to/in and they broke a lot of what now seems like pretty standard rules...

redoryx

abcdevonn said:

OP, the PPs have covered advice for what to give, but I have to say, those cloaks are beautiful, and I would TOTALLY wear it again if I was a BM. Yes, you should still give them a more personalized gift, but I would be strutting around in my cloak like a badass, yet warm, elf.

Seriously, in my head I'm basically a character from a fantasy novel who got stuck in real life and is trying to get back to the magical forest where my castle is. I'd looooooooove a cloak like that.

[Deleted User]

redoryx said:

abcdevonn said:

OP, the PPs have covered advice for what to give, but I have to say, those cloaks are beautiful, and I would TOTALLY wear it again if I was a BM. Yes, you should still give them a more personalized gift, but I would be strutting around in my cloak like a badass, yet warm, elf.

Seriously, in my head I'm basically a character from a fantasy novel who got stuck in real life and is trying to get back to the magical forest where my castle is. I'd looooooooove a cloak like that.

If I could more than love this sentiment, I would!