Which date to celebrate?

abbyandjade

My fiancee and I have decided to get married this spring in Pennsylvania (since gay marriage isn't legal in our home state). Unfortunately, our entire families won't be able to be there because of this. So we are planning on having a ceremony/reception the following year that everyone will be able to attend. We won't be able to do it exactly a year later though. . . so we don't know which day to celebrate as our anniversary. 

My fiancee suggests just counting the "real" ceremony in our state to count as our anniversary. I am torn -- because the courthouse day will ACTUALLY be our anniversary. 

What have others done in our situation? 

april&amanda

I would count the day you legally got married to be honest! however this is really up to you guys and what you feel in your hearts is the right thing to do! Good luck

photokitty

My sister and her wife celebrate the day they were legally married in DC, not the at home ceremony with us 3 months later. We are just happy they are happy and were able to be legally married even if we were unable to be there on that day.

I would not want to wait a year to start counting to my anniversary. And you will be married the day you legally get married. Nothing stopping you from celebrating both days, lots of married folks still celebrate the anniversary of their first date or the day they met.

QueerFemme

You may want to do the two closer together.   We had our wedding first, since at the time, it wasn't legal in California.  And then when DOMA was overturned, we had a quicky ceremony in California at the courthouse.  So, we celebrate our wedding date as our anniversary, but also celebrate our county ceremony, but we call that our "taxiversary", because that is when we got tax benefits. 

It's really up to you.  But, I would celebrate your actual wedding date, since you are doing that first.  Your local ceremony/reception is really going to be a vow renewal date.

ttandnico

I agree with @QueerFemme, I would do the two closer together. I would choose the court date as your anniversary as it comes first.