Wedding Party

Flower girl or Junior bridesmaid?

I have a tall, mature, nine year old niece whom I would like to ask to be involved in the wedding. She looks great in "older girls'" dresses and has lots of dance recital experience already, so she is poised.

Because of her height and maturity level (she also looks like she's already 10, or a youthful 11) I've been thinking "junior bridesmaid" but, am I wrong? I mean... she is only 9. Is there an officially accepted cut-off age between flower girl and junior bridesmaid? I think flower girl is too "babyish" for her and I already have a flower girl (who is 4 years old). 

I apologize if this has been posted before and I did try a search first, but nothing in previous discussions seemed to exactly suit my needs. I really would like her to be in the wedding because she's a "girly girl" who would absolutely love the experience, but sincerely don't want to commit a faux pas. 

Thanks!
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Re: Flower girl or Junior bridesmaid?

  • I have a tall, mature, nine year old niece whom I would like to ask to be involved in the wedding. She looks great in "older girls'" dresses and has lots of dance recital experience already, so she is poised.


    Because of her height and maturity level (she also looks like she's already 10, or a youthful 11) I've been thinking "junior bridesmaid" but, am I wrong? I mean... she is only 9. Is there an officially accepted cut-off age between flower girl and junior bridesmaid? I think flower girl is too "babyish" for her and I already have a flower girl (who is 4 years old). 

    I apologize if this has been posted before and I did try a search first, but nothing in previous discussions seemed to exactly suit my needs. I really would like her to be in the wedding because she's a "girly girl" who would absolutely love the experience, but sincerely don't want to commit a faux pas. 

    Thanks!
    She can be a bridesmaid. Junior bridesmaid is a made up term to sell smaller versions of bigger dresses. Which just means more money for the bridal industry. She can absolutely be a bridesmaid. All she has to do is wear a dress, show up on time and smile in photos. I think it's very sweet to include her in your bridal party. I'm sure she'll be over the moon.

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  • Ask her if she'd rather be a bridesmaid or a flower girl. Some girls that age would love to be a FG, some consider it a baby spot. You'll only know if you ask her.

    Drop the junior title. If she's walking up and down the aisle holding flowers and smiling for pictures, she's doing exactly the same thing as the adult BMs. There's no need to draw attention to her youth or make her feel like she's less because of it. 
  • Well, stop calling it a "junior" anything. The only things adult bridesmaids can do that minors cannot are legally be served alcohol, enter "adult" establishments, and sign your marriage certificate as witnesses. If those were not things you were going to ask any of your attendants to do (other than signing as witnesses), then it makes no positive difference whether or not she's called a bridesmaid (assuming that that's her preference).

    But if she prefers to be a flower girl, let her be one and let it go at that.
  • Well her height and poise don't really have anything to do with it but PPs have given you great advice - ask her what she would like to do and drop junior from the bridesmaid title.


  • Silverelf2015Silverelf2015 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited March 2015
    Thanks, everyone. I only thought as she looks and acts older that bridesmaid might be better. I thought that her apparent age, rather than her actual age, was more important in deciding whether or not to give her a role typically given to little children. But I will just ask her and let her decide. :) 
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  • arrrghmateyarrrghmatey member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited March 2015
    My oldest niece will be 11 when we have our wedding. When we became engaged, she was really excited about the possibility of being a Junior Bridesmaid…REALLY excited, and was very specific about saying 'Junior' Bridesmaid and constantly asking my sister about when/if I would ask her.

    I ultimately called her up and asked her to be a bridesmaid and dropped the Jr. title. She was so excited about being included with the 'big girls.' She will be wearing a dress in the same color as the other bridesmaids (everyone is picking their own dress) and will be walking down the aisle with a bouquet.
                                     Wedding Countdown Ticker

                                                   image
  • I have 2 Junior Bridesmaids. It's just been tradition in my family to give a young girl the title as a junior bridesmaid. My JBs will both be 9 at the time of our wedding. My FG will be 3. Just giving you the ages of my girls to better help you if needed. 
  • Silverelf2015Silverelf2015 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited March 2015

    I have 2 Junior Bridesmaids. It's just been tradition in my family to give a young girl the title as a junior bridesmaid. My JBs will both be 9 at the time of our wedding. My FG will be 3. Just giving you the ages of my girls to better help you if needed. 

    This does help! :)  My niece is 9. My fiance's niece is 4 and she is the flower girl. 

    Thank you! :)
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  • No, just regarding the ages as to whether she would be a flower girl or not. 

    I will ask her to be "a bridesmaid" first... Unless, of course, she would rather be a flower girl. 
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  • If I have a wedding party at all, I'm considering asking my 9 year old goddaughter to be my Maid of Honor.
  • No, just regarding the ages as to whether she would be a flower girl or not. 


    I will ask her to be "a bridesmaid" first... Unless, of course, she would rather be a flower girl. 
    And that's a fine plan. FWIW, my flower girl was on the older side at 9. She was very happy with her role. I don't know any girls that age who would consider themselves too old to be one, but that doesn't mean there aren't any who do. I'm sure your niece will be thrilled to be in your wedding as a bridesmaid.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited March 2015
    My BMW ranged in age from 6 years old to late - thirties.

    I think people over-think titles.
    :neutral:






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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