Your weekly "Weddit" recap (wedding forum etiquette fails)

charcoalandblush

PrettyGirlLost said:

AuroraRose41 said:

You guys. I got home and checked that thread again. There is someone who quoted finding personal information of posters in this thread based on their TK usernames. Please please please be careful with how much you put on the internet. 

Supposedly someone found my FB page, which I doubt because my TK account isn't in any way connected to FB and my FB profile is private.

And I'm being doxxed all because I said that etiquette varying by region is bullshit. I didn't even post anything about any reddit weddings, lol. Just that I disagree with their rule. Sheesh!

Bahahahah I love how the poster attacks my "reading comprehension" despite clearly misunderstanding my post. Never did any of us say we thought he was the OP... in fact, I specifically said that I was coping the REPLY to the OP.

Also I was CLEARLY supposed to know he was the groom and not the bride because he referenced his "FW." Because we all know that weddings can't have two brides... THAT would just be RIDICULOUS.

PrettyGirlLost

flantastic said:

@PrettyGirlLost I wonder why it's always you who gets singled out. Seems to happen a lot.

Looks like some people would want to get the majority of TK regs banned from TK and Reddit (I'm not on Reddit, so, TK I guess)... presumably for daring to say (not even directly on Reddit) that stupid ideas posted there are stupid?

Hahaha I have no idea!  It's just ironic that they are trying to doxx me over criticizing one of their rules, not any of their actual wedding related comments, and all in a thread where the OP is bitching about and accusing us of doxxing her.

God Bless the interwebz and it's logic/sense of justice.

PrettyGirlLost

charcoalandblush said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

AuroraRose41 said:

You guys. I got home and checked that thread again. There is someone who quoted finding personal information of posters in this thread based on their TK usernames. Please please please be careful with how much you put on the internet. 

Supposedly someone found my FB page, which I doubt because my TK account isn't in any way connected to FB and my FB profile is private.

And I'm being doxxed all because I said that etiquette varying by region is bullshit. I didn't even post anything about any reddit weddings, lol. Just that I disagree with their rule. Sheesh!

Bahahahah I love how the poster attacks my "reading comprehension" despite clearly misunderstanding my post. Never did any of us say we thought he was the OP... in fact, I specifically said that I was coping the REPLY to the OP.

Also I was CLEARLY supposed to know he was the groom and not the bride because he referenced his "FW." Because we all know that weddings can't have two brides... THAT would just be RIDICULOUS.

Yep, you're trying to use inclusive language and not be heteronormative, but I'm ethnocentric.  Lawl.

ashley8918

PrettyGirlLost said:

flantastic said:

@PrettyGirlLost I wonder why it's always you who gets singled out. Seems to happen a lot.

Looks like some people would want to get the majority of TK regs banned from TK and Reddit (I'm not on Reddit, so, TK I guess)... presumably for daring to say (not even directly on Reddit) that stupid ideas posted there are stupid?

Hahaha I have no idea!  It's just ironic that they are trying to doxx me over criticizing one of their rules, not any of their actual wedding related comments, and all in a thread where the OP is bitching about and accusing us of doxxing her.

God Bless the interwebz and it's logic/sense of justice.

This is what I find so hilarious about the whole thing. Like, wooooooowwww you guys are so cool! Even if they did somehow find you, I assumne your shit is private since you are smart, sooooo?

PrettyGirlLost

ashley8918 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

flantastic said:

@PrettyGirlLost I wonder why it's always you who gets singled out. Seems to happen a lot.

Looks like some people would want to get the majority of TK regs banned from TK and Reddit (I'm not on Reddit, so, TK I guess)... presumably for daring to say (not even directly on Reddit) that stupid ideas posted there are stupid?

Hahaha I have no idea!  It's just ironic that they are trying to doxx me over criticizing one of their rules, not any of their actual wedding related comments, and all in a thread where the OP is bitching about and accusing us of doxxing her.

God Bless the interwebz and it's logic/sense of justice.

This is what I find so hilarious about the whole thing. Like, wooooooowwww you guys are so cool! Even if they did somehow find you, I assumne your shit is private since you are smart, sooooo?

It should be, yes.  I try to be careful jus because people can be cray cray.

AuroraRose41

PrettyGirlLost said:

@PrettyGirlLost I wonder why it's always you who gets singled out. Seems to happen a lot.

Looks like some people would want to get the majority of TK regs banned from TK and Reddit (I'm not on Reddit, so, TK I guess)... presumably for daring to say (not even directly on Reddit) that stupid ideas posted there are stupid?

Hahaha I have no idea!  It's just ironic that they are trying to doxx me over criticizing one of their rules, not any of their actual wedding related comments, and all in a thread where the OP is bitching about and accusing us of doxxing her.

God Bless the interwebz and it's logic/sense of justice.


I know this was sarcasm directed at Reddit, but this is exactly why I like it here at TK. Everyone actually seems to be intelligent and logical (at least the regs; the SS's are a different story). 

And that rule basically allows for breaking etiquette. I cannot comprehend how so many people don't care about making their loved ones comfortable, which is what etiquette is all about. FI keeps calling me a reverse bridezilla because I have prioritized guests' comfort over my "vision"/having pretty things multiple times during the planning process. 

PrettyGirlLost

AuroraRose41 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

@PrettyGirlLost I wonder why it's always you who gets singled out. Seems to happen a lot.

Looks like some people would want to get the majority of TK regs banned from TK and Reddit (I'm not on Reddit, so, TK I guess)... presumably for daring to say (not even directly on Reddit) that stupid ideas posted there are stupid?

Hahaha I have no idea!  It's just ironic that they are trying to doxx me over criticizing one of their rules, not any of their actual wedding related comments, and all in a thread where the OP is bitching about and accusing us of doxxing her.

God Bless the interwebz and it's logic/sense of justice.

I know this was sarcasm directed at Reddit, but this is exactly why I like it here at TK. Everyone actually seems to be intelligent and logical (at least the regs; the SS's are a different story). 

And that rule basically allows for breaking etiquette. I cannot comprehend how so many people don't care about making their loved ones comfortable, which is what etiquette is all about. FI keeps calling me a reverse bridezilla because I have prioritized guests' comfort over my "vision"/having pretty things multiple times during the planning process. 

WTF, BOXES ><

I think they are actually doxxing some random chic based on a Twitter handle. . . which is really bad.  Some random chick is getting creeped on.  Not cool, Reddit.

ohannabelle

I shouldn't have bothered reading the Reddit threads, but I was bored.

What a bunch of hypocritical self righteous nonsense. "Oooh, they're evil because they're talking about us." 

So many pots calling the kettles black. 

So much fucking whining and so many stupid assumptions.  Seriously. How many hundreds of members are here? And we're all "bitches?" How is that even vaguely logical?

Seriously, if someone wants to call me a bitch, come on over and tell me I'm a bitch, and why. Be an adult. But don't group hundreds of people under a label and whine. What a bunch of high school crap.

(Anyone who stalks anybody's registry or Facebook or Twitter is an asshole. Don't care which site they're from. )

polkad0t

ohannabelle said:

I shouldn't have bothered reading the Reddit threads, but I was bored.

What a bunch of hypocritical self righteous nonsense. "Oooh, they're evil because they're talking about us." 

So many pots calling the kettles black. 

So much fucking whining and so many stupid assumptions.  Seriously. How many hundreds of members are here? And we're all "bitches?" How is that even vaguely logical?

Seriously, if someone wants to call me a bitch, come on over and tell me I'm a bitch, and why. Be an adult. But don't group hundreds of people under a label and whine. What a bunch of high school crap.

(Anyone who stalks anybody's registry or Facebook or Twitter is an asshole. Don't care which site they're from. )

I liked the one saying that the first rule of the internet is to not be a dick....yet she's on reddit...which is full to the brim with dicks.  I am surprised anyone was able to type that sentence and not think "hmm, what am I going for here?"

drunkenwitch

I love this board because I can put on my snarky pants, match it to my bitchy boots, and then accessorize those with my judgy hat and catty purse. "Boohoo I putz wurdz on the internets and gotz jujded by peeple I'll nevr meat". Oh grow a pair already.

turqouise55

Knottie59781673 said:

Knottie59781673 said:

Not everyone in that subreddit is from America. Etiquette can vary greatly from country to country.

If you understand what etiquette is- guidelines to properly host and treat your guests well- you'd realize it's pretty universal.

A chair for every butt, don't waste guests time with gaps, don't ask your guests to pay for their drinks. . .

You actually provided a great example of the kind of differences I'm talking about, a wedding without a gap between the ceremony and the reception is virtually unheard of in many countries. Part of etiquette is adhering to social norms in order prevent your guests from encountering any unexpected and uncomfortable situations. A couple of the things you listed could be just as expected as paying for a hotel room as an out of town guest. You can always go beyond and provide more (by covering the cost of hotel rooms, for example), but as long as you're meeting reasonable and established expectations, I think it's fine.

For the record, we'll be having an open bar, no gap, plenty of chairs, plenty of food, and transportation from the hotel to the venue and back. But my family is spread out over four countries, and in my experience while the nature of etiquette is the same, the social norms are different.

emptyeyed said:

Even on planet Earth, not every one has chairs, nor is everyone so lazy as to think it's a personal affront to them to have to stand. Weddings are incredibly diverse experiences and I was pointing out that even seemingly common things like having chairs or alcohol, are not part of all wedding etiquette. 

I mention other cultures because the original comment about etiquette, I believe, was in regards to a rule on Reddit. Not all weddings posted about there or here are about American weddings. Many other cultures which have wedding customs and etiquette very different from American and other Western traditions are often posted about.

I think you might be confusing etiquette with cultural norms or customs/traditions. though.

---

Not necessarily. In my fiance's home country, the actual legal and religious ceremony is done in private -- just the bride, groom, religious officiant, and maybe a family member or two. The reception can be done at any time, often weeks or months later. We'd call that a PPD in the Knot, but it's the normal way things are done there. 

You also don't send out invitation, you just tell people when you're getting married, and everyone shows up. There also isn't an exact start time to the reception, the wedding receptions are multi-day affairs, so people just show up when they feel like it...

PrettyGirlLost

turqouise55 said:

Knottie59781673 said:

Knottie59781673 said:

Not everyone in that subreddit is from America. Etiquette can vary greatly from country to country.

If you understand what etiquette is- guidelines to properly host and treat your guests well- you'd realize it's pretty universal.

A chair for every butt, don't waste guests time with gaps, don't ask your guests to pay for their drinks. . .

You actually provided a great example of the kind of differences I'm talking about, a wedding without a gap between the ceremony and the reception is virtually unheard of in many countries. Part of etiquette is adhering to social norms in order prevent your guests from encountering any unexpected and uncomfortable situations. A couple of the things you listed could be just as expected as paying for a hotel room as an out of town guest. You can always go beyond and provide more (by covering the cost of hotel rooms, for example), but as long as you're meeting reasonable and established expectations, I think it's fine.

For the record, we'll be having an open bar, no gap, plenty of chairs, plenty of food, and transportation from the hotel to the venue and back. But my family is spread out over four countries, and in my experience while the nature of etiquette is the same, the social norms are different.

emptyeyed said:

Even on planet Earth, not every one has chairs, nor is everyone so lazy as to think it's a personal affront to them to have to stand. Weddings are incredibly diverse experiences and I was pointing out that even seemingly common things like having chairs or alcohol, are not part of all wedding etiquette. 

I mention other cultures because the original comment about etiquette, I believe, was in regards to a rule on Reddit. Not all weddings posted about there or here are about American weddings. Many other cultures which have wedding customs and etiquette very different from American and other Western traditions are often posted about.

I think you might be confusing etiquette with cultural norms or customs/traditions. though.

---

Not necessarily. In my fiance's home country, the actual legal and religious ceremony is done in private -- just the bride, groom, religious officiant, and maybe a family member or two. The reception can be done at any time, often weeks or months later. We'd call that a PPD in the Knot, but it's the normal way things are done there. 

You also don't send out invitation, you just tell people when you're getting married, and everyone shows up. There also isn't an exact start time to the reception, the wedding receptions are multi-day affairs, so people just show up when they feel like it...

No, we wouldn't.

A PPD is when the couple chooses to get married civilly, usually for government or health benefits and usually in secret, and then they choose to have a more lavish "wedding" later, complete with floofy dress, WP, officiant, vows, etc. because they wanted a "real" wedding.  PPDs typically involve lying to guests and having a full on ceremony.

What you have described is not a PPD and has nothing to do with etiquette.  You gave a great example of local customs. . . which are not the same as etiquette.

turqouise55

Well, the weddings in his home country still have a ceremony, fancy dresses, a big feast,dancing, receiving of gifts...you just get legally married ahead of time. I guess that's why I thought people from America might consider it a PPD, because they are not actually getting married on the day they have their wedding. 

Furthermore I have a feeling if I didn't tell my guests when the wedding was going to start, folks would get pretty annoyed at me for not hosting properly. Similarly, if we had a wedding in my fiance's country and we told people what time to show up, we'd come across as pushy. 

flbride2015

turqouise55 said:

Well, the weddings in his home country still have a ceremony, fancy dresses, a big feast,dancing, receiving of gifts...you just get legally married ahead of time. I guess that's why I thought people from America might consider it a PPD, because they are not actually getting married on the day they have their wedding. 

Furthermore I have a feeling if I didn't tell my guests when the wedding was going to start, folks would get pretty annoyed at me for not hosting properly. Similarly, if we had a wedding in my fiance's country and we told people what time to show up, we'd come across as pushy. 

What country is this?

turqouise55

flbride2015 said:

turqouise55 said:

Well, the weddings in his home country still have a ceremony, fancy dresses, a big feast,dancing, receiving of gifts...you just get legally married ahead of time. I guess that's why I thought people from America might consider it a PPD, because they are not actually getting married on the day they have their wedding. 

Furthermore I have a feeling if I didn't tell my guests when the wedding was going to start, folks would get pretty annoyed at me for not hosting properly. Similarly, if we had a wedding in my fiance's country and we told people what time to show up, we'd come across as pushy. 

What country is this?

Morocco