Wedding Recap and Withdrawal

No Show Guests

We had 2 guests who were flying from the west to east coast that didn't show up to our wedding. In fact, they didn't even call us to let us know. Their excuses were that they were fighting, so they decided not to go. Since they were taking a 5 hour flight, I'm surprise that they didn't inform us within 24 hours; then, we could have canceled their meals.

I had a great day, so I'm not going to let these rude people get me down. My solution to the problem is to ignore them and go about my happy married life. 

I was curious to find out how other brides handled no show guests.

Re: No Show Guests

  • No shows suck but it's best not to say anything.  Saying something to the person/ people only makes matters worse. I'm pretty pissed that my own cousin was a no show at my wedding but I have to see him and his parents often so it's not worth the fight. You are right to let it go.
     
      Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • No shows are very typical.  I was the MOH in a wedding a couple years ago and they had around 6 no shows.  But they also had a couple people show up when they had RSVPd no.  So it almost worked out (they still paid for a couple extra meals).

    Personally, I would just let it go.  It's really not anything to get upset about.

  • Life happens.

     My daughter had one guest attend the ceremony but never show up for the reception.  Turns out, her husband had a fairly serious medical situation arise on route to the reception.

    We had another guest show up for the reception after RSVP'ing "no". 

    I don't think the bride or groom were even aware of any of it.  In my mind, that is how it should work.  As the MOB, I could not think of ANY reason that the bride or groom needed to have that information.  Nothing can change it as it happens, and nothing can make a difference after the fact.
  • edited August 2012
    I sure wouldn't worry about only 2 no shows! We had about 15 no shows at our wedding on 8/17 in which at $25 per person, was about $375 in food that was wasted since the venue wouldn't let us take any food out...too bad because the ham was absolutely delish..we got so many comments on how good it was...I was hoping maybe alot of people went for seconds!  My own Grandpa did not come and about 3 of my cousins and a couple of others that had RSVP'd yes..
    Cheryl (25) Andy (24) Newlyweds as of 8-17-12 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker pregnancy week by week
  • I had 25 no shows! I pouted about it for a couple days but I'm over it by now. I think the reason it bothered me the most was I was a DIY, coupon clipping bride to try to have the best wedding possible and that was a huge chunk of change to let go to waste. I won't say anything to anyone about it. It's just one of those things.... incredibly rude... YES, but not worth letting it keep me down. My wedding weekend was amazing regardless.
    Anniversary
  • I did call to check on a few no-shows who had already shared their travel plans with me.

    Others from the local area, I just ignored. It is really sad that some folks don't respect how much weddings cost!
  • I got married earlier this month and I couldn't tell you if we had no shows! I really don't know if we did or not. We did have some that left pretty early that I was a tiny bit disapointed about but it was a week night so I guess I understand. If any one no showed, I'm sure they either had a good reason, completely forgot, or don't really like us, and I don't care either way.
  • We had about 9 no shows. Some called with a reason, some did not. I am always amazed at the lack of courtesy people have when it comes on to weddings.
  • We had  no shows.  Only 3 we never heard from.  i was annoyed but got over it.  Life goes on.
    Anniversary Visit The Nest!
  • A couple that would waste a paid-for trip because of a fight was probably best left out of your wedding day anyway ... you wouldn't want them squabbling about and causing a scene.

    They should have contacted you, or someone at least, to state that they were no longer coming.  It is a disappointment to have no shows, but it's to be expected.

    We had one couple (my cousin) as a no show - the storm that touched down on the East Coast earlier in August had my cousin & her husband waiting in the airport all of Thursday evening, all of Friday.  They tried seeing if they could take off from Jersey, NY or even drive to a diff state to take off from, but most of them were shut down (that was already more than I would expect, so I was grateful that they took the time, and happy they were safe).  Worked out fine since a friend who previously said he could not come till after dinner due to work constraints ended up with a day off ... asked him to come for the whole day, along with a friend who was only going to come after dinner as well.

    Did they feel silly sitting at the older folks table?  Probably, but they moved right after, had a free meal, and I didn't waste $500 worth of food.  All works out Smile

    (Total guest count; 180 ... 2 cancelled, replaced night before = 100% attendance ... yay!)
    Anniversary
  • EK2013EK2013 member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    edited September 2012
    There've been a lot of discussions about no shows on the Knot, but what I can't figure out is what to do now. Do I try to forgive him? Do I consider this a friendship-ending move, at least as far as my no-show guest and I are concerned?

    Ladies, what did you do about your relationships with your no-shows?
  • We had about 7 no-shows. My cousin's father passed away a week & a half before the wedding so I knew she wouldn't make it. We had already turned in final count & paid the venue so there was nothing to be done. But she had the decency & courtesy to let us know. (She's a very sweet person & I felt awful for her.)

    I didn't realize the other 5 were no-shows until the next day when we were sorting through the things we got back from the venue & we saw their place cards.  Very RUDE if you ask me. Not only did they not notify us in advance, they still have not acknowledged the fact that they didn't bother to show up.  Emergencies do happen. It would be nice to at least be given the respect to let us know why they didn't attend.

    I am pretty much over it, but I will never forget. We went out of our way to invite certain people & this is how they show their love for us??
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_no-show-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:39968427-a955-4b99-99eb-15fda3464155Post:d3431831-7605-4688-8561-6f88ae67d314">Re: No Show Guests</a>:
    [QUOTE] Ladies, what did you do about your relationships with your no-shows?
    Posted by EK2013[/QUOTE]


    One of them is a cousin who I had not seen in years & we reconnected via FaceBook 2 yrs ago. I should have never even bothered to invite him.  My solution is to just ignore him & pretend he doesn't exist.
    Petty? Yes. Do I care? No. 
    <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />
  • Nothing changed relationship-wise with our no-shows. Several people got lost en route to the ceremony, so they missed the ceremony but made the reception.

    One set of no-shows was a couple who were expecting... she was put on bed-rest by her doctor the Wednesday before our Friday wedding. Another couple, the wife has terminal cancer and they said they would do their best to be there but ultimately, she wasn't feeling well enough to go.

    While a wedding feels like OMG-THE-MOST-IMPORTANT-DAY-EVER to the couple, the reality is that no one is going to care as much as you do. And even if they do care, life happens. Should people call and give you a heads up? Yes. But in most cases, what good will it do? The day-of, you often can't remove numbers from your final count since the venue has already purchased and prepared the food...

  • We had a couple of no shows.  How did we handle it?  We just let it go.  Seriously.  Just let it go.
  • We had about 20-25 no shows for our large, formal August wedding and I was really upset about it.  We had to pay for the plated meal and the full bar for each person ahead of the event and thus we spent almost $3,000 on no-shows.  It's easy to say, "let it go", but really, it's not that easy.  I spent so many hours working on the guest list and there were so many people we had to leave off in the end.  The fact that so many people were rude without an explanation was really beyond my comprehension.  I've moved on, and our wedding was certainly the happiest day ever, but I do believe that I had every right to be frustrated.

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards